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Song Parodies -> "Excuse Yourself"

Original Song Title:

"Lose Yourself"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Excuse Yourself"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

1700TH PARODY, Y'ALL! And as is my tradition, I have taken a song I parodied back when I was stupid and inexperienced and re-parody along a vaguely similar topic. Last time I did another stupid poop parody. Because 14-year-olds are not known for their high level of wit. This time, let's excuse my poor manners by making a whole parody about good manners!
Look, if you hacked one cough inside my community
You'll see ev'rything and ev'ryone trip and halt movement
Don't get banished, quick, say sorry for it, go

A cough's so messy, clean freaks are so petty
No option here for hatchets to bury, charge is heavy
It's worthless to blame the service dude who dropped confetti
Like bombs, cause what had set off their frettin'
Was your nose now, was blown loud so no crowd
Could hope to blank out ev'ry wet, gross-ass sound
They know you now, ev'ryone furrows their brow
The cops run out, handcuffs on you now
That smacks of insanity, no real morality, bro
This "nose splatter equals the worst matter"? Weak joke
Real calamity? No, it's totality: gross
It's so sad that these dopes think that matters (it don't)
Why'd I bracket that? So these folks can't up and throw
A fit, faux grammar's also their foe, mad as shit
That's why I carry this tome for formality
Gotta keep track of their bogus rules, hope I can crack it

You should excuse yourself if you have fits
Of sneezin' or wheezin' or they will never let you go (go)
It only takes one cough or snot drip for them to blow
This whole community wants all to be bright white (so)
You should excuse yourself if you have fits
Of hackin' or yackin' half of your lungs up in one go (go)
These people take one cough as plottin' to overthrow
Their whole community which must remain bright white (so)
You'd better

My soul is aching cause my balls need a scraping
What, TMI? Dude, it's grating, can't scratch shit
If I move forward t'wards my bollocks
The hordes will find it awful, will get me barred from
Close friends' homes, shoppin' malls, showrooms and others
Though one could offer to only go on with
Things gross at home, stop it, won't work, those folks?
Their probe of the homes: constant, bro, they know awfulness flows
When nobody could know what goes on, shit
Should go home pretty soon, though, I know somethin'
Has gone and broken, that so won't go, nothin'
Gets those in charge pissed off more than homes bustin'
They'll move cops in to crack domes when homes
Get so close to no dustin', blows might grow coughin'
By four percent, more and you won't be bored, cause ya
Will get chain-ganged for the rest of your long charter, charter

You should excuse yourself if you have fits
Of coughin' and droppin' your tissues on the ground like so (so)
It only takes one drop of somethin' for them to blow
This whole community wants all to be bright white (so)
You should excuse yourself if you have fits
Of blowin' your nose when your shirt's a diff'rent shade, you know (so)
These people take one drop of snot as a threat, no joke
This whole community wants to remain bright white (so)
You'd better

Hear you say "If you hate this dirtproof place
Why not put your friggin' shoes on and scoot off, mate?"
You're not crazy, want to be skippin' town soon, poor brain
Might just soon pop and leak out, nose goo, cause stains
As I lay dyin', I'd stay fightin' these crazed wipers
Of the streets so that it's stayin' a white brighter
Than a snowman, I think that I've kinda
Dodged your "why" because I really like to
Lie back and fantasise 'bout wild types o'
Sights cause I can't really plan to just pack my crap, no right liar
May sound confusin', don't lack the desire
To move outright, cause my mind gets worked hard
Always gettin' even harder tryna keep up makin' my clean stuff neater, what a
Lotta bullshit, riskin' a collar by the evil coppers
Sure, I wanna scarper, be a goner, but what's a leavin' stopper:
Make ev'ry spot clean ev'ry day, if it's not got sparkles, see
Can't avoid goin' to jail, can't stop
No time to make a plot when I've gotta scrape my lot
Can't miss any speck of dirt under my Honda, hate this job
I won't stop you if you make a plot to go
If you want to throw your mate a shot
To hitch a ride with your lot, feet, fail you not
Drag me out this crazy-ass community, rope me off

You should excuse yourself from this mad shit
It's awful and rotten despite the spic-an'-span approach (no)
It only takes one cough or blood drip for them to blow
This whole community wants all to be bright white (so)
You should excuse yourself from this mad shit
Restrain me with chains, please, my paranoia halts me so (so)
These people take one cough as all they need to jail-throw
Their whole community so it remains bright white (so)
You'd better

Nice to clean ev'rything, they go way too far, man

Anyone ever read that "Bootleg" book where the government outlawed chocolate and other such tasty things? That was kinda on my mind here, except I don't think anyone would set up a speakeasy for the sole purpose of sneezing on the walls and nut-scratching.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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qwerty - August 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Not a single response to this monumental effort in three days?? Not a single score or comment? No wonder this place is thriving!! Here's 555 to start. Wish I could give you five more
Agrimorfee - August 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Bumping to read later and for all to enjoy. Sorry this didn't come up in my radar. Will post full comments later, looks REALLY good.

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