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Song Parodies -> "Equestrian Life"

Original Song Title:

"American Life"

Original Performer:

Madonna

Parody Song Title:

"Equestrian Life"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

You ever have that moment where you're watching one of your favourite shows and then realise that some of it doesn't make that much sense? This dude has that feel during his latest pony fix...
Ev'rybody has a name
That tells who they are
Is that destined fate
Somethin' written in the stars?

It's meant to sell kids toys
So there's no proper worth
In makin' any sense
In the world-buildin', yet
It occupies my thoughts
I doubt that it'll stop
If I had gone through life as "Pat Rody"
Then I would think that my mum had done weed

But that's not the only part
That seems odd to me
It's their society
With no hands or digits
Can't work, they pay with bits
But where's the storage space?
Cause I don't see no type of purse, you see
You might see saddles, fine (oh-oh-oh), so rare a scene

Equestrian life (Equestrian life)
I've watched these Equestrian scenes (Equestrian scenes)
And though I laugh with much glee
I'll still riff what I see (Equestrian life)

I wonder how they lift
The items that they want
That might be pretty hard
For those non-handed ones
Cause if they lack a horn
To magic all their chores
Then I think that they might be up shit creek
And I doubt they can hide things up their sleeves

I know I seem pretty lame
Thinkin' 'bout this hard
But how can they take
Holdin' things with their mouth parts?

Equestrian life (Equestrian life)
Watched lots of Equestrian scenes (Equestrian scenes)
And though I cheer constantly
I'll still mock what I see (Equestrian life)
Equestrian life

I might sound real annoyed
Might sound like a jerk
Might sound like a pest
Might seem like a wreck
Might seem rather dense
Might look like my head
Ain't quite screwed tightly on
Stuff it

This whole scratchin'-my-head game
You take it too hard
Insultin' my brain
Is just takin' it too far
Ah-ah, stuff it
Ah-ah, stuff it
Ah-ah, stuff it
Ah-ah, stuff it

They sleep in beds, that's funny, they shouldn't be that comfy
My quadrupedal buddies live the oddest kind of life
Wait, they don't have computers and use records for their music
But huge speakers? So confusin', it's the oddest kind of life
I guess two-thirds of 'em writin' with their teeth would be invitin'
Chances that they've good handwritin', still the oddest kind of life
I know that it's a common trope to never show a bathroom, though
The plumbin' they have is unknown, the oddest kind of life
I'm no expert cartoon examiner, I just watch 'em for kicks
But man, I wish the characters' ages weren't vague as mist
They're foolish like teenagers, caught up in their angst and strife
But sometimes they act like adults, in charge of their own life
One runs their own business, another eschews
That for a whole farm (though her bro helps too)
I still love to watch these Equestrian scenes
All these thoughts on my mind don't wreck the whole show for me

I don't nitpick ev'ry frame (Equestrian life)
Like some kind of douchey arse (E-Equestrian scenes)
I'm not after Youtube fame (Equestrian life)
No sin counter here by far (E-Equestrian scenes)
Just confused by what I've raised

Equestrian life
E-Equestrian scenes
Equestrian life
E-Equestrian scenes
Equestrian life
E-Equestrian scenes

For those who expected this to involve actual equestrian sports...I am sorry. For those who decide to look up this song out of sheer curiosity...I am extremely sorry. No-one should have to listen to Madonna rapping.

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