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Song Parodies -> "Professor X Gon' Give It to Ya"

Original Song Title:

"X Gon' Give It to Ya"

Original Performer:

DMX

Parody Song Title:

"Professor X Gon' Give It to Ya"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines are so confusing.
Arf, arf
Yeah, uh, yeah, yeah, uh
"To me, my X-Men!
A plot's been devised by Magneto
For this, you have been trained, go save the world
I'll be here thinkin' (be here thinkin')
I'll be here thinkin' (sittin')
I'll be here thinkin' (sittin')
I'll be here thinkin' (sittin')"

X gon' give it to ya (what?)
Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, home meant for the X-Men, hear a (uh)
Knock-knock on your own front door, reveal
The headmaster, rollin' upon his wheels
You're shocked that your kid's a mutant (ooh)
But he's got such a good heart that he'll calm your paranoia without power-usin' (yeah)
That's right, he's so telepathic (yeah)
Could change your mind without breakin' sweat (uh, uh, uh)
That would prove the history (what?)
Of hate and prejudice aimed at his people, won't give that a victory (yeah)
Your son or daughter's got a power, could end up with lives saved (uh, uh) (what?)
Before that, need their mind trained (focused)
So send 'em down (down) to his school and you'll see (uh)
That Charles is the one to help your kid succeed
Don't freak (c'mon) at the way he talks in your head
Just a small display of what his brain can accomplish

Given name is Charles, on his chair he rolls
Villains wanna stop all of his goals (what?)
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya
X gon' give it to ya, he gon' give it to ya
Psychic powers 'cause why else is he bald?
Where that trope comes from, nobody knows
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya

At times he can get kinda creepy (yeah)
For someone with a single power, behind that brow is a mind real freaky (uh-huh)
Can enhance it with that huge gadget (yeah)
Cerebro, that's bad when it's ill-handed (yeah)
Check his full moveset (what?)
Not just mind readin', can manipulate your whole brain as you use it (uh, uh)
Edit mem'ries, block 'em off too (uh, uh, uh, uh)
Straight force on unconsciousness when pain just won't do
Good intentions, no jokin' (what?)
And while he does try his best to not slip, there's still a lot of commotion
He's been at this game for reams of years (what?)
Not a lot of progress shown, I fear (what?)
He puts in work takin' care of the kids (uh)
And I can't just dismiss that what's shit (uh-huh)
Is the status quo, real bollocks
They can't print equality, damn it

But I think when Charles eases the control
That is super wrong, all should be gold (what?)
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya (c'mon)
Givin' all he's got, on his chair, he rolls
Hope the mutant's lot no longer blows (c'mon)
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya

Ayo, where's his fam'ly at?
Not anywhere too close, hopefully, 'cause a chunk of 'em turned out bad (ooh)
His stepbrother won't stop (what?)
He's a real Juggernaut (what?)
Sister's Cassandra Nova (yeah)
Killed many down in Genosha (c'mon)
His son Legion's not that evil, no
Just got powers that drown the hero, that's a bogus deal (uh, uh, uh)

Fancy chair he's got, either when it rolls
Or it straight-up floats, gold chair, that's goals (c'mon)
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya (c'mon)
Given name is Charles, never gonna fall
Don't bring up Onslaught, god, that was balls (c'mon)
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya (c'mon)
The point is that Charles has a noble goal
Hope he never stops goin' for broke (c'mon)
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya
X gon' give it to ya (uh), he gon' give it to ya (c'mon)

C'mon
Uh, uh, c'mon

Things I didn't have room for: the fact that he got in the wheelchair because an alien named Lucifer dropped a rock on him, his creepy crush on Jean Grey (a teenager at the time...yeuch), his involvement in the Illumanit, probably a million other things because he's been around since the goddamn 60's.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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