Many things I think are mighty lame or trite
I know that you love it (you know I'm right, you love it)
Can't avoid all your noise all the time
Because you won't stop it (hate that I'm right, won't stop it)
It's the one joke, 'fraid that it's so
That it just barely counts as one, the effort is low
I say "69", you follow with "nice"
And then you giggle 'til you're on the floor

I wish you could be a real comic, it's true, 'cause right now you're not
You're all "Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa, that's the rude number"
A shoe at your head's comin' 'cause dude, I never was lovin'
Your "Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa, that's the rude number", ya douche

Making me go lengths unknown to avoid the same scene
Want to drown it (oh yeah, it's mighty nonsense)
See it coming up and I bust my arm tryna find
A way 'round it (oh yeah, my spine, you've popped it)
But even when my numbers are fine
I can't stop you invoking the damn thing on your own
Text, message online, even tag your shite
Onto the end of each call on the phone, oh-ooh

Swear you have nothing else for you to do because you won't stop
You're all "Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa, that's the rude number"
Ain't cool, I'm at my limit with you, you're making me pissed with
Your "Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa, that's the rude number", ya douche

Just stop the whole meme number farce
If I'm driven more crazy, you'll lose both of your arms (oh-ooh)
Miss the times when you had a clue
And you weren't so obsessed with laughing so stupid-like
It's not genuine mirth, mate
Put on for that number, man, it really grates (oh-ooh)
Can't you see I don't like it, ya jerk?
"Aren't those two digits the best thing you ever heard?"
Afraid not, haven't been that subtle

It's true that I laugh at jokes that are crude but clever, you're not
You're all "Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa, that's the rude number"
A fool is all you are, a big tool since I never wanted
Your "Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa, that's the rude number", ya douche

Go off that I'm being too harsh
When I also get silly at 420, don't start (oh-ooh)
Well, that line is so close to true
But you've kinda forgotten what divides you and I
First off, there's a wider range
Than one stupid number I find funny, mate (oh-ooh)
And I don't spam it constantly, jerk
'Cause it's true, there's more than one thing I've ever heard