"You'll understand it when your olde-er"
That's what Mum said whe-en I asked 'bou-out Will & Gra-a-ace
Been twenty years but I'm no bolde-er
I still ask permission for things, she says na-ay
A horror movie's not oka-ay
Tetris is my-y one and only video ga-ame

I'm not allowed to, buddy
Protection's what Mum has in mi-ind
Got a point or two, buddy
But no Pokémon? That see-eems unki-ind
I'm not allowed to, buddy-y
Ev'rything must be rated "G"
Keep in mi-ind, I'm pushin' thirty-three-ee-ee, yeah

So much she's withholdi-in'
"Well, it looks a li-ittle violent, I don't kno-o-ow"
I wou-ould love to-o say tha-at I hate i-it
But Mum says "dislike"'s the bette-er word, 'fraid so-o-o
Oh-oh-oh, yeah-ee-yeah-eah

I'm not allowed to, buddy
Mum hates bad language o-of all ki-inds
No "damn" or "hell" or "bloody"
I think up substitutes o-on the fly-y
I'm not allowed to, buddy
I've tried my best to make Mu-um see-ee
That it's fi-ine, bu-ut it seems she-e wo-on't belie-ieve

How can my Mum know (yeah)
What I do o-on my o-oo-o-own? (yeah)
Don't live with her but she keeps tabs on my stu-u-uff
(Yeah-ee-yeah-eah, yeah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah)
A visit ev'ry month (oh-oh-oh-oh)
To remove the "ba-ad" stu-uff
Weird that she-e does it at the-e point o-of a gu-un
Oh-whoa-oh-oo-whoa-oh-oo-whoa-oh-oo-oh-oh-oo-oh-oh-oh

I'm not allowed to, buddy
My mum won't let me go-o onli-ine
Spend my day with books, buddy
Ones Mum's approved of ahea-ead of ti-ime
I'm not allowed to, buddy
Surprised she even lets me-e brea-eathe
Hope that I-I wo-on't become No-orma-an Bates, plea-ease
Yeah, oh-oh yeah-eah
Oh-oo-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh