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Song Parodies -> "I've Fallen For The Hilary-H8er"

Original Song Title:

"The Streets of Laredo"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"I've Fallen For The Hilary-H8er"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

a tender bittersweet ballad of unrequited love.....(no names have been mentioned, to respect the sensitivities of those involved)
As I was perusing the AmIRight website
I found a young lass who likes Avril Lavigne
she poured out her feelings and I was quite smitten
a lovelier testament I'd never seen

She mentioned that she "LIKED AVRIL COZ SHE RAWKS!!" and
I wanted to hold her when next day I saw
a lady who totally disagreed argue
that 'HILARY RAWKS!!! - FREAKIN AVRIL'S A WHORE!!!!!"

My poor darling lady had just poured her heart out
and didn't deserve such implied disrespect
She answered "WELL HILARY SUX, YOU BIG LOSER!!!!"
and postured that "DUFF FANS ARE (eager for sex* )!!! "

At this point I thought that her arguments, lucid,
would sway her fair ad-versar-y's point of view
But no, she came back with "U RAT HEADS ARE TONE DEAF!!!!"
and hinted that my lady lived in a zoo

To my sweet relief, this fair maiden who'd wowed me
was up to the challenge - she said "YEAH, SAYS WHO?!?!?"
T'was quite out-of-line that her reeling opponent said
"AVRIL'S A WEASIL EYE PUNK, JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!!"

My chivalrous nature demanded I step in
so I posted "Watch what you're saying, my dear"
She told me I "LICK ORANGE FUZZY MONK-EY BALLS!!"
and claimed I like certain things rammed up my rear

I waited for my darling maiden to read these
quite horrible comments, aimed at her white knight....
But all she came back with was "HILARY'S UGLY!!!!!"
completely ignoring my character-slight

So sadly, I left them to their own devices
their last post was "O.M.F.G. YOU MORON!!!!"
I doubt a solution is on the horizon
so "DUFF AND LAVIGNE H8ERS - PLEASE!
....carry on"


* not an exact transcript

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 42

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 4
 3
 
 2   3
 1
 0
 
 3   4
 4
 5
 
 4   3
 2
 4
 
 5   30
 31
 30
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Serves you right for chasing after 12 year olds....:-) Excellent work, ya pervert! 555
AFW - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Top grade pacing, and knee slapping funny...555
alvin rhodes - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
these lyrics against this beautiful melody just slays me...5s
Phil Alexander - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
ROFL! Wonderful stuff :-D
Stuart McArthur - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks, Kristof, I was just chasing my muse, but alas....

thanks AFW - I hope you weren't laughing AT me - that would turn me into an AFW-H8er !!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL alvin - making that contrast was my initial idea - but it took me ages to come up with Laredo, with it's sweet lilting melody

thanks Phil!!! - PHIL RAWKS!!!!!! hilary sux!!!!
Michael Pacholek - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Five points, and four of them for making me think the h8er was h8ing Hillary Clinton, and then turning out not to be. By the way, what does Mrs. John Howard look like? I'll bet she's as homely as her husband's political views.
Stuart McArthur - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks Michael - I'd email you a photo, but I don't think you have a message-board profile - the two of them live in 1954 - but I'll grant him one thing - he seems to be a political genius :-(

thanks for the 5s - I kind of hoped I might get at least one bite from the hilary8er or the dufflover or AVRIL-RAWKS! - but it kind of testifies to the accuracy of this parody-ballad that this tribute to their 13-month old thread slipped past without causing the merest blip
carol - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
very nice. it's a pity that your unrequited love won't even notice this.
Stuart McArthur - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
I know, carol - and it breaks my heart in two :-(
Stuart McArthur - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
btw - all the capitalised quotes DO actually appear (verbatim) in the Hilary/Avril thread - just a small point
Guy - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm glad someone addressed this. Very good, Stu.
Little Lion - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment
That made my day. I KID you not.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Avril who? ;-)
Stuart McArthur - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
SHH! Peter!! Are You Crazy? If The Hilary-h8er hears you say that, she'll howl you down - (she's relentless, believe me!)
Charlie Decker - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ha! That's simply fantastic. Big 5s!
Rex - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) It's probably best to stay out of such intellectual (intercourse*). *not an exact transcript
Stuart McArthur - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL! Rex - yes, I know - it can really muck* with your brain (*not an exact transcript)

Thanks Charlie! ;-)
Ash - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I dun like Hilary... I'm not THE h8r tho, I'm just A h8r... ;)
Andrew Darwitan - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Nothing but a triple 5s for you.
Agrimorfee - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was cool, because anyone with a familiarity with the 'net could understand this song. Great original idea.
Melhi - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was a real treat. :) I've always loved this old standard and one of the best conversations I ever had with someone famous was with Webb Wilder, which was, in part, about his rendition, which is my favorite of any I've heard. ...And, being a jealous little h8er, myself, I can't resist a good h8er song, either. :)
Adagio - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) LOL...good one. :D
Stuart McArthur - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I know you're not THE h8er Ash, for truly, tho she speaketh of me, (nay, in truth, of this sonnet) on her thread, nary a visit to mine hath my sweetheart such paid

thanks Andrew

thanks Agri

thanks Melhi - do you know the thread of which I speak?

thanks Adagio :)
Rick C - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Stu, this is a RIOT!!!! Keep 'em coming!....555
Stuart McArthur - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
good on you Rick! :-)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Fucking* hilarious!
*not an exact transcript.
Johnny D - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Brilliant*
*an exact transcript
Scathe - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Carry on indeed.
jhilaryh8er - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
cool poem mcaurther LOLOLOLOLOLLhahaha
Stuart McArthur - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
OMG it's happened! - worlds are colliding...

(be still my beating heart)

.....er, thankyou *types carefully* jhilaryh8er......um, hilary RAWKS!!.....I mean SUX!!...YEAH I meant AVRIL RAWKS!!!!!....Hilary ISN'T EXCELLENT!! and if anywun thnk sh is yu nd to go and gt yr hed exmined coz AVRIL'S A WEASEL-EYED PUNK MORON - YEAHHHH!!!!!!!

( whoops, I mean Hilary is...d'oh )
hilaryh8er (the real one the poem was about) - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
loved the poem mcaurther it was hott and i am not jhilaryh8er i am the real one
Stuart McArthur - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I was never fooled, hilaryh8er (might have been the spelling of my name that clinched it) - and thankyou for paying two visits now to this sonnet :-)
Jeff Reuben - April 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny take on that ridiculous thread =)
hilaryh8er - April 28, 2005 - Report this comment
i didnt type what jhilaryh8er wrote this is only my second time on
Stuart McArthur - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Holy Cow! My minds being messed with by hilaryh8ers - aaarghh!

....who both coincidentally (and exclusively) spell my name mcaurther - DOUBLE AAARGHH!!
Claude Prez - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
UR JUST JELLIS U LICK FUZZY ORANGE MON-KEY BALLS
Stuart McArthur - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
feels good doesn't it, Claude.....now I'm starting to understand! - I MITE STRT JOING THM (as soon as I can think of a pseudonym with 8 in it)

oh and thanks agenn to jef and scath and johny and Looke
hilaryh8er - April 30, 2005 - Report this comment
i would make a comment but i have no idea what the hell is going on what do u mean mcaurther do u want it spelled McAurther boohoo just kidding i needed to say something and my fued with go_avril lavinge is getting annoying and was this poem really about me?
Stuart McArthur - April 30, 2005 - Report this comment
dear hilaryh8er - of course it's about you (not jhilaryh8er though) - thanks for dropping by again...

no I don't "want" it spelt McArthur - it IS spelt McArthur - although actually "McAurther" has its charm, so PLEASE - carry on (to paraphrase myself)

what? do you mean, after 13 months, your feud with.....

*types carefully*

"go_avril lavinge"...is getting annoying??? no way!! - there must be plenty more aspects to your discussion that you two haven't covered yet - boohoo just kidding (to paraphrase you)

write soon hilaryh8er
(NOT jhilaryh8er though - I h8 her!)
hilaryh8er - April 30, 2005 - Report this comment
ok Stuart....i was just wonering y did u rite the poem about me anywat not that i care it is cool having a poem after me and i was wondering what is ure age (just wondering) ok i was wondering what is going on in this room also mcaurther how old do u think i am ? *dosnt type carefully* u see i gave go avril lavigne my screen name and she said something rude that i refuse to repete and if she dosnt remeber then she is the jack ass not me then she is talking shit about me not wanting to be her friend so i said fine dont be my friend that is fine with me
Stuart McArthur - April 30, 2005 - Report this comment
hilaryh8er - to answer your questions, I am a lot lot older than you, and I think maybe you're fifteen?

I wrote this "poem" as a gentle send-up of your thread because it's been going for so long. Everyone is aware of your thread because of the space it regularly occupies in "Latest Comments" - so I thought it might be funny to write a parody that poked a bit of fun at it, for the amusement of us other writers who are baffled by its longevity (especially as there doesn't seem to be much progress in your and "go avril lavigne"s debate!!) - so it's just a bit of fun at your expense, and you're welcome to poke fun at my expense in return if you like

by the way, it's been mentioned that even though we're all perplexed by the popularity of your thread, it has now become part of the Amiright landscape, and if it gives you and "go avril lavigne" and carol, and dufflover, etc. pleasure, then good luck with it - stu :-)
Adagio - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Stu...that was a thoughtful answer to hilaryh8er!
Stuart McArthur - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
adagio: yes, well their thread obviously means as much to them as writing parodies does to us - so viva la difference, live and let live, etc. - and thanks for your endorsement - (the whole thing stll cracks me up tho! ;-) )
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
WOW! (SOTM) I loved this. Beautiful atmospheric language. Stunning work.
Spaff.com - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
OMG I f*ing LUV THIS pome!! "Implied disrespect" made me LOL!!! So did many other line's!!!! LOLOLOL *wets pants* It look's like this thread is gettin as long as the other 1 & Im proud 2 say Ive commented on both!!!!! s2art mcRthR rawks!!!!!! *changes pants but puts on diaper 1st*
Tim Mayfield - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I don't think most saw the subliminal message to vote 8's so I won't bring it up. I voted 5's though. I wonder if Chucky stopped it at 5's so we can't vote 666, just a thought.
Arwen - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--this is beyond clever...I have no words. 5s...
Arwen - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--I came back...I still have no words. I might need to borrow some clever for next month though...you've clearly got plenty to spare.
Stuart McArthur - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Thankyou very much Mike!!

Thanks Spaff - as well as never missing your parodies, I also read all your comments to everyone, which are just as witty

thanks Tim - yeah it must've been TOO subliminal as I didn't get a single 8 *fuming*

thanks Arwen - I thought it might appeal to you ;-)...and thanks for your MB comment - I'm only too happy to speak for both of us re these "girl fans"
2nz - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice. This rules, Stu. Bringing a touch of class and sophistocation 2 h8ers all ovr. Or trying to anyway. This definitely rules, Stu.
hilaryh8er - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
mcaurther i no u will not belive this i am 12 and i have no idea what the hell SOTM means and i love the poem it is soo cute and go avril lavigne is no longer going on the site for some weird reason read to no and also is this *types weirdly* site have any drama and if it does tell me and if it doesnt i will make some......
Stuart McArthur - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
.........hmmm

I know this is a nuisance, but could you run that past me again?
hilaryh8er - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
i am 12.................................................what does sotm mean....................................................... and does this site have any drama.............if not i will make some
Stuart McArthur - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
sotm stands for "Song Of The Month" contest - putting "sotm" in a comment proves that the voter has read the parody/poem, and is casting an informed vote (see the message board)

all of us here are over 12 and aren't interested in drama for drama's sake, but I appreciate the offer
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - May 04, 2005 - Report this comment
This may be the greatest set of comments on a parody ever.
hilaryh8er - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
shut the hell up just because i am 13 not 12 it was my b-day a few ago and screw u if it is shit or something and i dont give a damn that r all over 13 does it sound like i do and dont talk shit about what i say and if i want drama dont say i am not mature because i am i just like to have fun ok ok
hilaryh8er - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
sotm or what ever that is and u peole take for ever to respond
hilaryh8er - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
y are you peoples not responding i
hilaryluver+avrilluver - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
i luv hilary duff and avril and im 12 and i rox every1 in my towns world
hilaryh8er - August 03, 2005 - Report this comment
bitches on this
jessica - October 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Its so cool! But make sure that the news here are more shocking than ever! I'm a manger fan of popstars!
Rick C - February 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Stu, I wish I could vote on this again. I saw that you posted it on Matthias' love songs contest so, thought I'd give it another read. Still excellent. LOL funny.
Stuart McArthur - February 01, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Rick - I am fond of this one ;-)
Agrimorfee - February 15, 2006 - Report this comment
(luv contest '06) my previous comments above
bobpiecheese - February 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUVCOMP) I hate it when people ignore my comments. Though those situations aren't as serious as this. Nice work, Phil.
Johnny D - February 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUVCOMP) See above...and above...and above...and above...ad naw-zee-ummmmmm.... ;-) (good job)
Matthias - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
This parody serious RAWKS!!!
S.T.G. - February 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(luvcomp) After reading this my rump is definitely uncomfortable thinking about that line of "having things rammmed up my rear". Funny parody
Arwen - February 28, 2006 - Report this comment
LOVE...man oh man. It just gets better and better as the months go by. And that was before I'd read the comments...which sents me into another fit of giggles. Classic, Stuart.
Luke Brattoni - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUVCOMP) Still luvvin' this gem! RAWK ON!
Larry Hensley - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUV) Many funny lines, good one.
hilaryh8er - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
woww!! Uh havn't been on in forever. and yeah lovely andrew. just lovely you still have this. baha.
hilaryh8er - Four years later. - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
:( I made myself sound like a fool back then. And back when I spent my life on the "Avril and Hilary fight" I never knew "amiright.com" was an actual website, I simply typed into google every day "am i right the avril and hilary fight". Haha! Good times.
Claude Prez - February 21, 2018 - Report this comment
GR8 JOB McAurther
Stuart McArthur - February 22, 2018 - Report this comment
Thanks Claude! Wonder what they're both up to.
Claude Prez - February 22, 2018 - Report this comment
I guess “running the president’s Twitter account” is way too obvious, but sadly it’s the only guess I have (speaking of Hilary H8ers).
Tony - February 22, 2018 - Report this comment
this is garbage and ignorance run rampant

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