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Song Parodies -> "I Am A Chalk"
Original Song Title:
"I Am A Rock"
Original Performer:
Simon and Garfunkel
Parody Song Title:
"I Am A Chalk"
Parody Written by:
The Comedian
The Lyrics
A new school day
I shall weep this dark September
I am alone
Gazing from this blackboard
To the floor below
Where I see a pile of my dust white as snow
I am a chalk
And lonely I am
On this wall
I once wrote lessons lightly
That stu-dents would notate
But now they use computers
They forgot my name
They think that chalk and blackboards are so lame
I am a chalk
I once made white hands
PC's they love
They prefer them to chalk-boards
They keep things in their memory
They don't disturb my slumber
So I commiserate
With my pal eraser, we bemoan our fate
I am a chalk
No use in cryin'
They have their books
And their computers to engage them
They don't wield that chalk anymore
Gazing at their screens
Typing on their keys
They touch their mice but no one touches me
I am a chalk
My dust ain't flyin'
They think chalk seems so lame
Pal eraser, please, don't cry
I shall weep this dark September
I am alone
Gazing from this blackboard
To the floor below
Where I see a pile of my dust white as snow
I am a chalk
And lonely I am
On this wall
I once wrote lessons lightly
That stu-dents would notate
But now they use computers
They forgot my name
They think that chalk and blackboards are so lame
I am a chalk
I once made white hands
PC's they love
They prefer them to chalk-boards
They keep things in their memory
They don't disturb my slumber
So I commiserate
With my pal eraser, we bemoan our fate
I am a chalk
No use in cryin'
They have their books
And their computers to engage them
They don't wield that chalk anymore
Gazing at their screens
Typing on their keys
They touch their mice but no one touches me
I am a chalk
My dust ain't flyin'
They think chalk seems so lame
Pal eraser, please, don't cry
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 2 | 3 |
User Comments
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Yeehaa, but aww for the chalk. What do teachers do now when they need someone to clean the board? Erase memory? hehe
Thanks Adagio! Beats me. I'm an old fart from the chalkboard generation.
"They touch their mice but no one touches me" Priceless! Nice parody JD. This is so true. 5 blackboard chalk screeches. Hey does the modem windup replace the screeching chalk?
Thanks Guy! Yes, the modem windup would kind of replace the chalk-screech, wouldn't it? Say, are you by any chance responding to the shamelessly self-promoting message that I wrote as a comment on one of your parodies today, inviting you to come over here and check out "I Am A Chalk" ? I did the same for a number of other authors, too ..... there's so much material being posted these days, we've gotta try anything to get our voices heard around here - - - LOL ! ;-D
Well, there was some wit to it, but I can't say it was a great one. Maybe if you'd put in a reference to chalkboards now being green instead of black, and then replaced by white and the chalk being replaced by multi-colored magic markers. In other words, there's your idea for a sequel!
Thanks Michael - hmmm, "I'm a whiteboard / With those dry and fragrant markers / You will get stoooooooned " ...... hmmm... I dunno..... why don't you write that one?
Guy...what is a modem windup ???
555 for the original, and touching story. I will never look at chalk the same again. I am personally partial to the dry-erase markers myself... they don't mess up your black pants, and get you high if you use 'em long enough. (Disclaimer... that's NOT a recommendation for you experimental types).
Note to self...READ THOROUGHLY all other comments before posting your own...
At the university where I work, there are very few blackboards left. We have a lot of those white boards that use the aforementioned dry erase markers. You can order them in "low odor," but the one time that I did that, several faculty complained. So now we're back to the "fragrant" variety and everybody is very, very happy!
Leah - thank you very much for your vote and comments! In your humorous "READ THOROUGHLY" comment, are you alluding to my exchange with Michael about the "fragrant" markers? Forgive me if I missed something somewhere, but I work in a software company, and I'm surrounded by dry-erase whiteboard markers all day long....hmmm...perhaps I shouldn't have admitted that....some folks might think that explains some things!
Mari D - thank you, very much, too - yeah, forget them low odor markers....dontcha just luv them "high" odor markers? Ooops, I feel a brainstorm coming on - quick, Robin, to the Bat-Whiteboard !
Mari D - thank you, very much, too - yeah, forget them low odor markers....dontcha just luv them "high" odor markers? Ooops, I feel a brainstorm coming on - quick, Robin, to the Bat-Whiteboard !
I do training and consulting, so while I get no benefits, there ARE a few "perks."
So now any potential client who does a search for my name on the internet can say, "ah, this crazy parody writer obsessed with transvestites and dead people, IS in fact, the person we were thinking about hiring..."
I'm trying to think of the right sort of word to describe this... maybe "whimsical"? Certainly original and funny, and very well executed.
Thanks, Phil - "whimsical" works for me.
And Leah - thanks again, and don't worry - they should be impressed by your sense of humor and creativity!
And Leah - thanks again, and don't worry - they should be impressed by your sense of humor and creativity!
Johnny wants me to write the sequel? Hmmmm... In the classroom stands a chalker, and a writer by his trade...
Yup, perfect pacing, and yup, pretty funny. 5/5/5, regardless of the fact that I've never heard of "a chalk," only "a piece of chalk." And yes, I did get your message on All the Sleeping People.
Thanks neminem !
Very clever!
Thanks Meriadoc!
Just checking this OS for any ideas similar to mine. This is not similar. ;-) Excellent work Johnny D, Guy already quoted my favorite line. I am in awe.. I vote the 5s, man!.
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