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Song Parodies -> "Swollen Boy"

Original Song Title:

"Golden Boy"

Original Performer:

Kylie Minogue

Parody Song Title:

"Swollen Boy"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Attack of the 50-Foot Toddler!
Aw, won't you look at him? Runnin' through the park
Stands out for a mile, contrast is stark (aw)
It's his beamin' face, that darlin' smile
The way that he hops and then falls in a pile (aw)
Though some folk might have much wider eyes
"He's 50 feet tall!" wild takes (aw)

Yes, my little boy of four ain't so little anymore
I can swear to you, he used to only be near 3 foot 2 (aw)
Now he's our swollen boy, yes, he's our swollen boy
Our precious swollen boy (aw)
Think your attitude is poor just because he smashed your door
'Cause he's just a child, it's true, why can't you hear the way he coos?
Our little swollen boy, yes, he's our swollen boy
Our precious swollen boy

Oh-oh-oh (aw)
Look at the way he plays, it just warms my heart
Why are those jet planes flyin' around in the park (aw)?
He skips and he kicks, suckin' on rocks
Sure those tanks can take landin' turret-side up (aw)
Runnin' amuck like kids have done
Without rocks from outer space (aw)

Sure, my little boy of four ain't so little anymore
And his muddy Ben 10 shoes are makin' giant craters, true
He's still our swollen boy, yes, he's our swollen boy
Our precious swollen boy
Watch him zoom around full bore, he's a racer at his core
And I'm not too scared for you, pilots must have a parachute
Hit by our swollen boy, yes, he's our swollen boy
Our precious swollen boy
Ain't that sweet? He thinks he's Thor with that hammer he adores
Passin' trailer-truck, that's true, I think you'd better make some room
For our good swollen boy, yes, he's our swollen boy
Our precious swollen boy

Bang, bang, bang
Bang, bang, bang
Bang, bang, bang
Bang, bang, bang

Breakin' ev'ry single store (bang, bang, bang) 'cause he just loves to explore
Cutest harbinger of doom (bang, bang, bang) I think I've ever seen, it's true
I love our swollen boy (bang, bang, bang), yes, he's our swollen boy
Our precious swollen boy (bang, bang, bang), our precious swollen boy
I love our swollen boy (bang, bang, bang), yes, he's our swollen boy
Our precious swollen boy (bang, bang, bang), our precious swollen boy
Looks like the whole Army Corps, kinda wonderin' what for?
Yes, I get that my son's huge, never asked if I could undo
Our lovely swollen boy, yes, he's our swollen boy
Our precious swollen boy, our precious swollen boy

Same stuff that had made him huge, keeps sneakin' off with that space goo
Our cheeky swollen boy, yes, he's our swollen boy
Our precious swollen boy

I only just remembered as I'm submitting this that there was, in fact, a movie called "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid", TBF, though, it came out when I was precisely one year old, so it's not that big of a shock that I forgot its existence.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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 13
 

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