I hear the horns beep, tires screechin', well done
Oh, once again you've gone and pissed off someone
I hear the police alarms
You're gonna be in deep shite
It seems that you drive drunk

Looks like you drive drunk
Although you aren't drunk
No, not a drop drunk all night
Still looks like you drive drunk

I think you broke your headlights
Sure looks like you drive drunk

You're out your mind
Please stay in your lane this time
Drive wild, that's not good
You look like a drunkard, dude
You'll lose your license after I lose my lunch (oh no)
That guy you cut off sure is swearing a bunch (you know)

Do you just ignore all the lights? (yeah)
Not a fan of the way you drive, Mike
That was a red light you drove by (uh huh)
Best kiss your license goodbye

Red, yellow or green, you just don't give a toss
No booze to blame, but you're drivin' like you're sloshed
I can't keep track of your arms
The way they veer left and right
People think you drive drunk

Cops think you drive drunk
Just mad, you're not drunk
You're on the pavement, not right
Sure looks like you are drunk

Another bin, that makes five
That you hit while not drunk

Crud, I hear cops
You drive like you've lost the plot
I ask you, please just stop
I don't want a car chase, clod
This ain't no action film, Mike thinks it is one (oh no)
I'd jump out the window, but that would be dumb (fo' sho')

Pedestrians are scared tonight (yeah)
I'm just glad they're all running inside
They're way out of Mike's way, all right (uh huh)
My life's flashing 'fore my eyes

The way you careen cross the road isn't fun
This ain't a game, there's no high score to beat, bud
I think you've done enough harm
Could you just park on the right
And stop driving so drunk

I hear the police, and I think they have guns
You'll be to blame if I get shot in the bum
Don't want bullets in my arse
So stop the car right now, Mike
Can't believe you're not drunk

You drive like you're drunk
And yet, you're not drunk

You've driven worse than tonight
But it always looks drunk