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Song Parodies -> "The Wrong Mike Douglas"

Original Song Title:

"The Sound of Silence"

Original Performer:

Simon and Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"The Wrong Mike Douglas"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

In memoriam, Michael Delany Dowd Jr., a.k.a. Mike Douglas, 1925-2006. Host of one of America's all-time greatest talk shows, 1961-81. Except... when I saw the headline, "Mike Douglas dies,"... I am, for the most part, ashamed of what I thought, because it made one of my running gags kick in.
(instrumental opening)

Hello, darkness, my old friend.
You're overcoming me again.
Because a feeling comes in, creeping
about girl with, I wish, I'm sleeping.
And the vision that it's planted in my brain
still remains.

But it's the wrong... Mike Douglas!

In restless dreams Ms. Zeta-Jones
leaves me feeling like I'm stoned.
She's wed to that guy who's such a scamp
leaves me feeling clammy, cold and damp.
Then my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a news headline.
At last, she's mine!

But it's the wrong... Mike Douglas!

When I was young, back then, I saw
a thousand guests of his, and more.
People talking, and some singing.
He loved guests who got his ears ringing
with some lovely songs that voices always shared.
Still I dared...

think it's not that... Mike Douglas!

"Fool!" said news, "you did not know!
Frustration like fungus grows!
You should mourn this talk-show host, yes you
should have wished that he would once guest you!"
But my tears
like silent raindrops fell.

A wreck I... am still... from Douglas!

And the people bowed and prayed
at legacy Mike Douglas made.
And the holy water was sprinkled.
Still I think about the guy wrinkled.
Yeah, the guy said,
"Just check out my girl's movie poster
on the subway walls!"
He's got such gall!

I'm mourning
the wrong...

Mike Douglas!
As his father, Kirk Douglas, may (or may not) have said, "It makes me sick to my stomach..."

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Geez Mike, so close yet still so far. I wouldn't fret too much- you must have at least 60 years on Douggo...he won't be around forever...then...mwahahaha! 555
Michael Pacholek - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Don't be too sure, Kristof: Kirk turns 90 in December, and his "boy" is about to hit, despite all the age jokes from the likes of myself and Jay Leno, 62. Catherine, and then three months later I, will soon both be 37. (Jennifer Lopez is also slightly older... or slightly younger, her lying about her age exposed by getting arrested, thanks a lot, Puffy.) And I want to say, one more time: I disliked Douglas, and liked Catherine, well before they got together. Just like I disliked Brad Pitt from the moment I saw him, and it has nothing to do with him taking away first Jennifer Aniston (also born the same year as I was) and then Angelina Jolie (a few years younger). And I hated Johnny Depp well before he took away (and then gave up) Winona Ryder (a little younger).
alvin rhodes - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
funny AND sad

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