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Song Parodies -> "If They'd Only Play A Game"

Original Song Title:

"If I Only Had A Brain"

Original Performer:

Wizard of Oz

Parody Song Title:

"If They'd Only Play A Game"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

When I learned that a salary dispute between players and owners caused the NHL season to end abruptly, I just laughed. I've never liked hockey. For me, it's nothing more than a shallow prelude to a fist fight. This cancelled season just makes them more diserving of brow-beating spoof.
Oh, the stadium's not vivid, the fans they all are livid,
NHL has lost it's fame.
The players they said, "Later!"
And created hockey haters
When they wouldn't play a game.

My adrenaline is fallin', from all the lack of brawlin';
The winter's gettin' lame.
The sponsers won't be cryin',
And the fists they would be flyin',
If they'd only play a game.

Oh, why do we try to put our faith into sports.
You know that baseball has done all of this before.
Those pro-athletes are greedy sorts.

The fans they would be thrillin', the seats they would be fillin',
Contract debates are getting lame.
Instead of watching skating couplets,
Fans could collect bicuspids,
If they'd only play a game.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   11

User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent choice of original song for the subject matter =) Well done, Scathe!
Michael Pacholek - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment
I had to dock you a point for blaming the players instead of the owners. The only player we can blame is Mario Lemieux, because he's also an owner. He's also a traitor, along with Wayne Gretzky -- who, by the way, is only the third-greatest player of all time, behind Gordie Howe and Bobby Orr.
Charlie Decker - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
5s from another hockey fan who's dead inside...
Jeff Reuben - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(Sports) What I said 3 posts ago, and still works for me. Well done!
Agrimorfee - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(SPORTS) High fives, no high sticks.!
Rex - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
This season has been put on ice. Well said.
Ethan Mawyer - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(Sports) i don't like hockey either. but i did like this. 545
John Jenkins - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good job, Scathe, of taking advantage of the rhyming patterns and rhythm of the OS. The bicuspid line was my fave, but the ending was very good, too. I haven't paid much attention to ice hockey in the past, and will probably pay less attention in the future ... if there is a future.
Guy - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(Sports) I saw a benefit hockey match a few weeks back where the proceeds went to the world leprosy foundation. The game was delayed because someone had a face off in the corner.
Know 1 can hear you dream - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
You know, they're not really on strike, they are playing here in Sweden and in Finland and in Russia and the playoffs are just about to begin... I'd link you to live pictures if I could find any but the rights are as tightly protected as that NHL boss's but is procectivly tight.
Claude Prez - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
I liked the bicuspid line too. Well done.
Stuart McArthur - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(sports) couplets/bicuspids?? LOL! - 555 Scathe
Johnny D - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(Sports) So who ARE the straw-men without a brain, anyway? The owners? The players? BOTH? Ha ha HA !!! Great job.
Loosekanen (Mike Armstrong) - March 07, 2005 - Report this comment
(sports) This parody is written well enough, I'm just a part of the 80% of American sports die hards that simply doesn't care one lick. I haven't missed hockey AT ALL.

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