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Song Parodies -> "I Hate Slow Cars"

Original Song Title:

"I Love This Bar"

Original Performer:

Toby Keith

Parody Song Title:

"I Hate Slow Cars"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Don'tcha just hate being stuck behind a slow car? I know my brother does, and I channeled his frustration into this parody...
Sign says sixty, you drive forty
Can't say it's for safety-y
That's what the limit's there for, dimwit
If you're low on gas, fill it
Going fast won't net you Grand Theft Auto stars
Hmm, hmm, hmm-mmm, hmm, hmm, I ha-ate slow ca-ars

Don't care if you're an old bugger
Or some paranoid L-plate-er
This trip shouldn't be an all-nighter
Makin' it one, old blighter
And there's two of you so cha-anging lanes is barred
Hmm, hmm, hmm-mmm, hmm, hmm, I ha-ate slow ca-ars

Damn these slow cars
All up in my fa-ace
And what annoys me much more
They slow down when turning, mate
That's just too fa-ar, speed up your a-a-a-a-arse
Hmm, hmm, hmm-mmm, hmm, hmm, I ha-ate slow ca-ars

These slow drivers get on my pecs
Clog the road with their anti-ics
Not askin' them to full-on book it
This was covered in the learner's booklet
Five k's below or under the limit's the mark
Hmm, hmm, hmm-mmm, hmm, hmm, I ha-ate slow ca-ars
Come on, move!

Come on, speed up (move it, speed up)
So long I-I-I've wai-aite-ed (too long I've waited)
The radio has stopped its natter
It's actually playing music!

God, I hate slow cars
It ain't just me, ma-ate
There's pissed-off trucks and cars galore
Stuck behind me, not okay
So stop this fa-arce, you damn old fa-a-a-a-art
Hmm, hmm, hmm-mmm, hmm, hmm, and mo-ove your ca-ar
Hmm, hmm, hmm-mmm, hmm, hmm, really hate these slow cars

"K's" is Aussie slang for "kilometers" as in "60 k's per hour".

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - June 05, 2014 - Report this comment
I hate them too. You should start recording so you can make a travel-based CD with all of the song parodies you have about driving it would be a good compilation. This one is a pretty great one to that selection.
Jonathan - June 05, 2014 - Report this comment
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm I loved this one! 5's
John Lomain - June 05, 2014 - Report this comment
Yeah this was good although DKTOS
Abbott Skelding - June 24, 2014 - Report this comment
As much as I don't care for country music, this is the only other Toby Keith song that I know, so at least I had that frame of reference to go with. This was straight forward and to the point...although I am a pretty patient driver (I get more frustrated with stupid drivers rather than slow ones.) This was pretty fun, nice work!
Agrimorfee - June 26, 2014 - Report this comment
Sorta a sleepy-eyed version of "Can't Drive 55" by Sammy Hagar, pretty popular in the US in the 80s...a lot more anger there, maybe more of that here would make this more memorable for me. I knew what the Ks were, don't know what an L-plater is.
Max Power - June 30, 2014 - Report this comment
I know, it's one thing to drive safe but last thing any drivers wanted is having someone blocking the way, messing up the traffic in the process. 555 certainly isn't too slow I hope.
Blaydeman - July 01, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Slow drivers only bother me when they're making the road dangerous for others. I get frustrated, but not irate, so I get why the character in this parody is a little more reserved as opposed to outright nuclear, however, that may not serve the comedy as well.

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