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Song Parodies -> "This Bridge Costs A Billion Dollars"
Original Song Title:
"Bridge Over Troubled Water"
Original Performer:
Simon and Garfunkel
Parody Song Title:
"This Bridge Costs A Billion Dollars"
Parody Written by:
John Jenkins
The Lyrics
Capitol Hill might have reached a new high for pork barrel spending last week. The $287 billion transportation bill that was passed by the House and the Senate and signed by President Bush included $941 million for Alaska pork barrel projects. These were inserted into the bill by Transportation Committee Chairman Don Young, the Republican Congressman from Alaska and included $230 million for a bridge connecting the city of Ketchikan (population: 8,000) to Gravina Island (population: 50). It's not really a billion dollar bridge yet. It's only estimated to cost $315 million (Alaskans are supposed to pay the difference), but we know what a good job Washington, DC does of estimating costs.
Fellow Congressmen, one and all,
Though we're all arrogant, I have the most gall.
I am in charge - of transit funds,
I am King of the Hill.
Though this bridge costs a billion dollars,
We will pass this bill.
Though it might make you scream and holler,
We will pass this bill.
When Alaska needs
Help from Uncle Sam,
My voters have no doubt
I will find the funds.
I'll use my clout
When bills get passed
And pork is all around.
Though this bridge won't have any users,
I will lay it down.
Yes, tax payers will be big losers
When I lay it down.
Budget deficits
Used to be
A big concern for me.
But now watch my spending grow
Up to the hilt.
I have no remorse,
And I feel zero guilt.
Though this bridge leads us straight to nowhere,
I will get it built.
Though Alaskans don't want to go there,
I will get it built.
Though we're all arrogant, I have the most gall.
I am in charge - of transit funds,
I am King of the Hill.
Though this bridge costs a billion dollars,
We will pass this bill.
Though it might make you scream and holler,
We will pass this bill.
When Alaska needs
Help from Uncle Sam,
My voters have no doubt
I will find the funds.
I'll use my clout
When bills get passed
And pork is all around.
Though this bridge won't have any users,
I will lay it down.
Yes, tax payers will be big losers
When I lay it down.
Budget deficits
Used to be
A big concern for me.
But now watch my spending grow
Up to the hilt.
I have no remorse,
And I feel zero guilt.
Though this bridge leads us straight to nowhere,
I will get it built.
Though Alaskans don't want to go there,
I will get it built.
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User Comments
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My wife's from Alaska. She'll like this, as I did.
Those political porkers just cantilever well-enough alone, can they?
You span a good gap, here....
John J: Very good, and thank you for exploding the myth the Republicans being either "conservative" or fiscally responsible. Why Alaska, a State that depends so heavily on environmental protection, keeps electing boneheads like Young and the Murkowskis is beyond me. John D: Another joke like that, and we'll all need a steel truss.
Thanks for the comments. MP, thanks for noticing that I will do a parody about Republicans when they mess up. There is something about politicians of both major parties who mostly campaign on fiscal responsibility and get to Washington, DC, and feel a need to spend, spend, spend. Also, MP, even thought Alaska receives environmental protection, I would not conclude that Alaska "depends" on it.
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