What's that gleam?
Oh, it's just a sparkling vampire
...hang on, what?
Oh
My God

Have you ever had a book that read like real bad fanfiction?
I have, it is called Twilight and some more books after it
New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, that's what they're called
That's not the point, the point is that they have left me apalled
This girl named Bella Swan, very whiny and she falls for Edward
And he's so dazzling and sparkling, literally, I'm not kidding
Saves her from death, no-one sees 'em, how that works I'm just not seein'
And he's a vampire, a weird one, he's breakin' vampire tradition
See him in mirrors, has no fangs and when he's hit by sunlight
He isn't crum-ba-ling, he just glimmers - that is just shite
Look at them now, they're kissin' and it makes her pass out
Friggin' Meyer, she made vampires look so ridiculous, wow!

I'm sorry Twihards
I never meant to hurt you
Well, maybe just a bit but only because
I'm bloody sick of Twilight (it's a crime)
I said, I'm sorry Twihards
I sorta meant to hurt you
The books just damn screwed up vampires
So that's why I'm bloody sick of Twilight - ha!

I've got more bones to pick with this dogshit, but I'll stick to the really big picks
So before you get pissed off with this par'dy and spam it I'ma expose it:
It's Jacob Black's terrible story
Alternate love int'rest that turned into a vi-o-lent freak
He is a werewolf - though he ain't the kind that turns with the moon -
Close friends with Bella, 'round when Edward wants to save her from doom
And he splits - but Bella wants him back cuz he wants to die
(That's Edward, he sparkles in public to commit suicide)
Then what of Jacob? Well, he forces himself on Bella, right?
Even though that's friggin' rape, BELLA STARTS LIKING IT, shite!
To go from "funny guy" to "mad abusing jerk" though Edward makes that shtick work
What's the fecking diff'rence? Well, the latter wants to chew on her throat!
You might think THAT'S stupid, I'm afraid it gets worse
Cuz the dumbest shit is when Jacob imprints on Swan's unborn girl
(What is imprinting? Well, it's kinda like "love at fist sight")
What the crap? That is the most retarded thing in this shite

I'm sorry Twihards
I know this may offend you
That is what I'm trying to do
Because I am bloody sick of Twilight - yes I am
I said, I'm sorry Twihards
I've got one more verse to do
And it's the biggest reason why
I'm completely bloody sick of Twilight

Now I would never diss a book series just to get recognition
Take a second to read exactly why this crapfest I'm dissin'
Just think of RPattz's* position, just try to envision
Listenin' to your fangirls asking if their necks can get bitten
Bitchin' if someone says that they don't like the books, then attackin'
Goin' from simple punch-and-kickin' to an attempt at throat slashin'
I know I read these tales on the net, so they may have been made up
And not true, but if that's so, what about the pics of the scars that they took?**
Was that the reaction that your expecting to it, Meyer?
All of your fangirls making death threats, that what you wanted, Meyer?
And guess what, it's gettin' crazy now, with the new film coming sooner
And the craze is growin' so damn quick, I am afraid of November
And Twihards if you hate me now, think I'm jealous of Edward's looks
And I won't get a girl, and I am a secret fan of the books
See, that's what gets me the most, is you all just can't get along
You might be wrong! Keep tellin' yoursleves that that is "true love"
But how dare you accuse me of things that just have no real basis
Son of a bitch! Your "arguments" are total, absolute shit!
And if you ignore this song, and you heap lots of spam on me?
Well guess what, I don't care, I'll be laughing, you'll see!!

I'm sorry Twihards
Sorry I insulted you
I've got my fingers crossed, my bad
It's cuz I am bloody sick of Twilight - can't deny
I said, I'm sorry Twihards
Will this message get to you?
I doubt it will, and I know why
It's why I am bloody sick of Twilight