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Song Parodies -> "Shariah"

Original Song Title:

"Maria"

Original Performer:

West Side Story (Musical)

Parody Song Title:

"Shariah"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

I imagine a duet, based on TOS, between a married couple who just converted to Islam, either voluntarily or when the West lost the Clash of Civilizations. In these brief lyrics, I barely can cover the subject.
He:
Shariah
I must get a law named Shariah
Then suddenly my dame
Will ever be more tame
You'll see [1]

She:
Shariah
They just passed a law named Shariah
And suddenly I found
How many rules surround
Poor me

He:
Shariah
Wear a shroud, be abused for playing
They cut off hands [2] for Islamic straying

Both:
Shariah
I'll never stop praying
Shariah
Shariah, Shariah
Shariah
May the crowd be amused, kick-slaying
Gays who scoffed at great Allah, betraying
Shariah
The most beautiful sound I ever heard [3]
Sha-ri-ah

([ ;-()>>>>
[1] Hey, husbands, maybe this isn't such a bad idea.
[2] ... and other offending body parts; "hand" fit "and" in TOS.
[3] ... is the Muslim prayer call at sunset -- Barack Hussein Obama

If this is my last parody, you'll know that the fatwah on me was fulfilled.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - October 01, 2010 - Report this comment
BJM - Nicely done. In this case, "getting stoned" isn't a good idea! ;D
Mark Scotti - October 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Remember the book "The Lottery"? 555 stones...
Barry J. Mitchel - October 01, 2010 - Report this comment
OMR: LOL! I worried that I was risking a punishment like stoning (that's for women) or beheading.
MS: Sorry, I haven't read it. Please elaborate on your stoning allusion.
Patrick - October 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Just saw that video going around the internet of a girl being stomped and stoned to death for refusing to marry the man her father chose for her. Are not Muslims allowed to have more than one wife?
Tommy Turtle - October 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Since you gave me a pass on screwing up quadratic equiations, I'll give you one for omitting the *very* significant opening:

Maria
The most beautiful sound I ever heard ... etc.

555 - there, we're even. :) :) :) Done it six times, always including that - it sets the mood, the tone, and the context in the OS, and can/should do that in the parody as well. No need to read all or any of them, but here's a sample to show that it works even on a much more trivial subject:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/westsidestorybernsteinsondheim2.shtml

No obligation to read that one, either, of course, Otherwise, great job.
Barry J. Mitchel - October 02, 2010 - Report this comment
TT: Thanks for the pass. I knew of the intro (and your work), but it didn't fit the duet form. Besides, the first line is repeated at the end. BTW, BHO secretly may want Shariah because 1st Lady MRO is too hard to control.
Dana Mathewson - October 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Wonderful job, Barry. Except that now, I'm sure I'll never hear that song again without thinking of this version.
Barry J. Mitchel - October 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Patrick: Multiple wives are allowed, as young as 9 I think, often arranged by parents. A man can divorce one just by saying so, but no wife can initiate divorce.

DM: That's a real compliment, but I'm sorry if I spoiled TOS for you after 54 years.

TT: After some reflection, I came up with this opening:
Utmost duty is found in Islam's cause;
Allah's beauty resounds when the world has one set of laws . . .
Tommy Turtle - October 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks for proving what I've always said: that you can make *anything* work, if you really want to. Said it here, and there's a plug in there for you, which you missed:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/bonnietyler44.shtml

*Very* nicely done. Would have added greatly to the already-good song -- and all it took was a little extra reflection. :) :) :)

(For future reference, this rater tends to cut noobs and average writers a little slack, but the better the writer, the higher the expectations. So take it as a compliment that the Barry-Bar is quite high, if that matters at all.. :-D )
Old Man Ribber - October 04, 2010 - Report this comment
BJM (Barry) - The Lottery by Shirley Jackson is a VERY disturbing short story about rural America where the villagers participate in a timeless ritual human sacrifice by stoning. But as Bob Dylan sang, "Everybody must get stoned!". ;D

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