You think you're hot stuff cause you play a guitar.
Wear a kilt on stage and I'll call you a star.
And you on the drums is your name Keith Moon.
Move to Dublin Ireland you're so out of tune.

Oh, why don't you emcee?
Oh, why don't you emcee?
Why don't you emcee?
You'll wave your pom poms.
I'll drink my Red Stripe.
Tickle piano keys.
I'll play my bagpipe.

Hey Mister golden throat you don't play a thing.
I heard you sing "Danny Boy" have another drink.
I see someone on stage surrounded by smoke.
You call yourself a bass player, I call you a joke.

Oh, now part the Red Sea.
Oh, now part the Red Sea.
Now part the Red Sea.
You've got your cookie crumbs.
I'll drink my Red Stripe.
Tickle piano keys.
I'll play my bagpipe.
I'll play my bagpipe.

Oh, why don't you emcee
Oh, why don't you emcee?
Why don't you emcee?
You'll wave your pom poms.
I'll drink my Red Stripe.
Tickle piano keys.
I'll play my bagpipe.

I'll play my bagpipe.
I'll play my bagpipe.