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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> Alanis Morissette
Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.
This page contains a list of the songs that have stories about their misheard lyrics submitted.
Song names are sorted by first letter, excluding A and The. This is sorted by song title only, not by song title and performer. So if two different performers preformed the same song, you'll see misheard lyrics for both on the same page (provided the song title was spelt the same both times, and misheard lyrics have been submitted for both!).
Alanis Unplugged album at Amazon.com
Alanis Morissette's, "21 Things I Want In A Lover"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Are you worshipping Allah
The all-encompassing King?
The all-encompassing King?
The Real Lyrics:
Are you funny?
A la self-deprecating?
A la self-deprecating?
The Story: When I first heard this song, there was that shock you'd expect going through me at this lyric, thinking, 'Wait, Alanis isn't Muslim. I hope she isn't trying to support terrorism or something!' A quick glance through the lyric booklet soothed my irrational fears, but it's pretty easy to hear the word 'Allah' instead of 'a la' (as in 'a la carte'). - Submitted by: Stevie
Alanis Morissette's, "All I Really Want"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I'm frustrated by your applique.
The Real Lyrics:
I'm frustrated by your apathy.
The Story: This was sung by a girl I worked with in a custom t-shirt shop. I guess she had sewing on the brain! - Submitted by: Karen Elliott
Alanis Morissette's, "Guardian"
The Misheard Lyrics:
The greatest stoner of all as your guardian
The Real Lyrics:
The greatest honor of all as your guardian
The Story: Just found it funny imagining Alanis as a caring mum and a pothead at the same time :) - Submitted by: Philipp Ahrend
Alanis Morissette's, "Head Over Feet"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Best friend with NFS
The Real Lyrics:
Best friend with benefits
The Story: Being computer geeks, we thought this was a pretty good thing to have a best friend with a Networked File System. - Submitted by: Phil
Alanis Morissette's, "Head Over Feet"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not your stoop lying there.
or
I'm not your stooge lying there.
I'm not your stoop lying there.
or
I'm not your stooge lying there.
The Real Lyrics:
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that.
I'm not used to liking that.
The Story: I always thought 'stoop' or 'stooge' might be song kind of modern slang term for a slut-or something along those lines. - Submitted by: michael
Alanis Morissette's, "Head Over Feet"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You've already humped me over
And got inside of me.
And got inside of me.
The Real Lyrics:
You've already won me over
In spite of me.
In spite of me.
The Story: I was talking my best friend and one of her friends to this club. Of course, we were listening to music when this song came on. So my best friend's friend was singing to it. She has a great voice, but I heard her say, 'You've already humped me over, and got inside of me!' when the real lyrics are, 'You've already won me over, inspite of me!' So Lori (my best friend) and I started laughing so hard we almost ran a red light. - Submitted by: Alaina Peterson
Alanis Morissette's, "Head Over Feet"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You've already run me over.
The Real Lyrics:
You've already won me over.
The Story: My friend Shannon and I were singing it. I accidentally said, 'You've already run me over'. Then we made up a whole screwed up chorus. - Submitted by: Courtney
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
A death-roll h***-on
Two minutes too late.
Two minutes too late.
The Real Lyrics:
A death row pardon
Two minutes too late.
Two minutes too late.
The Story: I assumed the 'death-roll' referred to what crocodiles do when they are trying to kill someone (and this explained the desperation of the sexual situation.) - Submitted by: Nowri
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
A death-throe hard-on,
two minutes too late
two minutes too late
The Real Lyrics:
A death-row pardon,
two minutes too late
two minutes too late
The Story: I heard this when I was 14, and thought that's what the line really was! I thought the guy had died during sex. (After all, it was Alanis Morissette, right?) I only discovered the difference when I heard a friend of mine sing the correct lyrics. When I told her what I thought the lyrics had been, she nearly fell over because she was laughing so hard. - Submitted by: Kelly S.
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
An old man turned and yanked
The Real Lyrics:
An old man turned ninety-eight
The Story: My best friend and I were obsessed with Alanis Morrisette, we were around twenty years old when she came on scene. I must say what my best friend thought she heard made this song even better!! lol - Submitted by: Autumn
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little tunic.. and yeah I really do think...
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little tunic.. and yeah I really do think...
The Real Lyrics:
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic.. and yeah I really do think...
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic.. and yeah I really do think...
The Story: I said 'tunic' for approximately a year, then i finally got fed up with not knowing the words, and found out she said 'too ironic' in the line I just mentioned. Sounds silly but I didn't care at the time. Some songs are better and more fun when you don't know all the words!! - Submitted by: Robert
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's a death row hard-on
2 minutes too late.
2 minutes too late.
The Real Lyrics:
It's a death row pardon
2 minutes too late.
2 minutes too late.
The Story: You know, this just made sense to me. I heard all the other lyrics correctly. My logic was the dude was on death row and could have had one last 'fling' or whatever. But he was 'ready', 2 minutes too late. I was warbling it while washing dishes, and my roomie corrected me years and years ago and she still tortures me over it. It made sense to me dammit! - Submitted by: Kb
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's a death throw hard-on, two minutes too late.
The Real Lyrics:
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late.
The Story: For years I've always misheard the lyric as above and never realised it. Always thought it was subtle piece of writing and used it as an example in a heated discussion of sex in song. Then it was pointed out to me just how wrong I'd been! Mind you, even now I prefer my mis-heard version to the original. Cheers, Neil - Submitted by: Neil Leacy
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's a death-throe hard-on
Two minutes too late.
Two minutes too late.
The Real Lyrics:
It's a death row pardon
Two minutes too late.
Two minutes too late.
The Story: Yeah, I thought the 'death-throe hard-on' was a little weird. But hey -- it was Alanis Morissette, right? I didn't realize the difference until I finally read the correct lyrics from the cd liner. My friend actually did a spit-take when I told her what I had always thought they were. - Submitted by: Kelly
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's a green light, when you're already late.
The Real Lyrics:
It's a free ride, when you've already paid.
The Story: I sang the wrong lyrics and my friend just went off on me on how they were wrong. I guess they were a big Alanis Morissette fan, huh? - Submitted by: David Behm
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's like Gatorade on your wedding day
Free flies when you already paid.
Free flies when you already paid.
The Real Lyrics:
It's like rain, on your wedding day
A free ride, when you already paid.
A free ride, when you already paid.
The Story: When I was young, I actually thought she was singing about drinking Gatorade during the wedding. Instead of a punch bowl, a Gatorade bowl. - Submitted by: Heather
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's like mayday for your wedding day
The Real Lyrics:
It's like rain on your wedding day
The Story: No doubt I heard it back in the day. - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's like rain, when you're wet anyway
The Real Lyrics:
It's like rain, on your wedding day
The Story: My wife, her best friend, and I were going out to eat last weekend and we heard 'Ironic' on the radio and my wife's friend said that she had figured out that Alanis was saying 'when you're wet anyway', instead of 'on your wedding day'!?! I was just stunned but really didn't believe her, but she was so convinced that she was right!!! She just kept saying that it made alot more sense that way and that the other lyrics didn't! It was hilarious! I later found the lyrics on the internet and my wife and I laughed and laughed. I don't think we are going to tell her though! - Submitted by: Andrew Bartholomew
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It’s a feline in your home anyway
The Real Lyrics:
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
The Story: Sounded like feline but it was really an Edgar Winter Group reference - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Alanis Morissette's, "Ironic"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It’s your best friend with another face
The Real Lyrics:
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay.
The Story: One of the many lyrics my best friend managed to misunderstand in this song. We were around twenty years old, which made it even funnier that she really thought that’s what the lyrics were!! - Submitted by: Autumn
Alanis Morissette's, "Knees Of My Bees"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You make the knees of my bees squeak
Jumbalaya butthole!!
Jumbalaya butthole!!
The Real Lyrics:
You make the knees of my bees weak
Tremble and buckle!!
Tremble and buckle!!
The Story: Sometimes I almost tend to purposely misinterpret stuff, but this one was too good to pass up. I always kiddingly thought of it that way before knowing the original lyrics. - Submitted by: Juliet
Alanis Morissette's, "Not The Doctor"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Midiam ta botta
The Real Lyrics:
Mind the empty bottle.
The Story: My dad got this album when I was 5. Everytime I heard this song I thought she was saying 'Midiam ta botta', so I called her Midiam (pronounced Mighty-am). - Submitted by: Jennie
Alanis Morissette's, "Thank U"
The Misheard Lyrics:
How Bout Meena Blaming You For Everything
The Real Lyrics:
How 'bout me not blaming you for everything
The Story: heard this after watching emmerdale - Submitted by: Daniel Jones
Alanis Morissette's, "Uninvited"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Like any hard-bodied woman
I won't simply won't tell an object to creep
But you, you're not alone
You're uninvited, an unfortunate slide
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stork squirm
Must be somewhat heart-turning
To watch a bunny shiver
But you, you're not alone
You're uninvited, an ufortunate slide
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But you, you're not alone
You're uninvited, an ufortunate slide
I don't think you talk dirty
But I need a moment
To think over this date.
I won't simply won't tell an object to creep
But you, you're not alone
You're uninvited, an unfortunate slide
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stork squirm
Must be somewhat heart-turning
To watch a bunny shiver
But you, you're not alone
You're uninvited, an ufortunate slide
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But you, you're not alone
You're uninvited, an ufortunate slide
I don't think you talk dirty
But I need a moment
To think over this date.
The Real Lyrics:
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited, an unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd meet shepherd
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited, an unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited, an unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
But I need a moment to deliberate.
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited, an unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd meet shepherd
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited, an unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited, an unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
But I need a moment to deliberate.
The Story: For years I sang it this way about the places I went, until a friend told me that I was making a fool of myself. - Submitted by: Stevie
Alanis Morissette's, "Uninvited"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Must be strangely exiting
To watch the story squirrel
Must be somewhat hard telling
To watch a birdy shiver.
To watch the story squirrel
Must be somewhat hard telling
To watch a birdy shiver.
The Real Lyrics:
Must be strangely exiting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
The Story: It makes me still laugh, but this is really what everybody's hearing. - Submitted by: Uneternal
Alanis Morissette's, "You Learn"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I recommend sticking your bird in you mouth.
The Real Lyrics:
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth.
The Story: I found that misheard lyric in the 'stories' pages of this site. I found it extremely funny, and thats' because I'm Italian, and the Italian for 'Bird' is 'Uccello': uccello in Italian is a polite metaphor that we use to mean 'penis'. - Submitted by: tracotanz
Alanis Morissette's, "You Learn"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I recommend sticking your butt in your mouth.
The Real Lyrics:
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth.
The Story: The first time I heard this song, I was only about 9. I thought, 'Is sticking your butt in your mouth even possible??' Nevertheless, I continued to sing these lyrics until my mother caught me singing them. She made me find the correct lyrics. Lucky for me, because I was considering trying to fit my bottom into my mouth. - Submitted by: shaheen
Alanis Morissette's, "You Learn"
The Misheard Lyrics:
New screen
The Real Lyrics:
You scream
The Story: It was really about having to do with screaming! - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Alanis Morissette's, "You Learn"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You joke
The Real Lyrics:
You choke
The Story: It often confused me between “joke” and “choke”. - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Alanis Morissette's, "You Oughta Know"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me.
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me.
The Real Lyrics:
And I'm there, to remind you
Of the mess that you left when you went away
It's not fair to remind me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me.
Of the mess that you left when you went away
It's not fair to remind me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me.
The Story: My nephew heard this song and asked me, "Why did he give her a cross-eyed bear?" - Submitted by: Ken Blackman
Alanis Morissette's, "You Oughta Know"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Did you forget about me? Yes you do. Missing me?
The Real Lyrics:
Did you forget about me
Mr. Duplicity?
Mr. Duplicity?
The Story: She asks if he's forgotten about her and she answers for him because the answer is obviously no and then she ask if he misses her now that he remembers her. - Submitted by: Alan Harris
Alanis Morissette's, "You Oughta Know"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's not fair, to deny me of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me
The Real Lyrics:
It's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me
The Story: Listening to You Oughta Know while trying to fall asleep, my daughter suddenly asks, "why would he give her a cross-eyed bear?" Not sure if I heard correctly I asked her to repeat what she said. Sure enough she said, "Why would he give her a cross-eyed bear?" I laughed so much I was crying because I was putting myself in her shoes & I was picturing him giving her a cross-eyed bear, possibly with the tongue sticking out. After all that laughing, I explained to my then, 8 y/o, that he didn't give her such an object. - Submitted by: Maria E Ocasio
Alanis Morissette's, "You Oughta Know"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Of the cross-eyed bear you gave to me.
The Real Lyrics:
Of the cross I bare that you gave to me.
The Story: I realized I was singing the lyrics wrong when a group of my friends and I were riding in a car and I was signing (sign language) the words to each song. I signed and that's where it began. - Submitted by: Lyndsey
Alanis Morissette's, "Your House"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Would you forgive me, love
If I s*** in your shower?
If I s*** in your shower?
The Real Lyrics:
Would you forgive me, love
If I dance in your shower?
If I dance in your shower?
The Story: Yes, that's really how I heard it. As hard as it might usually seem to mishear 'dance' as 's***', in the case of Alanis Morissette's singing, She seems to sing at least 50% of her words as if she had a mouth full of livermush. So no mishearing is particularly surprising when it comes to her songs. - Submitted by: Regina Haniger
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