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Song Parodies -> "I Had All This Handled"

Original Song Title:

"I Was Gonna Cancel"

Original Performer:

Kylie Minogue

Parody Song Title:

"I Had All This Handled"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I've written before about the clash between the Silver and Modern Ages of comics, but at the end I hinted that neither would be a fan of Dark Age. Now it's time to bring that to the fore...
I had all this handled then you flew down from the sky
And turned the bad guy into goo before my eyes
I had all this handled, with a neat bow, it was all tied
Now there's nothin' left and that just isn't right
I had all this handled
And then a-you decided to be a huge ass
Can't interrogate him now he's wasted, that's a problem
Can't explain what his plot was, you prat, oh

Just dropped down on his head (hey), turned his ass into paste (uh)
No bomb was to blow, we don't know either way, okay (oh)?
You're not gettin' clout (hey) for the final blow
There was more left to find (yeah), you're not super cool, you're just a
Dope, dope, dope, dope
Dope, dope, dope, dope
Dope, dope, dope, dope
Dope, dope, dope, dope, jerk

I had all this handled, now our PR is a mess
Our new recruit is on a hair-trigger, I guess
I had all this handled, yes, we all know in due time
He will escape and cause more mayhem and death
I had all this handled
You got "too excited"? That's a big "yikes", dude
Look hard in the mirror, is bein' a foe-smearer what you should be?
Think there's some on me, ick, also: ew

Our plan had all these steps (hey) that you just blew away (uh-uh)
Not the protocol (uh) to just pop in to make a stain
I'm regrettin' how (hmm) my praise was all glow (uh)
That interview of mine? Swear you never showed you were a
Dope, dope, dope, dope
Dope, dope, dope, dope
Dope, dope, dope, dope
Dope, dope, dope, dope, jerk

"What's wrong with crushin' the Skull Dude? You all saw him loadin' out
With enough ammo to make rubble out of the Great Wall, no doubt
Sure, now he's nothin' but a puddle, better than next, he's out
All of your steps aren't solvin' the problem but I just did it now"
Man, you're a dunce
Dunce
A total dunce
Dunce

You've not heard what I said (hey), your punch is short-term gain
He was 'bout to gloat 'bout where his minions lay, okay (okay)?
Good guys, we don't flout (yeah) due process, don't go (hey)
These cuffs won't hold that guy (hmm) they'll hold you, no joke, arrest that
Dope, dope, dope, dope
Dope, dope, dope, dope
Dope, dope, dope, dope
Dope, dope, dope, dope, jerk

Note to self: write parody about "deconstructions" that just boil down to "everyone is a murderous asshole, no hope allowed". Unless I've already done that, 2400+ parodies on kinda blurs the memories a bit.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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