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Song Parodies -> "Boston, Massachusetts M.T.A."

Original Song Title:

"Harper Valley P.T.A."

Original Performer:

Jeannie C. Riley

Parody Song Title:

"Boston, Massachusetts M.T.A."

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Call it a merged parody, call it a flip, call it whatever you want... just give me a rating I can call a five.
Well, let me tell you all the story
of a Boston, Massachusetts guy.
Kissed his wife and kissed his children
and into his pocket he had dropped a dime.
And he walked out to the station
known as Kendall Square one sunny day.
And he soon came to regret his riding on the M.T.A.

Well, at "Pahk Street Undah," he got off
and transferred for Jamaica Plain.
When he got there, the conductor told him
something that made him go quite insane.
He was told there was an exit fare
they'd increased the fare just yesterday.
And so Charlie stayed on board
in a protest of the M.T.A.

Well, all day and night, he's on the train
wondering, "What's left for me?
Never again to see my sis in Chelsea
or cousin in Roxbury.
And now my wife and kids, back home in Cambridge
ain't seen them for several days.
Because I'm fightin' this fare increase on
the Boston, Massachusetts M.T.A.

Well, there's Bobby Taylor, poor kid doesn't get
a student discount for the train.
And Mr. Baker, he's stuck here
though his wife's sure that he's out drinking late again.
And Widow Jones from out in Newton
hopes she'll never again see Braintree.
And Mr. Harper says, 'I'm with ya,'
but I'll tell ya, that is not much help to me."

Well, every day at two-fifteen
you can see the wife of Charlie drive downtown.
Goes to Scollay Square and hands him
a nice sandwich then the train is coming 'round.
But won't give him the extra nickel
'cause she's joined him in this ever-lovin' snit.
The M.T.A. says they're all broke
but the truth is that they're Boston hypocrites.

Guess someone took pity, 'cause ol' Charlie
found a nickel in his shoe next day.
And that's how our man finally got off
the Boston, Massachusetts M.T.A.
That's the day that poor ol' Charlie
left the Boston, Massachusetts M.T.A.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   2
 3   1
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
TT - Tom T. Hall (who wrote HVPTA) meets The Kingston Trio! These are harder to do than most people realize, and it's all in there. Fine job...this is definitely "mock turtle". ;D
Old Man Ribber - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
OOPS! MICHAEL!! Sorry!! I read everything but the author's name!!! Sometimes I'm a Bonehead (or a I pray that TT will be as forgiving as ;D
LOL - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
An "exit fare"? Sounds like something a bunch of tax-subsidized liberal idiots would come up with. After Obummercare kicks in, "exit fare" will include a pint of blood and a kidney.
Patrick - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
After all these years, you have saved Charlie from the perils of government subsidized mass transit. Great idea for a combine of two old favorites. You don't hear story-telling songs much anymore. 5¢5¢5¢.
Fiddlegirl - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
A few pacing glitches from OS, leaving you with 454... But you have been nominated to receive the coveted Walter A. O'Brien award- for your sense of "fare play". ;)
Andy Primus - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
As Patrick said - good story-telling. I presume that the Massachusetts area was settled by Brits from London & the surrounding counties. Boston, Chelsea, Cambridge, Newton & Braintree are all towns in that area of the UK.
Michael Pacholek - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
That's why they call it "New England," Andy. But you've got to take the Forge Park-495 line on commuter rail to get to Islington, named after the best part of London.
Tommy Turtle - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
It's called a "Smoosh", and this was a clever concept for one. (Now let's see the flip side: PTA to MTA, as a proper smoosh should do both sides on the same day).

Alas, I tried singing it at YouTube, and there were pacing glitches in about 1/3 to 1/2 of the lines. I quit halfway through -- no sense beating a dead horse. I'll give you a rating you can call a Five for the concept, and another one you can call a Three for pacing. 353.

Of course, if I were to use your common standard of auto-111-ing anything at all without justification, you'd get that. But I'm above all that - perfect pacing would have been 555.
TJC - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Mass'terful mergin'!
Fives to Patrick - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
for the issue of Gov-subsidized mass transit, which turned the NY subways from clean and profitable under private ownership, to you-know-what and ugly under Gov ownership. (Look it up.) Socialism does not work! (paraphrase of MP line.)

Same story repeated in many other cities: Miami, LA, etc., etc., etc. Yet O wants a Gov-sub 250-mph railroad, when Amtrak can't stay on the rails at 40 mph.

Fla. tried for a subsidized high-speed rail link, mostly to help Disney World, which owns half of it (well, not quite), but the voters had wised up. Miami got its choo-choo by a fraudulent feasibility study, whose lies were revealed *after* the bond vote passed - yet there was no re-vote. Why should someone who works in the suburbs subsidize wealthy downtown lawyers who commute from their palaces? - TT

Hah! Security code EZ5 - and it *could* have been! :)
Old Man Ribber - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Anybody want to do the Harper Valley story to M.T.A.? That might be fun as well! (Oh did she tell them all off? Yes, she told them all off! I remember well that day.) ;D
Yellow Submarine Pilot - February 11, 2011 - Report this comment
The OS is so irritating to my ears, did this kind of schlocky pop gruel rule the radio when I was born in the 60s? The cheapo TV movie from 1979-1980 ain't too hot either but you did do a nice writeup of the OS. Now if we could find a singer suitable for it : )
Michael Pacholek - February 14, 2011 - Report this comment
I did try telling the story of "HVPTA" to the tune of "MTA," but I couldn't make it work. If anyone else wants to try it, be my guest.

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