O little town of Augusta, you know that your wingding
Moves and vexes both the sexes and will erupt this spring.
Your golf course hosts an event the entire world enjoys,
But feminists cannot resist taking fun away from boys.

Hootie Johnson runs the Masters; he has a vicious foe:
Ms. Martha Burk has gone to work to ruin Augusta's show.
CBS does the Masters; its prestige has no peer.
Will long tee shots or Burk's boycott get more airtime this year?

The New York Times calls for one man to join Martha's protest
These mortals' views do not confuse Tiger, who has a quest.
Will Tiger win the Masters? Will Mickelson break through?
Will protest signs get big headlines if Burk decides to sue?

"Your golf club must have women," Ms. Martha Burk decrees.
"Admit a token," she has spoken, "Or we'll bring you to your knees!"
Her cause isn't for the masses, maybe just two or three,
Like Princess Anne or Oprah, can afford the monthly fee.

But Hootie is a gentleman who will not be coerced,
'Twill be his side that will decide just when and who is first!
Opposing gender bias is Ms. Burk's stated goal,
Why are no men permitted in the groups in her control?

The Masters funds women's causes, which sponsors gladly pay,
But sponsors will not foot the bill if Martha gets her way.
If charity loses, who will be the beneficiary?
Commercial-free, winners will be the watchers of TV!