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Song Parodies -> "Pig and the Charlotte"

Original Song Title:

"Beast and the Harlot"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Avenged Sevenfold

Parody Song Title:

"Pig and the Charlotte"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

My tribute to Charlotte's Web. Why? Because not a lot rhymes with "harlot", TBH.
Oh-ah-ah-ah

Fern always had a heart of gold, never low on innocence
Runt of the litter's death was near until she begged her dad for peace
The little pig's saviour
Wilbur shall be a Christmas feast, how can Fern save this pig?
She will do nothing, the credit goes to a barn spider Wilbur befriended
The pig and the Charlotte, whoa

Send a message to the humans
That this one pig shouldn't end up dinner, just with far less words
Can't fit all of a sonnet's lines inside a tiny spider web
Just a barn, it's not Shelob's domain

The phrases are simple but bold, "Some Pig" was just the first
"Terrific" was a brainstorm by geese, new web needed words
Old one wrecked by hornet
Third and fourth made after a search by the rat Templeton, true
The latter was more forced since it needed a food bribe
The pig and the Charlotte, whoa

Wilbur was saved from the humans
Didn't win the fair but got a special prize 'cause of the words
Might have had a radiant smile but stayed humble throughout the thing
Now he won't end up upon the plate

A happy ending, sweet, no bitter
Surely all this extra runtime's no red flag now
Why does Charlotte look so sickly?
A dead spider makes me sad? Good writing, hands down
Poor little Wilbur starts to wail as all her babies start to sail
Into the sky forever, well, except for those three
Only those little spiders stuck around to see a sequel but
A DTV film thirty bloody years later? Have no int'rest

And so ends the tale of Wilbur
And of Charlotte and all the rest all born from E.B. White's words
None of which I've really read, mind, the old cartoon's what my mind thinks
When the title is mentioned, okay?
No, I never saw the remake
Don't want to deal with closeups of a realistic spider
All of the charm would go bye-bye as I'd be trying to just sit
And not scream with ev'ry single frame

Wish there could've .been a spot in here to bring up that one goose's spelling of "terrific" as "T double-E double-R double-R double-I double-F double-I double-C, C, C". Teerrrriiffiiccc.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   26
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 26
 

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