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Song Parodies -> "Read the Directions"

Original Song Title:

"Eve of Destruction"

Original Performer:

Barry McGuire

Parody Song Title:

"Read the Directions"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Ladies, you know how we guys are...
(guitar intro)

The Eastern road... it is potholin'.
Our shock absorbers... were they stolen'?
I'm old enough to drive... but not for readin'?
I'm on a nasty path, gone off the one that's beaten.
And down here by this river, the engine's overheatin'.
And you... tell me, over and over and over again, my friend
that I should concede, break out and read the directions?

Don't you understand what I'm tryin' to say?
Can't you feel that we'll still reach the boardwalk today?
'Cause the gas pedal's pushed, we're going away.
Look at all the cars I pass, haven't run out of gas.
Take a look at that sign, boy, it's sayin' "ONE WAY," boy
and you... tell me, over and over and over again, my friend
that I should concede, break out and read the directions?

Yeah, your blood's so mad, feels like coagulatin'.
You think I should pull over to this here gas station?
I can't twist the truth, this car don't pass inspection.
My plugs don't quite make the proper connection.
And nothing quite works right in my fuel injection.
It's quite the old wreck, like a Chevy Citation.
This whole crazy car is just too frustratin'
And you... tell me, over and over and over again, my friend
that I should concede, break out and read the directions?

Think of all the parts this car had made in China?
What does that billboard say? "Welcome to Alabama."
We sure left home for four days of beach.
I guess Mobile Bay is the only one in reach.
The pounding of the gas, my driving disgrace.
This car's just about dead, no more will it race.
You're my next-door neighbor, you won't let me save face.
And you... tell me, over and over and over and over again, my friend
that I should concede, break out and read the directions?

No, no, I won't concede.
I will not read the directions.

(instrumental end)
This time, it was not "The Directions That Left Us Imperiled." Yes, that was a shameless plug for one of my other parodies.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

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Timmy1000 - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Not only do we not read, but we do not ask either
Patrick - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
My all time favorite pop song is "Eve of Destruction". I have about 30 different versions in my record/CD collection. Your version reminds me of a Mad Magazine parody from 40 years ago: "The Road is Under Construction". I was riding with a friend the other day. He had one of those rental cars with an on-board navigation system. The lady in the box told him to take a turn that would have taken him miles away from where he was wanting to go via a highway ramp that was closed for repairs. He listened to me instead. Wonderful commentary on men's refusal to ask directions. Reminds me of the time when a friend and I got lost in our own home town for about three hours, driving in an unfamiliar neighborhood.
Andria - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Very good! I enjoyed the parody a lot, and I agree about East Coast streets being full of potholes (The few times I've been back east, I've experienced my fair share of potholes, and the Ford Fiesta rental car I had once didn't make the potholes any more pleasant. It just made them worse.) I agree about the Chevy Citation being junk, I drove my uncle's for about a month when I was in college. 5s.
John Barry - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Great rhyming job all the way through.
Leo Keough - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Funny take on a male stereotype!!!...555!!!
Real Men don't ask for directions... - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
...they have their wife ask. :P
Guy - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Michael - Nothing like taking the DIRECT approach to a problem. Fine parody. I enjoyed the read. I remember this OS all too well - It was about 40 years ahead of its time. So you had 40 years, Moses - you found the place yet? =;-)
Michael Pacholek - October 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Well, it's like Moses told the Israelites at the beginning of those 40 years: Don't have a cow! The really weird part? 1965 + 40 years = 2005, and the security code for this comment was MMV, the Roman numeral for 2005!
LadyNorCAL - October 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Lord Pacholek, love parodies regarding ~old wrecks~ Fun write, Sir !
Rob Saunders - April 27, 2016 - Report this comment
I remember the Mad magazine parody: Marvellous.

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