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Song Parodies -> "Handy Like"

Original Song Title:

"Fancy Like"

Original Performer:

Walker Hayes

Parody Song Title:

"Handy Like"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream" self-challenge. I'm so handy, you already know...
Ayy

My wrench is crankin', performin' maint'nance
Don't need no wallet-emptyin' replacement
Is your tap drippy? Feel free to call me
Well, that's a little off, I might charge a small fee (small-small)
It really just depends on the whole state
Whether it's only rusty or post-grenade (yeah), ayy, ayy, ayy

Yeah, I'm handy like elbow grease on your porch lights
Force that flicker away, brighter by a few shades
Got a loose beam on the wall, dude?
No problem, fixed up, I got you
Useful like khaki shorts that haul my load
Frig-friggin' lots of pockets, that one's no joke
I will never slam my hammer on my thumb or in my eye (hey)
That's how I do, how I do
Handy like, ooh, handy like, ooh
Handy like, ooh, handy like, ooh (uh)

Holey roof, fella (holey roof, fella)? I suggest a (I suggest a)
Permanent graft and (ayy, ayy) not taped-on umbrellas (that's a joke)
You've done some damage (ooh) with how you're slappin' (whoo!)
A duct tape line all the time, can't stand it (can't stand it)
That meme can go to hell, drives me insane
You gotta double-pay me for that ripped frame (yeah), ayy, ayy, ayy

Yeah, I'm handy like elbow grease on your floor tiles (that's right)
Make that mold go away but that loose one will stay (a-a-a-ayy)
It's a bad scene, glad you called, dude (it's a really bad scene)
Dishwasher went and blew up too (that blew up too)
Useful like khaki boots, won't leave 'em home (leave 'em home)
Keep-keepin' a real strong grip when the leaks flow (when the leaks flow)
Do my best to patch the damage, by that I mean it's all fine (hey)
That's how I do, how I do, handy like

I like cleanin' scenes with lots of holes in 'em
Just the little ones, I'll skip if trucks can roll in 'em
Yeah, that takes more than a weekend, need a whole damn team in
"Funny you should say that?" Geez, I don't believe it
Told you not to drive with your shades pulled down
At night, I'll see someone else now, ayy

Yeah, I'm handy like elbow grease when your bulbs fry (that's right)
When your gutters, they ache with the leaf muck, stuffed grates (a-a-a-ayy)
When the door squeaks, make that stop, dude (hate that friggin' door squeak)
I'm on my best game, that's all true
Useful like khaki belts for tools, you know (tools, you know)
Eas-easy to remember where each thing goes (where each thing goes)
There's the hammer, there's the spanner, there's the big Swiss Army knife (hey)
That's how I do, how I do, handy like

You know, I wonder if I'd have a more positive opinion on country music if the big hits that cross over into the pop charts weren't either boring (like I Hope or 10,000 Hours last year) or just plain stupid (like Cruise or Body Like a Back Road or this pile of shit).

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 4   0
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 5   13
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