I just looked through your rough draft for you
Gotta say, guy, there's a lot of parts
It needs some work
The main character is quite the jerk

He doesn't have any flaws to be found
Such a Mary Sue, fix that now
That's not all, though
More flaws you should know

The plot is so threadbare that I can't describe it
Didn't anyone ever tell you "show, don't tell"?
Askin' me where you should improve, mate
All of it needs to go-o-o
Cause it stinks

Listen bro, stories need structure, you can't free-flow
Yours has no beginning, middle or end, bud
Plot-holes so big, more like a plot-abyss
It's a bad sto-ory, buddy, rewrite it

You ever passed middle school English, did you?
You ask how I guessed, I'm no big sleuth
And you'd be right
It's just your grammar is utter shite
Oh, oh, oh-oh

Focus jumps to and fro, it's like a subplot scatter
And I don't know which part is worse about the end
The fact that it was all a dream
Or the fact it stops there, both blo-o-ow
Whole thing stinks

Dream could explain why there's no kind of logic flow
But that's reachin', it still lacks a denouement
Stops in its tracks with that "I woke up" shit
It's a bad sto-ory, buddy, redo it
Not a comedy, so what's with the banana peels?
The love int'rest is dull, not gettin' fee-eels
Romance is lame, not Twilight-bad but still shit
It's a bad sto-ory, buddy, please fix it

Oh oh-oh

Hurt when I was readin'
Ponderin' if somethin' good was comin' around
The plot's dull as dog leavin's
There's not a shred of tension to be found
Yes, it stinks

Things happen blandly, don't care if whatshisname croaks
Took me three weeks to get through it, damn, it sucks
Write poems instead, you can write anything
Critics lap it up, books get more scrutiny, yes
Can't recall what I read, it was that bland and boring, bro
You'd be screwed if to publishers you go
The whole book is crap, all twenty-four pages
It's a bad sto-ory, buddy, just bu-urn it

Oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh

No, I won't suffer one more draft from you