I maimed a mime at Christmastime
At Christmastime I maimed a mime
I maimed a mime at Christmastime
At six-thirty in the morning

I plowed down sev'ral Christmas trees
Don't want to pay, I sped away
I decorated Christmas trees
With tire tracks on that morning

The road was covered with ice and glared
With bright sun rays on frozen glaze
And so you see I was twice impaired
With no traction in the morning

I should have mailed those cards last week
At postal box I should have stopped
Now they lay ruined in the street
From my slip sliding this morning

Oy Vey! I've caused some big problems
What can I say, I've gone astray
I've broken all the neighbor's stems
There's no more roses this morning

Of all the cars that I could ding
I'm most afraid, if made to pay
A real pink Caddy from the King
I totalled it just this morning

And then I mangled Kris Kringle's red sleigh
Now reindeer paws gore Santa Claus
From any angle the vision is plain
No sugar plum dreams this morning

Now I'll get coal in my stocking
For goodness sakes, I've pumped my brakes
But still my car keeps on knocking
All these things down in the morning

Now I'm sliding down a dead-end
This takes the cake, a frozen lake
It's heading for the deepest end
Jump from the car without warning