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Song Parodies -> "The Gown's Not Stylin'"

Original Song Title:

"The Sound of Silence"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"The Gown's Not Stylin'"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Presenting the 13th Annual Bjork Awards for the worst in Oscar fashion. I started these "awards" when Joan Rivers -- whom they foolishly left out of the annual "In Memoriam" tribute -- went on "The View" the next day, and mentioned the "swan dress" worn by the Icelandic actress who'd been the lead singer of the Sugarcubes: "Ugh! That idiot Bjork! That dress was so bad, even heterosexuals were making fun of it!"
(instrumental opening)

Hello, Gaga, my old friend.
I'm come to mock you out again.
Because those red gloves you wore were creepy.
Mixed with silver dress, made me weepy.
And the vision
that was planted in my brain
gives me strain.

Because the gown's... not stylin'.

On restless carpet walked Scarlett
with a look you should not get.
With that green necklace, she's not a champ.
Left me feeling rather cold and damp.
Then my eyes were stabbed
by a crossword-puzzle-looking dress.
Miss Watts' mess.

Naomi's gown's... not stylin'.

And then a naked shoulder, yet
from dress of Patricia Arquette.
Black on bottom, white on top, sweeping.
Her designer must have been sleeping.
People making clothes
they never should have shared.
Still they dared.

And, no, the gown's... not stylin'.

"Fool!" said I to Miss Paltrow.
On her shoulder, giant rose.
White spots on gray dress, on eyes too hard
was worn by Marion Cotillard.
And my hopes
like silent movie fell...

and echoed, "The gown's... not stylin'."

And the people bowed and prayed
to the gold statue they made.
Anna Kendrick's salmon-pink ensemble
made her once again look very dumb.
And this guy said, "Dakota, your red dress
didn't need that shoulder-strap today!
In shade of gray!"

I chuckled,
"The gown's... not stylin'."

(instrumental close)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.1
How Funny: 2.1
Overall Rating: 2.1

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   11
 11
 11
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Better than Neil Patrick Harris in his underpants.
Patrick - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
I think I was watching a PBS special on birds. Their Father knows how to array them properly. Caught one of the morning news show commentators referring to Lady Gaga's gloves as "oven mits" or "gardening gloves", something like that. Amazing you could crank this parody out so quickly. You watch all these shows an hour later than I do.
Patrick - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Also liked the way you rhymed "ensemble" and "dumb". You must have some familiarity with la bell langue fran├žaise.
Meriadoc - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Good job working in the original bits with the new. And yes, I caught the ensemble/dumb rhyme also. Had a little trouble with the meter - some of the words had to be stressed wrongly to fit, but overall a very nice job.

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