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Song Parodies -> "On this Jury, Dianne Feinstein"

Original Song Title:

"Just Before the Battle, Mother"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"On this Jury, Dianne Feinstein"

Parody Written by:

Coral Snake

The Lyrics

Dianne Feinstein, you will NEVER put this "gun control" monster on us again, TRAITOR!!
(Musical Intriduction)

(1.)
On this Jury, Dianne Feinstein,
I have a message for you.
For the judge's gavel waiting,
A gun control case in view.
I remember all your lying,
Taking rights derived from God;
For soon, when the judge sounds the gavel,
"Not guilty" will be our nod.

(CHORUS)
Dianne Feinstein, you will never (you will never, Feinstein)
Put these lies on us again;
We won't forget you. Dianne Feinstien, (we won't forget you,)
When gun control we have slain.

(Musical interlude)

(2.)
You hypocrite, Dianne Feinstein,
With your crony gun permit;
Packing heat while you take others,
Leads to our "not guilty" bit.
You and other traitors like you,
Help the criminals, we know,
And aid depopulation monsters,
In their genocidal blow.

(CHORUS)
Dianne Feinstein, you will never (you will never, Feinstein)
Put these lies on us again;
We won't forget you. Dianne Feinstien, (we won't forget you,)
When gun control we have slain.

(Musical Interlude)

(3.)
Now! we hear the gavel sounding,
Here's our verdict in the fight,
And well shout it, Dianne Feinstein,
To protect the Second right.
It's our battle-cry of freedom,
When 'not guilty" fills the air;
We'll rally round the freedom standard,
Gun control willl perish there.

(CHORUS)
Dianne Feinstein, you will never (you will never, Feinstein)
Put these lies on us again;
We won't forget you. Dianne Feinstien, (we won't forget you,)
When gun control we have slain.

(Musical Ending)

MIDI - Just Before the Battle, Mother: at: www.pdmusic.org/civilwar Look under Soldiering Life

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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Coral Snake - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
The name of the author of the original song should read as follows - George Frederick Root (1864) - Traditional - I always like to give credit to the original authors of the songs I use even on ones where the copyright expired.
Michael Pacholek - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Dianne Feinstein made a terrible mistake, running for Governor in 1986 instead of 1990. She would have won, and now you would be complaining about how damaging her Presidency was. You deserve a Jewish female President who knows what guns can do to people. (After all, she became Mayor of San Francisco because a flake shot her predecessor.)
Coral Snake - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
My advice I gave to you and your ilk is on one of the other parodies I posted over the weekend that that was put pu by the editors today. If you don't like a country where absolute individual rights are backed up by Jury Nullification than go to the Eupopean Union where your totalitarianism lite is respected. Jury Nullification is going to happen becaues we TRUE CONSTITUTIONALISTS are getting sick and tired of the totalitarian lites on BOTH so called sides of the so called political spectrum INCLUDING the so called "right" (Shrub, Mc Cain, Rove etc.) and the left (Schumer, Hillary, Bicer, Feinstein, "Swimmer"/Kennedy etc.) And that last one should have been kicked out of the Senate and put in PRISON for MANSLAUGHTER for his Chappequidic escapade, so don't tell me there isn't cronyism in the left that would make gun control dnagerous
Coral Snake - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Bicer on the leftist list should be BOXER
Immoral Liberal - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Should Laura Bush also have been put in prison for killing a teenager in a car accident. Should Dubya be tried for crimes against humanity for the unjust war in Iraq? And what the hell is a true Constitutionalist? Really, explain that. The Constitution is a dynamic document. However, the intent of the Second Amendment was for a well regulated militia - a "National Guard" - to protect states against the federal government. You gun nuts should know that. However, I'll make you a deal - give the American people back our First Amendment Rights - taken away by the UnConstitutional Patriot Acts - and we'll give you gun nuts a little lattitude on the Second Amendment - you call all go live in the Fascist Republic of Texas and shoot all the AK-47s you'd like to. The Left is gonna rule again.
Coral Snake - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes, if there is a CRIME of leaving the scene of an accident and not reporting it for TEN HOURS than it is manslaughter and Laura should have gone to jail. And also my view of totalitarian light extends to the Patriot Acts as well as gun control. You seem to think I have a love for Shrub and his cronys simply because I believe in God and see the second amendment as an individual right that dirives from God and his Dominion Covenant with us and NOT the state. NO WAY, in my book Shrub is in the same Illuminati totalitarian lite clique as Feinstein and they are both TRAITORS AND LIARS. I'll admit that I supported Shrub in the 2004 election BUT ONLY AS THE LESSER OF EVILS because Kerry was a more obvious gun and land grabber. My advice is if you want to start getting rid of bad laws passed by TRAITORS who lied their way into public offrice is to use your JURY VOTE the next time you get a summons and the law you are interested in overturinin is a part of the case you are assigned to. Your JURY VOTE is now THE ONLY VOTE THAT MEANS ANYTHING in the age of Corporatist Commu/Fascism and DIEBOLD.
Coral Snake - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
To Immoral Liberal and Michael Pacholek - I would suggest that you look at the Jews for the Preservation of Firrearms Ownership site - www.jpfo.org - or - www.jpfo.net - . Most of the information that inspires my current gun rights/jury nullification parody series comes from this organization of CONSTITUTIONALIST Jews. You can also find out a lot about true Constitutionalism from them.
u r weird - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
you are weird
Michael Pacholek - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Apparently, a "true Constitutionalist" is someone who thinks that if you ban guns, the next step is banning shotguns, which will destroy the sanctity of marriage. (I wish I'd thought of that line, I've forgotten who did.) And why would you insist I look at what Jews think? Are you assuming that, since I am a liberal who thinks there are too many guns, I must be Jewish? (Granted, I do use "Oy" for "Oh" in a lot of parodies...) I like a good sweeping generalization as much as the next guy, but it sounds like you're making a "Some of my best friends are (fill in the blank)" argument. Well, anybody who loves guns as much as you do is no friend of mine, and no friend of America's. "Well-regulated" you most certainly are not.
Coral Snake - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I just mentioned the JPFO because they are currently the most agressive and truthful pro firearms group going today and the ONLY one pointing out the link between "gun control" and genocide. (The NRA these days is only into begging for money like some television evangelist.) Probably a lot of holocaust survivors in that group who wish they had GUNS during the 1939 to 1945 period.
The Truth About Laura - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
You need not concern yourself with any of Immoral Liberal's distorted portrayals of Laura: like everything else he says, it's a lot of blatant bullshit that deceives only those who truly want to believe in it. Here's the real story according to Snopes.com, debunker of urban legends:

The accident is difficult to understand it that it took place on a clear night on dry pavement at a crossroads described as "the middle of nowhere," where the view was unobstructed and the stop sign that faced Laura Welch was clearly visible. (The intersection was a two-way, not a four-way, stop.) Yet looking to only weather and road conditions to explain what happened is to miss the obvious: there were two teen girls in the car, girls who were on their way to a party and thus who likely would have been bubbling over with chatter about who would be there. Laura Welch, the driver, had turned 17 only two days earlier. She and her passenger were still of an age when they could all too easily shut out everything going on around them, even the approach of another car and the recognition of a stop sign.

There are those who want to believe the future First Lady deliberately and with malice aforethought murdered her (ex-)boyfriend over some now forgotten teen tiff and who point to what they view as the suspicious circumstances of the accident and the subsequent lack of prosecution as proofs of their supposition. Yet to entertain such a hypothesis is to believe the young woman would have attempted to kill another by doing away with herself. (As the driver of what was intended to be a murder weapon, she would have had no reason to believe she would survive a collision severe enough to be fatal to her prey â€" that events turned out that way doesn't mean that outcome could have been reasonably foreseen.) Although the theory of "I'll kill you even though I have to kill myself to do it" might still play in a person sufficiently vengeance-minded (e.g., a suicide bomber), it is far better discounted in cases where an innocent life would also be taken (e.g., a passenger in the car). Those intent upon acts of revenge are generally impelled by a misguided sense of justice, and there is precious little justice (misguided or otherwise) in causing the death of innocent parties.

Then there are the circumstances of the crash. It was 8 pm on a November night in Texas on roads far removed from any town, so it was dark. With no stop sign facing him, the doomed young man would have had no reason to slow his vehicle even if he had seen another car approaching the intersection. He therefore would have been travelling at least 50 mph. Laura Welch ran the stop sign facing her, so there is reason to assume she too was going approximately 50 mph, the speed she would have been doing if she'd had the right of way.
The Truth About Laura (cont.) - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Consider two cars travelling in the dark at right angles to each other, each going approximately 50 mph. The span of time available in which to form murderous intent would have amounted to mere seconds, given the speed at which the event was unfolding and how close the two vehicles had to be to one another before the ill-intentioned would recognize the vehicle of her target. It doesn't add up.

One e-mailed version of the rumor tries to supply an answer to that inconsistency, saying, "She knew it was her boyfriend's car driving south, because of the unique headlight configuration of his 1962 Corvair Sedan." The vehicles were traveling at right angles to one another, so an unusual headlight array on one wouldn't have been visible to the other. (According to the experts, the headlight array on the 1962 Corvair was typical of the cars of the day; two headlights on each side, as this photo shows.)

So 17-year-old Laura Welch did cause the death of a friend by running a stop sign, but to see more in the story than that is to surrender oneself up to baseless imaginings. Yes, it is always easier to attribute malice to bad outcomes, but that does not mean malice is an integral component of tragedy, especially those involving people Fate later chooses to exalt.

According to George and Laura: Portrait of an American Marriage, Laura Welch did not find out that the driver of the other vehicle had died at the scene until later when she and her girlfriend were being treated at the hospital. And she did not learn his identity until later still, when her parents arrived and broke the news to her. It shattered her.

She was barely 17 and she had taken the life of a friend. She has since carried the weight of this, and it changed her, at least according to those who knew her before and after. Only rarely has she spoken of this with the press (although she has often been asked), but even on those occasions her answers have been oblique, almost as if she cannot bear to think of it, let alone speak of it.
Arbitrator - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Sounds a lot like Teddy Kennedy's accident - which is the point that Immoral Liberal was making.
Michael Pacholek - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I hereby retract my insinuation of anti-Semitism against Snake. And I appreciate your criticism of the NRA, which, like a lot of liberal groups, is more concerned these days with fundraising than activism. I still think your affinity for firearms is excessive, though. As for Laura Bush, the only unkind thing I can say about her is that she chose the wrong man for a husband. And comparing her accident to Ted Kennedy's is ridiculous. Laura's was on a relatively straight road with a clear stop sign. Ted's was on a wooden one-lane bridge, which curved in relation to the islands it was connecting. It was soon replaced by a more suitable structure. Laura drove like a 17-year-old might. What happened with Ted could have happened with anybody. No one condones how he handled it. But let's be clear: There was no premeditated murder there, and, unlike Laura's eventual husband, Ted was never charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, let alone convicted like Laura's husband.

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