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Song Parodies -> "Election's Fair"

Original Song Title:

"Scarborough Fair"

Original Performer:

Simon and Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Election's Fair"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Can't say the Republicans stole this one. They won it by lying and stirring up fear. Face it, if John Kerry had run against George W. Bush, he would have won. But he ran against the World Trade Center and Pat Robertson, and he lost.
Are you saying the election's fair?
Harshness, rage, contrary this time?
Remember me to those you would scare.
They once were some true friends of mine.

Tell them they're racist and elitist jerks.
(On the side of a hill is a voting-booth scene.)
Harshness, rage, contrary this time?
(Tracing a narrow mind running this town.)
Without health insurance nor work.
(Pep pills and rifles, the child of the mountain)
Then they'll see the right way was mine.
(sleeps unappreciative of country's call.)

Tell them to find me an acre of land.
(On the side of a hill a Marine mother grieves.)
Harshness, rage, contrary this time?
(Washes the grave with silvery tears.)
The arsenic water, choking on sand.
(A soldier scared, he swallows up his gun)
This whole land's where sun will not shine.
(sleeps as result of his commander's call.)

Tell them to reap what they sow, it ain't better.
(War bellows blazing in misplaced battalion.)
Harshness, rage, contrary this time?
(Dubya orders his soldiers to kill)
And see them next time, unless Iraq war gets 'er.
(and to fight for a cause not Osama bin Laden.)
Then they'll see the right way was mine.

Are you saying the election's fair?
Harshness, rage, contrary this time?
Remember me to those you would scare.
They once were some true friends of mine.
Let's see: Baseball, disaster, check. Presidential election, close enough to a disaster, check. Alma Mater and the Thanksgiving rivalry game? We've got a better record, and we're in the State Playoffs and they're not, but that may not stop me from getting the Triple Crown. One hell of an autumn even if we do win.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Found myself doing this quite a bit with some of these election parodies: not funny, but couldn't bring myself to give anything but a five for something so powerfully written. The working in of the canticle lyric was excellent.
Johnny D - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
What Phil said. Word for word.
John Barry - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Same here.
Paul Robinson - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Exquisite job, MP...ditto to Phil's kudo comments...was tickled by your Canticle's...5's...
Ravyn Rant - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent. Fives for you. However, check out Greg Palast's website before you decide the election was "fair".
Shiek Of The Mutilated - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Both candidates were more than eager to cast vitriol on each other and belittling their constituency. Dirty politics is dirty politics. You hypocrites need to wake up. The two-Party system is a failure.
General Nuisance - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
You speak of war but you have no clue. Have you ever been in a theatre of war or served in the military? If not then write about something you really understand.
Major Disturbance - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Part deranged, rasberries, and blind.
Corporal Punishment (Paul Robinson) - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I couldn't resist using the psuedonym here since I just got thru writing about how I don't use them. But I showed my face in parentheses after the 'nym...Anyway, GENERAL...'TEN-HUT'. There is no requirement that one serve or suffer through war or anything else to write about it. What did the Author say here that would require that? You see, Gen, if I may call you that, writers often attempt to PUT themselves in the place of other people when they write. Some are good at it, some are not. Some are good at it SOME of the time, but not always. But the attempt is made so that we might all better understand facets of the human condition. So I must reject the limitation you wish to place on this Author. It's an attempt to intimidate and eviscerate one of the tools of his craft. That's censorship in my book. Thank you.
Michael Pacholek - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
General Nuisance: No, I have never served in a war. Neither has Georgie Bush. The difference is that I know that Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with 9/11 and our soldiers are now fighting, killing and dying for a goddamned lie. That alone should have been enough reason to fire the son of a bitch. There were a hundred reasons. I guess Ohio thought gay marriage was a greater threat to this nation than Osama bin Laden and half-trillion-dollar deficits. They and you are getting the President, the war results, and the economy you deserve. The rest of us will have to work and wait to restore our freedom.
Seaman Stains - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
That Kerry guy can drive his swift boat up my canal any time. Who wants a Bush anyway, ewww, Miss Thing, that's nasty.
Captain Hindgrinder - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Seaman Stains, have y'ever been boned up the ass for bein' a wise-guy?
Private Parts - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
You know what they say about those Navy guys. Hmm gay marriage agenda, Navy... Navy, gay marriage agenda... Kerry, gay marriage agenda... gay marriage agenda, Kerry... Hmm Kerry, Navy... Navy, Kerry... Ya think?
Prince Namor, The Subdecorator - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Welcome to Atlantis, air-breathers.
Commander Kerry - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Permission to "come" on board or in board sir or mam or whatever.
Seaman Stains - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Captain Hindgrinder sir, I'd like to take you up on that but you know that enlisted are not suppossed to fraternise with officers. But if they don't ask, I won't tell.
unrestricted Author - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Corporal Punishment- Now, in the interest of artistic self-expression, I will now attempt to put myself in your place... Ahem... "Dear Mr. Right Wing Writer, instead of commenting on the parody at hand, I shall write my own little thesis on every miniscule falacy or flaw in your writing, right down to the punctuation marks. Hopefully, by the time you finish reading this insulting essay you won't even remember what the hell your comment was even about. If you attempt to respond to my criticism, I will take even more shots at your God-given opinion, taking this conversation farther and farther off topic, and simultaneously making myself feel like a bigger man." Whoah, that was scary. I feel like I need to wash myself.
Paul Robinson - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
unrestricted Author - I was just responding to HIS comments. Don't worry, I will try not to let that happen again. But, anyway, I think I am still allowed to do that, if I wish to. Oh, here are a couple "miniscule falacy/flaw" items for you to chew on...(1) You mispelled "fallacy" (2) As far as I am aware opinions are not "God-given", I believe they are generated from within the human mind, although sometimes they are merely a regurgitation of someone else's opinion. Wow! FAR OUT! I just grew almost a whole inch with those remarks! And finally, make sure to get behind those ears this time...

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