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Song Parodies -> "They Call Him the Hammer"

Original Song Title:

"If I Had a Hammer"

Original Performer:

Pete Seeger

Parody Song Title:

"They Call Him the Hammer"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I should have saved this for my 715th parody, or even my 755th, but I've got a long way to go. No, it's not about the guy who sang "You Can't Touch This," though he did get that nickname because he resembled the Home Run King when he was a young batboy with the Oakland A's.
They call him the Hammer.
He homered in the morning.
He homered in the evening
all over this land.
He hit 'em off lefties.
He hit 'em off righties.
He homered 'em deep into the Milwaukee evening
and was cheered by the fans.

He answered the bell
and he approached the record.
He homered seven hundred
to Atlanta's stands.
He received some bad letters.
They sent him a warning.
But he kept on hitting those long-distance homers
and was cheered by the fans.

He homered so strong
to seven hundred fourteen.
The record he was breaking
for so long did stand.
Then came the big moment
off pitcher Al Downing.
He swung and hit the ball way out to left-center
and was cheered by the fans.

Well, he got the honors.
We honor him well.
I give him this song I sing
all over this land.
He did this under pressure.
He did this without steroids.
He hit seven hundred fifty-five homers
and was cheered by the fans.
Number 44... Henry Aaron... Right Field... Number 44...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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AFW - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Another hit, here...555 feet
Johnny D - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
You've got to be .... the ball .... na na na na na na naaaaa ..... buh buh buh buh buh baaahhhhh ....
MCHammer - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Yo man, don't be dissin' me now, huh? You know this parody should be about me, dude. I'm so much cooler than some old baseball dude. Did he ever wear parachute pants? Could he dance really cool around the field? Did he rap about his home runs? I don't think so. I still like it man, but now you owe me one! Do ya hear me? If you gotta do one for the other Hammer, you gotta do one for this Hammer!
Rex - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
My father was a sportswriter, specializing in baseball. I grew up in Greenville SC, just a couple hours from Atlanta. Therefore, I saw a lot of Hammerin' Hank -- thanks for this tribute.
alvin rhodes - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
a nice tribute to "bad henry" who did it WITHOUT steroids...5s
John Barry - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice one, Michael. Tom Delay is also called "The Hammer." How about one on him?
Rick Cormier - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
A fine tribute to a fine athlete...............555. Good parody, Michael!
Michael Pacholek - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you all. Mr. Burrell (M.C. Hammer's real name): All I know is, the A's didn't win a Pennant again until you stopped batboying and started rapping. Though I did try to do a parody about Dick Cheney's filthy mouth: "You Can't Say This!" Rex: Greenville was also the home town of Shoeless Joe Jackson, and it's been 86 years since the crime (for which he was acquitted in a court of law), and 53 years since he died, so let's put him and his .356 batting average (3rd all-time behind Cobb and Hornsby) in the Hall of Fame. As long as he was alive, Ted Williams pushed for it. John B: That (expletive deleted) DeLay makes me sick. I'd write one about him, but it would sound too much like a Poopie Longdropping song. Try "Let's Rattle Tom DeLay" and "Republican Taliban" by William Tong.
Alpha Skua - April 01, 2024 - Report this comment
Now if you wanted to Travel it would be If I had a Hummer and with Pigeons If I had a Homer

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