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Song Parodies -> "Dungeon Skip"

Original Song Title:

"London Bridge"

Original Performer:

Fergie

Parody Song Title:

"Dungeon Skip"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I've done a few parodies about Dungeons and Dragons, but I've been sticking to the player side because that's what I'm familiar with. Let's flip the perspective, shall we?
Too quick (too quick, too quick)
Too quick (too quick, too quick)
Too quick (too quick, too quick), not thinkin' 'bout this
Too quick (too quick, too quick), oh!
Done too early, uh
I'm so pissed, 'cause this blows
Early birds make me angry (c'mon)

I worked on this layout three whole nights (too quick)
D&D takes a whole lot of my time (too quick)
Hoped to see thinkin' before each thrown die (too quick)
That "early bird" nonsense shouldn't apply (too quick), whoo
While you sit there crackin' your jokes (too quick)
Blast through maps, killin' all my hopes (too quick)
That you'll try brainy tactics for once, that's a "no" (too quick)
Tankin' the traps? That doesn't count for me, you know, oh (too quick)

How come ev'ry time you come around
You dungeon, dungeon skip? Makin' me frown like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, breakin' walls down like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, bringin' me down like
How come ev'ry time you come around
You dungeon, dungeon skip? Makin' me frown like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, smashin' doors down like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, bringin' me down like

As the dice start rollin', magic spells you're throwin'
In an effort to nuke the whole room (too quick)

It's so rude to not talk and just shoot
'Cause not ev'ry NPC's out to kill you (what's your deal)
I don't wanna put my foot down, might have to (ooh, oh)
When the next travellin' salesman's marked for loot
Look, there's wantin' a faster pace (too quick)
But you can't speedrun a damn tabletop game (too quick)
You've got ingenuity, that's great (too quick)
But your strats...are just a pain (whoo!)

How come ev'ry time you come around
You dungeon, dungeon skip? Makin' me frown like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, blowin' up towns like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, bringin' me down like
How come ev'ry time you come around
You dungeon, dungeon skip? Makin' me frown like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, ignite the ground like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, bringin' me down like

Ah (da-da-da-da-da)
Da-da-da-da (da-da-da-da-da)
Do-do-do (sometimes I wonder why I even bring my dice), too quick
Do-do-do (when you cut the playtime in half near ev'ry time), too quick
Ah (da-da-da-da-da)
Da-da-da-da (da-da-da-da-da)
Do-do-do (spendin' so many nights paintin' my minis nice), too quick
Do-do-do (not placed for a long time all because of you guys), too quick
Another FML
Uh (whoo), make me feel so low, yeah
May be my fault, though (uh)

When you first cheesed a boss, I grinned wide (too quick)
Was so pleased 'bout your methods at the time (too quick)
Looked like genius murder-hobos, right (too quick)
Rewarded all of that with huge loot piles (too quick), whoo
Went a bit too far, now I know (too quick)
And your strats shifted quick like so (too quick)
I'm thinkin' maybe after the lich here is toast (too quick)
Should take a break here before all the fun is blown (too quick)

How come ev'ry time you come around
You dungeon, dungeon skip? Makin' me frown like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, bringin' forts down like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, bringin' me down like
How come ev'ry time you come around
You dungeon, dungeon skip? Makin' me frown like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, nukin' the towns like
Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, bringin' me down like

Oh, save me, ah-ah (yeah)
You can DM, takin' over, yeah, yeah
I'll attack, use your strats, boys
Yeah, let's go, ah

I wish I could remember what my initial reaction to this song was all those years ago. Pretty sure it was in the ballpark of "oh god someone kill me", but now? I dunno, I can really feel the vibe it's going for, although Fergie's verses definitely come off as proto-Iggy Azalea in parts, if you catch my drift.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

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