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Song Parodies -> "The Boston Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Toronto Song"

Original Performer:

The Arrogant Worms

Parody Song Title:

"The Boston Song"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I found the original song while I was looking for hockey videos. Before you go thinking it's is typical Toronto-bashing from Montreal or Ottawa, I'll tell you they're from Edmonton. It might not be obvious until the end. As for myself, well, I actually like Boston, and New England as a whole, but its teams are starting to get on my nerves. Just a little. So I'm here to take them down a peg, and hopefully those of you not from there will think this is funny. Anyway, these lyrics are pretty much as dumb and as much of a sweeping generalization as the OS, to which here's the link:
I hate the Prudential, and the Hancock Tower, too.
I hate the Old City Hall and I really hate the New.
The rent's too high and the water's unclean.
And they're way too fond of eating those beans.
And the women are annoying and the men are drunk
and the streets are covered with "wicked pissah" junk!
The subway's noisy and their Mayor's a dork
and deep down, they still wish they were New York!

In Boston! Mass-a-chu-setts!

Y'know, actually, I think I pretty much hate all of Massachusetts!
(Oh, yeah, me too!)

I hate Martha's Vineyard and I hate Cape Cod
and those dimwits who think Carl Yastrzesmki's a god.
I hate Springfield and I hate the Berkshires
and I hate that they drink all that Samuel Adams beer.
I took a trip to Massachusetts
to visit Curt Schilling.
He hit me in the head with his weak fastball
and to re-break his ankle I was willing.
I went to see the Patriots
and told Belichick, "You cheat and you got no guts!"
Yeah, I don't even know how they did it, really.
But it's got an asterisk just the same!

Massachu-woo-woo-woo-setts... sucks!

Yep, actually, now that I think about it
I think I pretty much hate every gosh-darn State in all of New England!
(Oh, yeah, except Connecticut!)
Oh, yeah, I love Connecticut.
Yeah, it's really nice, especially since three of the eight Counties
are still in Yankee territory!
Fairfield, Litchfield and New Haven!

But, I hate New Hampshire "primarily."
They're too involved in deciding the Presidency.
Vermont thinks they're great 'cause their mountains are green
but their people scream like their Governor, Howard Dean.
Rhode Island's home to the Farrelly Bros
who make a bunch of movies that are really gross.
Maine is full of people who say,
"Cahn't get theah from heah!"
(Well, why would we wanna get there from here?)
Ya got me, pal!
Massachusetts is home to the Boston Red Sox
and the Pats, Celtics, Bruins -- they all suck!

And the only really good thing about the State of Connecticut
is that it's right next to us!

'Cause New York and New Jersey... they don't suck!

But Ranger fans doooo!
Out of deference to he who brought us together, I did not mention Worcester.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Invisible Boy - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment
OK...I grew-up in Boston, went to college there and now I live in NH. I guess you got me on this one. Don't know the OS but your "Boston/NE references are on the money, and sadly, mostly true. So, they had me laughing. I can tell you've spent some time around here. I must admit we love the attention we get every 4 years. I'm in the largest city in the state (less than 100K population) and the candidates have been practically living here for the last month or so. You can't walk through downtown without tripping over one of them. After next Tuesday we won't see any of them again. Anyway, next time you come up here to go skiing or leaf-peeping or whatever, stop by and I'll buy you a beeah. Got to go...John Edwards is at the door and he wants to shovel my driveway.
alvin - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment
nice bit o' bashin'
Boston does suck... - January 19, 2008 - Report this comment
...but so does New Jersey, sad to say. Honestly, how can you stand to live in that hellhole?

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