Vegan
Vegan
Shut up, you've told me
Vegan, already told me

A fancy rest'rant dinner was the plan, you were enthused
But damn, you soon set my mood to "mad"
'Cause you launched into a snit-fit when we ordered food
I wanted a med-rare steak with some veg too
I knew this was comin', just not the inflection
My dinner choices make you mention, oh

Vegan (vegan), already told me (told me)
In fact, I've been waitin' (waitin') for you to scold me
Vegan (vegan), "It's murder!" I get it (murder)
I like meat, accept it (vegan), come on, just stop, please

Roll my eyes ev'ry time you whine on and explain
Your sheer, utter disdain for me, not right
I'm sorry for how I sound so flippant and harsh
But I'm so sick of this, I've memorised each part
Yellin' at the other tables, what the hell?
Insertin' your rants when you spot a swell meat stew

Vegan (vegan), you love to scold me (scold me)
And anyone askin' (askin') for a lamb chop, geez
Vegan (vegan), that's your way, I get it (your way)
Not mine, just accept it (vegan), my stomach wants meat

Vegan, hate when you're called crazy
But don't you think maybe that you should step back and breathe?
Geez, always gettin' scream-y
At the sight of meat or even the mention, please
You're always waitin' to inject in
Your latest anti-meat invectives
You've promised to keep it in check
But ev'ry meal, you go off again, oh bother

Vegan (vegan), I know, you told me (told me)
Could set a watch by it (by it), now it's ten past "scold me" (oh)
Vegan (vegan), you want me to veg it (want me)
I've tried it, rejected (vegan), it's just not for me (vegan)

Vegan, always actin' "better" (scold me)
Ravin' about your tofu, just tastes like butts (not for me)
Vegan (no pleasure), leave it (not convertin', let it go, vegan)
Vegan, shut your face hole, please (want you to let go)

Vegan (vegan, vegan), you love to scold me (scold me)
It's not just in person (in person, person) also not just me
Vegan (vegan, vegan), please stop with the textin' (stop textin', textin')
And e-mail messages (vegan, vegan), makes me want more meat (I love it)
You can't control me (vegan)
Stop, please