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Song Parodies -> "Unaffordable"

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The Lyrics

Part of my "United State of Pop" self-challenge. The final part, in fact! Not just of the 2007 list, but of the whole shebang! At least for two months, then I'll do the 2014 list, but until then, this is it! Anywho, a parody about a man who's completely broke...and it's kind of his fault. Enjoy!
Not a cent, not a cent
Not a cent, not a cent

Not a cent, not a cent
All throughout my home you would not find a cent
Empty wallet, that sure sucks
Nought in my pockets, I can't buy cool stuff (cool stuff)
Doesn't help that my tastes are fi-ine
I don't have the scratch for fancy di-inin'
I'm reduced to wearin' bags
I don't have the cash to be poppin' those tags
I don't have credit cards
Even if I did they'd be used
All run out, my spending habits have left me destitute
Sure ain't tightfisted

Sure wish I had money
What I'd get with money
First I'd get a double-decker ham sammich
Then I'd upgrade my internet bandwidth, buddy
And that's a fact 'bout me
I've crap priorities
Wasted all my cash on real pointless bollocks
And that's why even the tiniest choc'late bar is
Quite unaffordable

So you say that I should pawn
My stuff, but I can't just let them go
Yes, I know it's dumb, if my cash is low
But to ask me to sell my antique knife hoa-oard?
That's unthinkable, du-ude
So while you're here, could I bum some cash off of you-ou?
I'll pay you back, plea-ease
'Bout four hund'red bucks is all I nee-eed
Groceries for two months
And a few comic book issues
Must find out what happened in the most recent Doctor Who-o-o-o-o
Show and comic

I've run out of money
I'm all out of money
Promise if you lend me some, I won't spend it
Fine, a bit, but the rest, I'll invest it, buddy
I need some more coffee
And some new DVD's
Love you for all time if you let me borrow
A couple hund'red bucks, cause even half a mint is
Quite unaffordable (unaffordable)

Since I can't afford anythi-ing (unaffordable)
I feel I should do something
Get me a job or two (that's somethi-i-i-ing)
But it's something that I cannot do (just hear me out here)
I can't gain employment, see-ee
Cause the main drawback of me is
I'm just so ungodly lazy-y-y-y-y-y-y

Not a cent, not a cent
Not a cent, not a cent
Not a cent, not a cent
Search my whole damn home, but you won't find a cent
Not a cent, not a cent
Even ev'rything in the One Dollar Store is
Quite unaffordable

I really need money
I badly need money
Should spend it on therapy for my habit
To waste my cash on cool toys and gadgets, buddy
So if you could lend me
A wad or two of green
Pay you back, I swear, so please let me borrow
Just enough cash to buy some shades and restock the fri-idge
Wish I had some money (ba-a-aby-y-y-y-y)
I'm so bad with money (yeah)
I tell you, it really sucks being this skint
Sometimes I wish that I was a skinflint
You must be real sick of me whingin' (whingin' about money)
Know a way to get me to zip it (just lend me some money)
If I'll use it properly, that I don't know
But I know I'm sick of even Tic-Tacs bein'
Quite unaffordable, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Not including the parodies of relevant songs before I officially started the damn thing, but it took me two years and six months to complete my "United State of Pop" self-challenge. Let's see how long it takes to complete Matthias' Polka Parody Project!

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Total Votes: 2

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