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Song Parodies -> "Playing Cards"

Original Song Title:

"Chasing Cars"

Original Performer:

Snow Patrol

Parody Song Title:

"Playing Cards"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Dude can't play poker to save his life. Kinda like me, except I don't play it as much...nor do I bet most of my shit on my shit abilities...
I can't lose all
Of my things
That would blow
All I need
Is a king
Of spades or clubs

When I play here
Each time I play here
I lose more tchotchkes, I gotta say it hurts

I don't quite know
How to play
Poker, geez
Is flush worth
More than full house?
I kinda suck

Shouldn't play here
I shouldn't play here
Bet too much money, boy, does my wallet hurt
I shouldn't feel bold
Because when I don't fold
I get my arse kicked by your four of a kind

I waste time
Playing cards
No benefit
Can we just play
"Go Fish" now, please?
Know how that goes

I still play here
Somehow still play here
Though you all beat me without a sweat, you jerks
Know when I should fold
But my brain becomes mould
Gets over-confident from that pair of fives
All of my cash
All my expensive stuff
Lost here to all of you guys, takin' stuff from me
Simply not fair
Should know when you call my cell
To invite me to poker night, can't say no at all

Hate to play here
But I'll still play here
Cause I'm just too cheap to pay for tea, it works

I vaguely remember attempting a parody of this song years ago. Can't remember what my original title was, but it's still surprising it took me this long to do it at all. Hell, this song came out the same year I started writing these things, you'd think I would've done it then. Nope, too busy foolishly parodying way too many rap songs for my skill level (that number being "any at all").

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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E.S. Blofeld - August 11, 2017 - Report this comment
As always, conqueror, your parodies are original, funny, and overall great to read! 555
Peter Andersson - August 12, 2017 - Report this comment
Tchotchkes means (here) money?
bobpiecheese - August 12, 2017 - Report this comment
Peter: No, I still meant the original meaning of a trinket, hence the lines "I can't lose all of my things" and "All of my cash, all my expensive stuff, lost here to all of you guys, takin' stuff from me". I admit I could've been clearer on that front, though.

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