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Song Parodies -> "Santa Claus Won't Come To Our Town"

Original Song Title:

"Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Santa Claus Won't Come To Our Town"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

He knows if you've been good....he know's if you've been bad....he knows if you've been car-jacking.....
He's been to Beirut
He's been to Baghdad
But kids in our street
Are feelin' real sad
Santa Claus won't come to our town

He tried it last year
He gave it his best
He brought a SWAT team
And bullet-proof vest
Santa Claus won't come to our town

Ol' Rudolph's pretty nervous
Coz venison's a treat
His bright red conk's a target, so
Santa's started packing heat!

Yo!-
Although he spreads cheer
And joy to the earth
Three ho's around here
Don't signify mirth
Santa Claus won't come to our town

{INSTRUMENTAL with added gunfire, screaming and police sirens}

The Easter Bunny's missing?
(Here, try the rabbit stew)
So stay away, Kris Kringle, coz
We'll be coming after you!

Oh!-
The locals will rob
They'll have a field day
They'll bugger your elves
Graffiti your sleigh
Santa Claus, don't come to our town!!!


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   19
 20
 20
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tim Mayfield - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Santa just seems to find the lamest excuses. ;-) Wonderful parody. 5's.
carol - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
another good one Kris. keep it up 555
Arwen - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Well this whole thing is great...but...

The Easter Bunny's missing?
(Here, try the rabbit stew…)

...sent me over the edge...great job!
Red Tim - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Pure comic gold! Loved the line about 'three hos.' Fives all round.
alvin rhodes - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
funny concept...i wrote a similar song last night...guess i'll put it on the back burner for a spell
AFW - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for writing one about my town, Kristof...hilariously, though..this is both funny and true, and that's what real comedy is all about.."Top of the Tree" fives
Stephen aka Step-chan - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
555. I need to do some traditional song parodies myself. =)
LucidLupin LeeBee - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one Kristof ;) 5s
Rex - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
You live in Philadelphia? Funny stuff!
John Barry - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Santa Claus gonna get gunned down. 5s
Phil Alexander - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I was about to say that I liked the "Three hos", too... but thought you might misconstrue my meaning ;-)
Red Ant - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
The "They'll bugger your elves/ Graffiti your sleigh" was the best IMHO. Great work Kristof. 555
Michael Pacholek - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
The comedian Dick Gregory likes to say, "I never believed in Santa Claus, 'cause I knew no white dude would come to my neighborhood after dark." Santa never came to my house when I was little, either. We didn't have a fireplace. That, plus, my mother was cheap.
John Jenkins - December 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Clever parody, but I don't think I want to hear what your town did to the tooth fairy.
stuart mcarthur - December 02, 2005 - Report this comment
I choose "bullet-proof vest" to applaud because it just fit so perfectly - nicely set-up - I kinda like this theme of dark Xmas parodies, Kristof - I've never done a Xmas one, but this has got me thinking - maybe this is an idea for the wombats...555
Peter Andersson - December 02, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm thinking a "Black Hawk Down" scenario here, too bad there there's no song that fits "Jolly Fat Geezer Down", or maybe there is, I'll have to think about that.
Michael Pacholek - December 02, 2005 - Report this comment
John J: She escaped by the skin of her... oh, who am I kidding, it wasn't going to be funny.
Rick C - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Loved the Easter Bunny gag and the vest and the three Hos and........OK, I liked the whole thing...555

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