Action star, that I'm not, skill ain't growin'
Can't hit you, tried a few kicks, I blew it
You saw that, my shoe got flung off and hit that guy's ear
He's gonna kick my arse, kick my arse, buddy
I can't do any of that taekwondo stuff
Watch me, dude, I'm only gonna fall on my butt
So if you could walk up, calm this dude down kinda quickly
'Fore he kicks my arse, I can't spar, buddy

Awful fighter, awful, awful fighter
I'm an awful fighter, oh, awful fighter, oh
I'm an awful fighter, buddy
True, true-true kung-fu, -fu-fu dunce
Awful fighter, awful fighter, awful fighter (awful fighter)

I can't throw a punch, I-I
Fail at all martial a-a-arts
When I try to duck, I-I
Fall right down on my a-a-arse (dude)
Blood will be flowin' (dude), I won't be harmin' (dude)
Cause I am really (dude) an awful fighter

Missin' ev'ry punch, I-I
Hurt the air more than a-a-arms
Made it clear I suck, I-I
Will need help to depa-a-art (dude)
Get me to safety (dude), I can't act bravely (dude)
The world knows I'm an (dude) awful fighter

Help me, bro, this ain't Karate Kid or somethin'
I'm just a newb, haven't been trained in kickin' buttocks
I know I'm only gonna hurt me and hurt hard
Cause I'm so clumsy, fail so hard I'll kick my own arse, buddy
Limbs will flop so much you'd think they were rubber
My teeth will fly then I'll get tossed into the gutter
Save me, maybe, if you wanna
Don't just watch like it's a wrestlin' pay-per-view, that's just rude, buddy

Awful fighter, awful, awful fighter
I'm an awful fighter, oh, awful fighter, oh
I'm an awful fighter, buddy
Fists, fists-fists flung, hit, hit-hit none
Awful fighter, awful fighter, awful fighter (awful fighter)

Can't pick somethin' up, I-I
Know that I'll only dro-o-op
It and then get punched, I-I
Have gone through this a lo-o-ot (dude)
I won't be growin' (dude), new skills, I'm harmless (dude)
Because I'm kinda (dude) an awful fighter

Out of shape so much, I-I
Can barely even wa-a-alk
Cause I'm just a lump, I-I
Can't even fight a ro-o-ock (dude)
No, I'm not lazy (dude), well, okay, mabye (dude)
But I am still an (dude) awful fighter

It isn't like I picked a fight with this je-e-erk
(Awful fighter, awful fighter, awful fighter, awful fighter)
Yeah
I can't fight, you douche, at fightin' games, I'm even worse
So don't stand there, you dope, du-u-u-ude

Awful fighter, awful, awful fighter
I'm an awful fighter, oh, awful fighter, oh
I'm an awful fighter, buddy
Re-, re-results: nil, nil-nil one
Awful fighter, awful fighter, awful fighter (awful fighter)

Made it clear I suck, I-I
Won't survive in this ba-a-ar
Why'd you make me flunk? I-I
Said I'm not up to pa-a-ar (dude)
You made me show it (dude), my shoe came off an' (dude)
Hit that mean, beefy (dude) non-awful fighter

Help is what I want, I-I
Will get smashed to a pu-u-ulp
Don't stand there, you schmuck, I-I
Don't want a busted sku-u-ull (dude)
Are you just lazy (dude)? Or is this, maybe (dude)
Your way of provin' (dude) I'm a liar?

Man, are you that dumb, I-I
There's ways to prove me wro-o-ong
Without gettin' thugs I-I
Piss off to have me cru-u-ushed
Awful fighter, awful, awful fighter
I'm an awful fighter, oh, awful fighter, oh
I'm an awful fighter, buddy