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Song Parodies -> "I Think I've Deleted The Internet"

Original Song Title:

"My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"I Think I've Deleted The Internet"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Those support calls from the non-technical friends we love so much... As will hopefully be obvious, the first verse and chorus are sung by the "non-techie", the rest from the poor guy on the other end of the phone who's trying to work out what they've done...

This is fairly similar to a support call I took not long back, where all the user had done was move their IE icon just off the screen...
I think I've deleted the internet
I think that I've done something wrong
I just went to click on the thingy
And just like that - internet's gone!

Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back the in'rnet to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back the in'rnet to me

The 'net isn't on your computer
To view it you have to connect
I'm sure the connection's the problem
I doubt the whole internet's wrecked

Chorus

Do you go on-line with a modem?
Does it dial with screeches and beeps?
You don't sound too sure (Oh, lord help me...
This call might not finish for weeks)

Chorus

Right-click where there isn't an icon
Right-click the main bit of the screen
Select "Arrange Icons"... hey presto!
The internet's back where it's been

Chorus

No, please do not click on that icon
The consequence might be severe...
Too late... and the sound from the modem
Is damn near syringing my ear

Chorus

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Johnny D - January 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Now do try to remain calm, sir, and whatever you do, do not press that KEY THAT YOU JUST PRESSED !!!!! ;-)
Jeff Hingle - January 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Great song making fun of a lot of OTHER people who are real computer morons. Boy, those people crack me up! By the way, my printer's not working. How do I change the ribbon?
Stuart McArthur - January 22, 2005 - Report this comment
You had me with the title, Phil - LOL! - 555
Adagio - January 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Hopefully I'm not THAT bad...:D. Very funny one, Jeff!! Had me by the title too.
MasonR - January 22, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL! Sounds like you've been talking with my mom...
Know 1 can hear you dream - January 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Now if you weren't so busy using half your brain to write parodies while the primary(?) half is busy on the phone maybe you would have found out the poor smuch's problem faster. ;-)

But then, no parody about it I guess...
John Jenkins - January 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good parody - especially "syringing my ear."
Tim Mayfield - January 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil, they should market a book "How to Run a Helpdesk for Dummies" 5's Reminds me of a computer I was fixing, the son said, his friends told him to create a folder named "Tank", then double-click and like magic, a tank game would be in it. Needless to say, I had a lot of cleaning up on that hard drive to do...
Adam Zen - January 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil, that was me you talked to and I want to apolize now to everyone. I'm really sorry I deleted the Internet.
Claude Prez - January 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Very funny. Useful, too. "Right-click", you say? But I always use my right hand to click...
Phil Alexander - January 23, 2005 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks, all
Adam - if it was you, then I never realized Adam could be a girl's name...
Claude - doesn't sound like that's the right click
Tim - my children have been emailed a game link by a friend, in blatant disregard of copyright... but also just the link, no game :-D
Jeff - of course :-)
JJ - the "syringing my ear" analogy should bring tears to the eyes of anyone who's been on the line when a modem kicks in...
I must own up, that what really inspired this one was listening to the radio with Pam Ayres saying to her daughter "I think I've deleted the internet"... once I'd started writing it, it was fairly obvious that it fit with the call I mentioned above.
Steven Cavanagh - January 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, Phil. I hear ya. "Acutally, while I've got you" (the words we support people dread)... could you put the internet on a floppy disk for me?
Melhi - January 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil, Phil, Phil... you're going to get an ulcer going about it that way. The healthy (for you) help line response to "I've deleted the Internet" is, "So YOU'RE the one they're looking for!" heh heh heh. (Funny parody, btw.)
Phil Alexander - January 24, 2005 - Report this comment
ROFL!
Steven - then I'll photocopy the floppy and fax you a copy...
Melhi - you're just plain cruel :-) Not sure that it's better than this one, though: http://www.generationterrorists.com/quotes/misc/wordperfect_helpline.html­
Jeff Reuben - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done Phil...I'd have commented earlier, but..well, I didn't know the cable was unplugged and...
MaWard - July 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done! Loved it

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