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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> Simon & Garfunkel
Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.
This page contains a list of the songs that have stories about their misheard lyrics submitted.
Song names are sorted by first letter, excluding A and The. This is sorted by song title only, not by song title and performer. So if two different performers preformed the same song, you'll see misheard lyrics for both on the same page (provided the song title was spelt the same both times, and misheard lyrics have been submitted for both!).
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Simon & Garfunkel's, "America"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Captain Picard's on the New Jersey Turnpike
The Real Lyrics:
Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike
The Story: Considering the fact that the song is about 17 years older than Star Trek: TNG, they either time travelled or it's very misheard. The mental image of Picard and his crew sitting in New Jersey traffic is pretty funny, though. - Submitted by: Dayna
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Boxer"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Just a come-on from the war zone, Seventh Avenue
The Real Lyrics:
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
The Story: I had never countenanced the idea of using the word 'whore' in a published song, and, with my skewed knowledge of New York, I assumed that the area around Seventh Avenue on Manhattan was a 'war zone,' i.e., gang turf... - Submitted by: Doug Montgomery
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Bridge Over Troubled Water"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And paint his arms brown
The Real Lyrics:
And pain is all around
The Story: Nothing funny, I was just a dumb kid. - Submitted by: John
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Bridge Over Troubled Water"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And say we might be high.
The Real Lyrics:
I'm sailing right behind.
The Story: For the longest time, I just wrote the lyric off to being one of those blatant drug references from the 1960s. Then one day I was listening closely to it and I realized I was very mistaken. - Submitted by: Sean
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Bridge Over Troubled Water"
The Misheard Lyrics:
That little shit does it two times a day
The Real Lyrics:
Like a bridge over troubled water
The Story: In a chatroom playing guitar with a bunch of magicians getting stoned and few of us started goofin' on songs. In fact we came up with a lot of songs we goof'd on. - Submitted by: Timi Zhuo
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Cecilia"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Jew relations, she loves me again
The Real Lyrics:
Jubilations, she loves me again
The Story: Paul Simon is Jewish and it would make sense that he would want to tell his relations that he got back with his girlfriend. Hence I thought it said Jew relations, she loves me again. And I was probably too young to know the word jubilation. - Submitted by: Unruly
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Cecilia"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Jubilation, she loves me again
I fall on the floor and I lactate.
I fall on the floor and I lactate.
The Real Lyrics:
Jubilation, she loves me again
I fall on the floor and I'm laughing.
I fall on the floor and I'm laughing.
The Story: I was driving in my car today, listening to this song and really trying to figure out these words - heard the song a million times but never really paid attention. When I sounded it out to myself, I couldn't believe how stupid I sounded, and just had to share here. - Submitted by: Suz
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Cecilia"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Making love in the afternoon
With tequila up in my bedroom.
With tequila up in my bedroom.
The Real Lyrics:
Making love in the afternoon
With Cecilia up in my bedroom.
With Cecilia up in my bedroom.
The Story: I heard it this way when I first heard the song. Then someone heard me singing it this way and said "good one", like I'd changed the lyrics on purpose. Later someone heard me again and almost died laughing and corrected the lyrics for me. I never let on to the first responder (who said "good one!") like I didn't know I was changing the lyrics. - Submitted by: Karen Smith
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Hazy Shade of Winter"
The Misheard Lyrics:
There's a black joke store on the ground
The Real Lyrics:
There's a patch of snow on the ground
The Story: My 13 year-old daughter recently discovered S&G. We were enjoying this song in the car, and I sang, "There's a patch of snow on the ground." She exclaimed, "Oh! That makes way more sense than 'There's a black joke store on the ground'!" Good thing I had the cruise control on. - Submitted by: Avery
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Homeward Bound"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Home, where my dog's escaping.
The Real Lyrics:
Home, where my thought's escaping.
The Story: Technically, I've always heard something indistinct rather than actually mishearing it: I knew it could be 'dog's' or 'thought's,' but I just couldn't tell which one. Until I saw it in writing, I assumed it would be 'dog's' because I didn't see how thought could escape, especially from one's house rather than from one's head. I realized too late that home could be the place 'where' as in *to which* it was escaping rather than where the actual escape occurred. - Submitted by: Noah Spellman
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Homeward Bound"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Home, where my dog's escaping.
The Real Lyrics:
Home, where my thoughts escaping.
The Story: I was babysitting the neighbors' boys. This is the 8-year-old's version of the chorus. Evidently their mom and dad were big Simon & Garfunkel fans. - Submitted by: S.j. Gum
Simon & Garfunkel's, "I Am A Rock"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I am a mop, I am an orange.
The Real Lyrics:
I am a rock, I am an island.
The Story: My friend, Dave, and I were listening to this song one day. Then he said, "Wow, this song is so deep." I cocked an eyebrow at him, because, in my opinion, while it's a good song, it's not all that deep (you're alone, I get it). I asked what he thought was so deep about it. He replied, "Just think about it--I am a mop, I am an orange." I told him what the words were. - Submitted by: Sally
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Mrs. Robinson"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Georgia Joe has left and gone away.
The Real Lyrics:
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away
The Story: Or Jo-Jo-Joe has left an gone away. - Submitted by: Steve K
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Mrs. Robinson"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Going to a candlelights "Gebet".
The Real Lyrics:
Going to the candidates' debate.
The Story: Was just wondering about what new kind of prayer that might be. - Submitted by: Timi Zhuo
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Mrs. Robinson"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Joe, dear Joe has left and gone away.
The Real Lyrics:
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away.
The Story: Not being very much into sports. The first time I heard this song, I thought that Joe Dimaggio was already dead, and that one verse was commemorating him. It was a bit of a shock when Dimaggio finally died for real, a couple decades after this song came out. - Submitted by: Arnequis
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Mrs. Robinson"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Where have you gone, Joe and Benji-O?
The Real Lyrics:
Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
The Story: Have gotten used to this when it came to the fact Joe Camp created Benji. - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Sound Of Silence"
The Misheard Lyrics:
'Hear my words that I'm an angry Jew
Take my arms that I'm an angry Jew.'
Take my arms that I'm an angry Jew.'
The Real Lyrics:
'Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you.'
Take my arms that I might reach you.'
The Story: I thought these were the words until I was 29 years old. My friend got a karaoke machine last Christmas and this was one of the songs. Imagine my shock when I saw the real words. - Submitted by: Jennifer Lawson
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Sound of Silence"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And the sign said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
Tiananmen falls.
Are written on the subway walls
Tiananmen falls.
The Real Lyrics:
And the sign said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
The Story: I thought the song had a reference to Tiananmen Square in Beijing, China for some reason. Maybe it was a prophecy of the Tiananmen Square massacre, written on the subway walls? - Submitted by: Rachel
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Sound of Silence"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I am Sheol, dead in my arbor
The Real Lyrics:
I am shielded in my armor
The Story: These lyrics weren't misheard by me, but a kid I went to school with.
He was explaining to me how this song talked about this Greek god named Sheol, and how he died in his arbor in some epic story of Greek mythology. Of course, that's not what the song says, and Sheol isn't a Greek god, but the Hebrew word for hell.
I did set him straight on the lyrics. His response?
"Oh." - Submitted by: Mark
He was explaining to me how this song talked about this Greek god named Sheol, and how he died in his arbor in some epic story of Greek mythology. Of course, that's not what the song says, and Sheol isn't a Greek god, but the Hebrew word for hell.
I did set him straight on the lyrics. His response?
"Oh." - Submitted by: Mark
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Sounds of Silence"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And the people bowed and prayed, to the neon god LeMay.
The Real Lyrics:
And the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made.
The Story: General Curtis LeMay was commander of the Strategic Air Command in the 1950's and 1960's. Since he had control of America's vast nuclear arsenal, he was the 'neon god LeMay', don't you think?? - Submitted by: Bob Malone
Simon & Garfunkel's, "Sounds of Silence"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Silence like a Tensor grows
The Real Lyrics:
Silence like a cancer grows
The Story: Tensor is a brand name of high-intensity reading lamp. I had a Tensor lamp in the early 70s, when I first heard this song all the way through. I mulled over this and decided Simon and Garfunkel were not talking about a lamp, so I called the local music store and got the correct lyrics. - Submitted by: Doug Montgomery
Simon & Garfunkel's, "The Boxer"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Just a 'come home' from the folks on Seventh Avenue.
The Real Lyrics:
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue.
The Story: Since he'd been talking about when he left home earlier in the song, I thought this was a reference to his family asking him to return. - Submitted by: Alex
Simon & Garfunkel's, "The Boxer"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Just a come-on fro the horse on Seventh Avenue.
The Real Lyrics:
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue.
The Story: I had an image in my brain for years of this horse on Seventh Avenue trying to seduce Paul Simon! - Submitted by: Pete Fowler
Simon & Garfunkel's, "The Sounds of Silence"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Take my words that have my Aunty June
Take my arms that have my every June.
Take my arms that have my every June.
The Real Lyrics:
Hear my words that I might teach you.
Take my arms that I might reach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
The Story: Hey, I WAS only 3 the first time I heard this one!!!! - Submitted by: Dan Cronan
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