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Song Parodies -> "Just Eat It (1000th Parody Rewrite)"

Original Song Title:

"Just Lose It"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Just Eat It (1000th Parody Rewrite)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

1000TH PARODY, Y'ALL! Holy crap, I finally got a Malcolm! And as is my tradition, I have taken a song I parodied back when I was stupid and inexperienced and re-parody along a vaguely similar topic. For this momentous occasion, I'm re-parodying the first song I ever parodied (yeah, it's not the first parody on my author page, blame author-name-capitalisation-resubmission shenanigans). I'm keeping the title, but a different take on it: less "eating all the things", more "homage to Weird Al...with a twist"
Chow down now
Chow down now
Chow down now
Chow, don't spray (don't spray)
Don't throw that (that, that) carrot stick (stick, stick)
You're a brat (brat, brat), little shit (wooooah!) (shit)
Stop actin' up as if you were still four
Cause you're not four, no, you're not four
Stop throwin' all your food on the damn floor
I said're thirty-nine

You're really too picky with your snacks
I can't stand when you pull this crap
You're a full-grown man who is head of state
Of this fledglin' nation, eat your bacon
AH AH AH AH AH, don't throw that
Cutlery are tools and not your toys
I know that you like the loud clatterin' noise
But the French ambassador's really annoyed
"You are a butt"? Insightful
You're more the butt-ish one, great, there I go
Stoopin' to your level, save me quick-like
I'm beggin', somebody tag me before I throw knives
Wish I had been warned when I signed
Up as King's Taste-Tester, that I
Would be pickin' food off the floor
Cause he won't close his mouth hole
Spittin' out food, it's really gross
He's never like this before subjects
When it comes to food, food, he's deranged *splat*
Welp, there's a brand new mess
Least this time it wasn't on his wife's dress

Now sir, stop bein' a prat, don't be mad
Swallow for once, man
What you've been served, jerk, jerk, jerk
No, don't practice your serve
Stop whinin', eat it (WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH)
Just eat it (WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH)
It's tasty (WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH)
Don't brain me (WAH, WAH)
With grapes, please save me (WAH, WAH)

It's Friday, that's not my day
Cause the huge feast's gonna end up as waste
Though it may sound lame, the law says "Delay
Feedin' who's not the King, okay?"
Not a lot of leeway, no-one gets to eat steak
And I'm stuck browbeatin' King Joe
Into not up and throwin' his potatoes
All around the room while screamin' "It's been poisoned!"
I know you're King, I don't wanna sound like a jerk
Cause I know the dungeons here need a little work
But you've gotta bloody stop, there's no poison there
Can trust me, would've thrown it right out (yeah)
I'm your taste-tester, it's all right
"No! It's got arsenic inside!"
Great (WAH, WAH) stuck in your mind
It's no lie, food's alright, just try

Now sir, stop bein' a twat, don't get mad
Eat this for once, man
I don't deserve jerks, jerks jerks
Wearin' what they've been served
Stop whinin', eat it (WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH)
Just eat it (WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH)
It's tasty (WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH)
Don't brain me (WAH, WAH)
With steak, please save me (WAH, WAH)

Each damn day, I'm so sick of
His "majesty" throwin' lots of tantrums
Just for once, I'd like him to taste it
Instead of screamin' WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH
So far, I have managed my temper
Hopin' one day that the bastard pays me
He says "One day, boy, when I'm feelin' safe
Cause I still think that gravy boat has been poisoned"
When he talks like that, he deserves the crown
Guess he regresses when hungry now
He still insists that I want him down
I've got the motive given how I go through hell
Cause it's total insanity, his eatin' habits
I'm tempted to find a rattle for this grown man
Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger
I've eaten ev'rythin' you have to eat so bloody eat it, buddy
Sorry (sir), sorry (sir)
I can calm down quickly in a hurry (what?)
Wrap's served, wine's served, chicken's served, snack's served
Roll's served, more's served, I've eaten all served
So don't throw it all on the damn floor
Just try it for once, sure you won't abhor
Start eatin', taste's appealin', don't go WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH
With no reason

Please sir, just have one small snack, don't be mad
It won't kill you, man
Eat what you're served, sir, sir, sir
I promise it's superb
Stop whinin', eat it (WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH)
Just eat it (WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH)
It's tasty (WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH)
Don't brain me (WAH, WAH)
With kale, please save me (WAH, WAH)

Nom-nom-nom, eat that gravy
Nom-nom-nom, like that gravy?
Well, I poisoned that gravy
I've built up an immunity, buddy, buddy

As with my other milestone-celebration re-parodies, I don't really suggest clicking the above link, it's embarrassing how bad I was eleven years ago at the tender age of 14. Karaoke revolution challenge resumes tomorrow!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peter Andersson - June 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Godspeed to good speed for your next milestone!
Rob Arndt - June 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Congrats! 555 for 1000 ;-)
TJC - June 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Wow--an epic parody! I was unfamiliar with the OS but on YouTubing it, discovered Eminem's not only a wordsmith but friggin' hilarious! Congrats on your 'Malcolm'!
Callmelennie - June 21, 2016 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I'll just assume you respected the occasion of your first Malcolm to do a first rate job, so 555's
bobpiecheese - June 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks for all the comments, guys!
John Lomain - June 22, 2016 - Report this comment
Congrats, DKTOS but good parody

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