Watchin' TV where couples are odd
One guy's a doof and one's neurotic to a fault
I know you're meant to look at the nerd and then hate him
That's a bit strong, so maybe not outright "hate" him
But honestly? Always felt I was that guy, I'll tell you
What it feels like bein' Bert

Most of you may connect with Ernie
Not that smart or neat, but still fun and happy
Lovin' all the jokes he's makin'
Laughin' at Bert's complete frustration
And the uptight one is such a dweeb
But a mirror's all I see

Do you know what it feels like bein' Bert?
Do you know what it feels like in this world
Bein' Bert?

"Oh, that stuck up lame-o is so nerdy
A stick fills his butt, how dare he be so jerky?"
But I'd be the one to blow
When my collection would get thrown
Out of order, somehow he's the prick
It's a thing I plain don't get

I sure know what it feels like bein' Bert
I sure know what it feels like in this world
Bein' Bert
Man, I know what it feels like bein' Bert
Man, I know what it feels like in this world
What it feels like bein' Bert

Whether humans or kids' puppets
It's an old trope, wish folks would stop it
Just because a grin is rare to see
They're the joke's butt ev'ry week?

Do you know what it feels like bein' Bert?
Do you know what it feels like in this world
Bein' Bert?
Boy, I know what it feels like bein' Bert
Boy, I know what it feels like in this world
Bein' Bert
In this world
Do you know, do you know
Do you know what it feels like bein' Bert?
What it feels like in this world?