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Song Parodies -> "Rich Like Romney"

Original Song Title:

"Richard Cory"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Rich Like Romney"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

On the eve of the 2008 US presidential election, I parodied TOS about a Democrat candidate. To be fair and balanced after 45 months, I offer this hypothetical view of the current Republican candidate by a middle-class resident of Massachusetts going to a local polling place on November 6.
They say that Willard Romney loaned and laughed when plants shut down,
With more off-shore bank connections to spread his wealth unfound.
Born in Mormon family, a governor's heir child,
He had everything a man could want: power, grace, grand style.

But I worked in Bain's factories,
And I cursed that lifeless living
And I cursed my poverty.
But Mitt left turn-century,
Saved Olympics' solvency,
Rose to Statehouse in '03,
Wizard Romney.

The tabloids print his pictures; all boast clever weekly scolds:
Willard Romney's jet-ski hop-aboard with Ann Romney at controls;
And the two-fers of her Caddies and the four-car lift he's bought!
Oh, his marriage must be happy with the only wife he's caught.

But I see Bain-closed factories
And my purse was rifled, giving,
Making worse my poverty.
Unemployment checks for me,
"Food stamps" [1] for my family;
Massachusetts' heathcare's "free"
Thanks to Romney.

He freely salvaged bankruptcies, he had the Midas touch,
And they were grateful for his expertise and bankrolled very much.
So my mind was filled with wonder when those scrolling headlines read:
"Romneys party election night when states that polled as blue turn red."

Now I'll work in new factory,
And I'll thirst for life and living
And I'll burst from poverty.
Then Americans would see
Equal opportunity,
With all wishing they could be
Rich like Romney.
[1] Renamed SNAP (Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Brock O'Brahma - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
After reading this one, I went back and read 2008's "Hussein Barry" to this O/S. Bravo on both parodies. My humble take from these two parodies are: people are guaranteed the pursuit of happiness, not happiness. Equality of opportunity not outcome. There's no such thing as a free lunch. Hard work is it's own reward. And Willard really is a funny name. :)
Barry J. Mitchel - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
B O'B: Thanks; according to Wikipedia, he was named after family friend, hotel magnate J. Willard Marriott, and his father's cousin Milton "Mitt" Romney, a former quarterback for the Chicago Bears. He was called "Billy" until kindergarten, when he indicated a preference for "Mitt".
Meriadoc - August 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Ah, but the writer got a job back at the end - see, the economy is already rebounding - ha ha. ;)

This was a very clever remake of the OS; am now gonna go check out your Barak one.
Barry J. Mitchel - August 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Meriadoc: Thanks; Did you notice that the new job, and renewed hope for advancement, comes after election of Mitt Romney as 45th president?

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