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Song Parodies -> "There is a Bar I Know Downtown"

Original Song Title:

"O Little Town of Bethlehem"

Original Performer:

Various

Parody Song Title:

"There is a Bar I Know Downtown"

Parody Written by:

Glynn Leaney

The Lyrics

THERE IS A BAR I KNOW DOWNTOWN

There is a bar I know downtown
That’s open all the time.
Behind its doors are beer-soaked floors,
Believe me, it’s a crime.
And in the darkest corners,
Are things you cannot see.
Take my advice and don’t think twice,
It’s best to let things be.

I’ve heard it said that late at night
Police are often called.
They look for thugs who sell hard drugs;
I’m really quite appalled!
But if you’re there for eating,
You won’t like what they serve.
It’s all so cold (so I’ve been told);
They’ve got a ruddy nerve.

The barman doesn’t give a damn,
He’ll con you if he can.
He’ll charge too much because he’s such
A vile, dishonest man.
He hasn’t any scruples;
He’ll water down your beer.
He spikes the drinks; the whole thing stinks!
Do I go there? No fear!

So if you like a quiet drink,
You’re better off by far,
By staying in to drink your gin,
And don’t get in your car.
You won’t have all the hassle;
You’ll find it’s cheaper too.
Hear what I say, enjoy your day,
And you’ll be glad you do.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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JAY_SHERMAN - November 24, 2014 - Report this comment
If I could have a Christmas Wish it would be to have a children's choir sing this song as a public service announcement.
Patrick - November 24, 2014 - Report this comment
I often wondered about the popularity of such establishments. Years ago I worked with a man who said that he would have to remember to bring his gun on Friday because he was going out to drink after he got off. He said he felt better having it in some of the places he went. If I have to have a gun to go to an entertainment venue (other than a shooting range), I think I will go some place else. By the way, did you know your parody can also be sung to the tune of "House of the Rising Sun"? Of course, "Little Town of Bethlehem" is a bit more ironic. I second Jay's idea for a children's choir. That would be fun.
Glynn Leaney - November 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Hi Patrick, I was aware that the words could be put to the House of The Rising Sun, but I have already rewritten that as "The Pub Called The Setting Sun" - see earlier. It's just that I'm in the Christmas mood at the moment!

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