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Song Parodies -> "Adamantium Jerk"

Original Song Title:

"All-American Girl"

Original Performer:

Carrie Underwood

Parody Song Title:

"Adamantium Jerk"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Sometimes a character you don't like gets the spotlight. In Wolverine's case, that tends to be all of the friggin' spotlight. Enjoy! Unless you're a die-hard Wolverine fan without a sense of humour about it, I guess,
Yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah, yeah

He's the guy o-on 'bout six tea-eams
Wolverine has many a fa-angirl a-and bo-o-o-o-oy
But that has me facepalmi-in'
This antisocial pri-ick, he gets plu-ush to-o-o-oys?
And that fi-irst and fourth line are so contradict'ry-y
I don't find him that grea-eat
Yes, I admi-it, I find him to be overrate-ed
And I will explai-ain, man

Wow, three cla-aws between his fingers
And he's famous throu-oughout the wo-orld
He's an arse, I do-on't long to-o see any more of that over-used
Made of adamantiu-um je-e-e-erk

Can't he u-use a razo-or?
Or would that stop him from lookin' tough a-and ha-a-a-a-a-ard?
I'm well aware he's good at ki-ickin' asse-es
That alone doesn't make a good chara-acte-e-e-er
Ravin' fans are like "What's your proble-em?
He's good friends with Kitty Pry-yde!"
One good deed doesn't absolve hi-is douchine-ess
It's a tad bit creepy besi-ides, bub

Wow, he's go-ot a healin' factor
Such an inconsi-istent powe-er
Such an arse, I'm so-o sick o-of that little anger-filled, oderous
Mutant douche Canadia-an

"What a-about the movies? Wolverine's played by an Aussie, you kno-ow!"
I say he's still a fri-iggin' screentime ho-og
Why can't Storm be the star of the sho-ow?
Nope, I get stuck with the-e troubled bad-boy dou-ou-ouche
Oh, must be better applications for adamantiu-um

Wow, givi-in' Cyclops the finger
By usin' his cla-aws, then he smi-irks
What an a-a-a-arse, I'd lo-ove to u-use a big nuke to wipe the smirk off that
Waste-of-adamantiu-um je-e-erk
Hate that adamantium je-e-e-erk

TBH, I don't hate Wolverine. I just don't give a crap about him. And yet he's all over the damn place. Kinda like country music in that respect.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Look It Up - January 06, 2015 - Report this comment
This is known as "Wolverine Publicity" over at TV Tropes.
Jonathan - January 06, 2015 - Report this comment
well... I'm more of an "Iron Man" fan anyway! 5's
Blaydeman - January 21, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This was a fun little rant about almost a universally loved character. (It intrigues me that you don't like him this much.) I had a great time reading this and singing along to it. You nailed the main hook of the song and every time I got there it made me laugh and smile because it was so perfect. I like Wolverine and his film incarnation as well, but I agree he's kind of an a'hole sometime, but it's charming in a way I can't really explain. But you can't deny he's a BAMF. 555 pounds of adamantium for you.
Matthias - January 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Wolverine is great! I liked this parody though because you're open to your own opinion but I love this guy! He's so bad-ass!
Rob Arndt - January 21, 2015 - Report this comment
555, but as a Marvel fan find The Avengers far superior to the X-Men franchise. When I saw this title, I thought you were making fun of Captain America due to his Vibranium-Adamantium shield! Security Code for this is XPG for X-Pig!!!
Max Power - January 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Godzilla is kinda the same way when it comes to monster movies, that guy will make an appearance no matter what.
Abbott Skelding - January 27, 2015 - Report this comment
Great title/hook sub. Although, as someone who isn't a big fan of superhero movies and the like, it didn't really have the emotional connection with me as it did with everyone else. Nicely done, but most of it was lost on me.
Agrimorfee - January 29, 2015 - Report this comment
This worked well because you used your knowledge of the character in addition to ranting, plus you added comedy with that ridiculous sustained note in the verses.

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