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Song Parodies -> "Curses"
Original Song Title:
"Circus"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Britney Spears
Parody Song Title:
"Curses"
Parody Written by:
Jeff Reuben
The Lyrics
You know that two types of lyrics are out there
Ones that are clean and ones
You cannot say on air
Well just because we're all polite in the south
Don't mean I ain't got
A potty mouth
When I play lotteries
And don't win squat
When I touch oven burners
And they're still hot
When I drive on the road
I will shout obscenities if you're in my lane
In front of me and you slam on your brakes
Or steal my parking spot, you will feel my road rage
"You effin a-hole! D-bag! Bastard! You're lame!"
On a road trip, and I'm cut off by a dip
I'm screaming curses
Shite I feel so dumb, hammered nails into my thumb
I'm screaming curses
Don't stand there teasing me,
Taunting me, you can bite me, F-U!
When you act like a turd, gonna flip you the bird
And shout some curses
Report was done I was filled with pride
But just before I saved
My computer died
So sorry, it looks like my hard drive's fried
Chucked out the window
And I cried
When on the gym treadmill
I always trip
Bust up my head and elbow
My pants get ripped
Put on a TV show
I watch some basketball and the ref calls a block
"CHARGE REF! Damn you must be blind! What a crock!"
You think I should calm down, but I don't give a flock
"That call was B-S, that ref can suck my cork!"
I'm on a date, I show up three hours late
She's yelling curses
When I try to flirt, spill my beverage down her shirt
She's screaming curses
"YOU TOOL YOU RUINED MY
BRAND NEW BLOUSE, GET LOST YOU P-O-S!"
Hoped to get her in bed, she poured drinks on my head
And yelled some curses:
"Eat me!"
"What the eff you gonna do?"
"You S-O-B!" (She's yelling curses)
"Jerk, go to hell!" (yelling curses)
Stung by a bee, covered with poison ivy
I'm yelling curses
When an angry putz, snaps and kicks me in the nuts
I'm screaming curses
Don't stand there watching and
Laughing, get me some ice for down low
When I'm stupid and drunk, acting like a damn punk
I'm screaming curses
My fridge is bare, because you ate the last pear
I'm yelling curses
Big game is in doubt, that's when the power goes out
I'm screaming curses
Sick of my whining and
Bitching, ass, you know where you can go
If you don't like my puns, and you vote me all ones
I'll give you curses
Ones that are clean and ones
You cannot say on air
Well just because we're all polite in the south
Don't mean I ain't got
A potty mouth
When I play lotteries
And don't win squat
When I touch oven burners
And they're still hot
When I drive on the road
I will shout obscenities if you're in my lane
In front of me and you slam on your brakes
Or steal my parking spot, you will feel my road rage
"You effin a-hole! D-bag! Bastard! You're lame!"
On a road trip, and I'm cut off by a dip
I'm screaming curses
Shite I feel so dumb, hammered nails into my thumb
I'm screaming curses
Don't stand there teasing me,
Taunting me, you can bite me, F-U!
When you act like a turd, gonna flip you the bird
And shout some curses
Report was done I was filled with pride
But just before I saved
My computer died
So sorry, it looks like my hard drive's fried
Chucked out the window
And I cried
When on the gym treadmill
I always trip
Bust up my head and elbow
My pants get ripped
Put on a TV show
I watch some basketball and the ref calls a block
"CHARGE REF! Damn you must be blind! What a crock!"
You think I should calm down, but I don't give a flock
"That call was B-S, that ref can suck my cork!"
I'm on a date, I show up three hours late
She's yelling curses
When I try to flirt, spill my beverage down her shirt
She's screaming curses
"YOU TOOL YOU RUINED MY
BRAND NEW BLOUSE, GET LOST YOU P-O-S!"
Hoped to get her in bed, she poured drinks on my head
And yelled some curses:
"Eat me!"
"What the eff you gonna do?"
"You S-O-B!" (She's yelling curses)
"Jerk, go to hell!" (yelling curses)
Stung by a bee, covered with poison ivy
I'm yelling curses
When an angry putz, snaps and kicks me in the nuts
I'm screaming curses
Don't stand there watching and
Laughing, get me some ice for down low
When I'm stupid and drunk, acting like a damn punk
I'm screaming curses
My fridge is bare, because you ate the last pear
I'm yelling curses
Big game is in doubt, that's when the power goes out
I'm screaming curses
Sick of my whining and
Bitching, ass, you know where you can go
If you don't like my puns, and you vote me all ones
I'll give you curses
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 2 | 4 | ||||||||
| 5 | 24 | 25 | 23 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Too fun, Jeff...and really, as sweet and innocent as I try to appear, this could be my secret anthem...; )
I don't know why...but part of my comment is missing. You had to know I would pay special tribute to the treadmill bit...(and I did!)...but it's not there! =(
This is frigging CLASSIC, Jeff! The whole time I was reading it though, I was like "oh bastard...that's so me." Then I was like "oh, flip the bird, that's so me" then I was like "Oh, spilling on herself, that's so me." But then I got to the pear bit...and I burst into tears. It was like you wrote a tribute to me and Arwen. A couple of bumbling, crotch kicking cursers...
Ah, a tender love story!
LOL
Had to YouTube the OS... Great subs and atmosphere... I can still hear Britney Bales shrill counterpoints reverberating in my skull!
A finr tribute to the English language and those of us who abuse it...f&#%'n Ay...
didn't know the OS but enjoyed it as prose
This song is the f**king s**t!!!!! I could imagine Britney Spears singing your kind of parody! BTW, long time no talk, Jeff! Still enjoyed your parodies. Well, then, peace out! 555!!
You sure love Britney, b*tch. Still waiting on a "Womanizer" parody from you Jeff seeing that Britney is one of your favorite artists (it seems) to parody. Loved this one though and I can totally relate!
Lol ing but then most of your parodies are awesome no change here!
(ABC) Curses! May be foiled again from the Gold spot...
Enjoyed reading this once again for the SOTM!!!
(ABC) Great work here, Jeff! Loved the way you worked out of not using actual curses, or resorting to a ****load of asterisks. Three f***, er fives for you!
[SOTM] Wow, great parody, 5's. I have to admit, I have quite the potty mouth. ;]
ABC...still just fabulous, Jeffy....=)
SOTM...hmmm...it's been a while since I've been here...(this is what i get for trying to get my SOTM voting done early!)...but I STILL really love this. You KNOW I do. =)
Great
All the near curses are great Jeff, very funny, and I really enjoyed the examples provided.
Great idea and execution, Jeff. I utter obscenities (nice sub for "adrenaline") every time I hear a BS song. :grin: 5s Have you paraoked this or recorded it?
(ABC) I wasn't digging this one too much at first, but then it got significantly funnier! Curses, spoofed again! 5-5-5!
Five is just another F-word, isn't it?
I still love this one, and this was a great OS too. I would love to hear a recording of this parody. That's right Jeff. A recording. -clears throat- A recording.... Catch my drift. lol. Good stuff as always buddy.
Good idea; well executed (of course). I am, however, starting to wonder why the flock I don't know any of these songs, I'm like 0-for-3 so far. Anyway, great stuff.
Well, you already know I love this one Jeff, I still love all the near curse words and examples of curse situations.
What Melanie said... though I have to admit that I closed down youtube half way through, 'cause I really can't stand the OS. The slightly worrying side of that is that I have an idea for a parody to it... Anyway, a ****ing good parody (I could be ultra-critical and suggest that I don't think it's quite up to your usual standard, but that's your fault for setting the bar that high)
(SOTM) ****ing see above!
I just loved it. Just loved it. LOL.
(SOTY) "Curses", I'm reading this again...........annnnnnnd loving it!
(SOTY) On the 2nd read here, I notice how great the choruses are compared to the verses. They were very hard to do, it seems.
SOTY...I decided I don't like this anymore. Hee hee...
(I thought I'd break up my comments of "still love this" with a curve ball. You know it's a fave though...)
(I thought I'd break up my comments of "still love this" with a curve ball. You know it's a fave though...)
Dave might defeat everyone in SOTY with this song.. God f**kin' damn it... Excuse my language. 5s.
Ridiculous. I loooove that you do such delightful skewerings of crappy Top 40 songs, and I related too much for this one to be anywhere but in my top picks.
Pretty darn good, though I don't use any cursing except for PINGAS! 555
See above again
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