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Song Parodies -> "Arthur Andersen"

Original Song Title:

"Mrs. Robinson"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Arthur Andersen"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

Here's to you, Arthur Andersen;
Congress wants you more than you might guess.
Don't confess!

Just plead the fifth, Arthur Andersen;
DC has a place for those who pay.
You will pay,
Pay, pay, pay.

Here's to clean audits sold at retail;
Put them in your shredder with your e-mail!

There's a little secret called the Enron books affair
You knew funds were gone, but you did not know where!

Check the debits, check the credits;
At sales price and cost;
Every way you look at it,
You're lost!

Try to merge, Arthur Andersen;
Your status as a big five firm is done.
Was it fun?

Now close your doors, Arthur Andersen;
Clients have all left and gone away.
They won't pay
Pay, pay, pay.

We're the workers at Enron and we don't understand
How your audit staff let things get out of hand.

They read our cooked books, but they didn't realize
Kenneth Lay was capable of telling great big lies.

Research the law, research the facts;
See what gets assumed;
Every way you look at it,
He's doomed!

What have you done, Mr. CEO?
And what about our 401K dough?
Where'd it go?

What's that you say, Arthur Andersen?
Cashbox Ken has given it away!
He did pay,
Pay, pay, pay.

Giving checks to both sides of the House and Senate floor;
That's what Enron's capital budget funds were for!

Do Ken Lay and Enron now have legislative clout?
Or will they be recognized when subpoenas go out?

Watch the Senate, watch the House, and
Whom they both accuse
Every way you look at it,
We lose!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 43

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   3
 5   38

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

MarthaDTox - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Love the parody. Have just found this site .. keep up the good work
John Jenkins - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, MarthaDTox. I certainly appreciate the kind words from the author of "Ode to Kenneth Lay," which I thought was exceptional.
MarthaDTox - February 02, 2004 - Report this comment
That one took a bit of research.. just like your Budget deficit which is excellent
Meriadoc - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Pretty good John!
Peregrin - April 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Good work and funny John
Rod Worden - April 03, 2004 - Report this comment
On balance, or to sum it up, I loved it. Put (3) 5s in your asset column, John!
Adagio - April 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good parody!
Rick D - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
You and Martha are soulmates here. I admire your gifts for political humor, but I always look for things that will be funny years down the road, so I often skip "current events". My loss. Did give you fives, though.
wdh - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
I dont know political humor too well, but I was able to research and find that this was quite funny
John Jenkins - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Meriadoc, Peregrin, Rod, Adagio, Rick, and wdh. Rick, there is definitely a trade off between doing current event parodies and completely fictional parodies. I think the best parodies are those that poke fun at something real, not fictional, and I tend to think that the people I parody have done something that invites being poked fun at. Of course, I acknowledge that many of these parodies lose their relevance over time. Maybe the best parodies are those that poke fun at broader social trends, such as technology, and are able to combine the best of both worlds.
Johnny D - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Bravo, JJ - go get 'em!
Guy - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
John - Somehow I missed this one. Well written and funny.
Claude Prez - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Great stuff John; lotsa funny lines
2nz - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
John, I would go so far as to say that your parodies are one of the reasons I am trying to pay more attention to politics. Really well written
Paul Robinson - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
John J. - Good job here, I was just getting ready to come back down from my vacation up North when you posted this so I missed it. 5's now. - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, Johnkins. Many many great lines, with the last two as the perfect punchline. This is excellent.
martha - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
great stuff John gets my vote!

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