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Song Parodies -> "99 Callers Ahead In The Queue"

Original Song Title:

"99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"99 Callers Ahead In The Queue"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

"Welcome to Microsoft Support. We're not able to answer your call right now but we're working as fast as possible to provide service to our customers. Please stay with us to keep your place in line and we will take your call as soon as possible... (pause)... Right now there are... (pause)... 100 callers in line."
99 callers ahead in the queue
99 callers ahead
If one of those callers should hap' to get through
98 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 99 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

98 callers ahead in the queue
98 callers ahead
If one of those callers' support bill is due
97 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 98 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

97 callers ahead in the queue
97 callers ahead
If one of those callers must start all anew
96 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 97 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

96 callers ahead in the queue
96 callers ahead
If one of those callers gets desperate for brew
95 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 96 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

95 callers ahead in the queue
95 callers ahead
If one of those callers should somehow get through
94 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 95 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

94 callers ahead in the queue
94 callers ahead
If one of those callers decide to make do
93 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 94 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

93 callers ahead in the queue
93 callers ahead
If one of those callers gets high sniffing glue
92 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 93 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

92 callers ahead in the queue
92 callers ahead
If one of those callers takes off for a stew
91 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 92 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

91 callers ahead in the queue
91 callers ahead
If one of those callers should somehow peak through
90 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 91 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

90 callers ahead in the queue
90 callers ahead
If one of those callers should somehow leak through
89 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 90 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

89 callers ahead in the queue
89 callers ahead
If one of those callers' among lucky few
88 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 89 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

88 callers ahead in the queue
88 callers ahead
If one of those callers is saying adieu
87 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 88 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

87 callers ahead in the queue
87 callers ahead
If one of those callers should somehow fall through
86 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 87 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

86 callers ahead in the queue
86 callers ahead
If one of those drifting off range in canoe
85 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 86 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

85 callers ahead in the queue
85 callers ahead
If one of those callers should somehow beak through
84 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 85 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

84 callers ahead in the queue
84 callers ahead
If one of those callers should somehow sneak through
83 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 84 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

83 callers ahead in the queue
83 callers ahead
If one of those callers dialed wrong from Peru
82 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 83 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

82 callers ahead in the queue
82 callers ahead
If one of those callers should somehow come through
81 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 82 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

81 callers ahead in the queue
81 callers ahead
If one of those folks can no longer pursue
80 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 81 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

80 callers ahead in the queue
80 callers ahead
If one of those callers' just speaking Urdu
79 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 80 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

79 callers ahead ...

"Honey, can you let the cat out? I'm busy with the dishes!"
*grumble*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 79 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*silence*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 78 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*silence*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 77 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*silence*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 76 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

"Honey, can you do it right now? I think it really needs to go!"
*grumble*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 75 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*walking sounds*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 74 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*sound of door being opened*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 73 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*sound of door being closed*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 72 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*walking sounds*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 71 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*sound of chair being moved*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 70 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*grumble*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 69 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

68 callers ahead in the queue
68 callers ahead
If one of those callers takes off for a screw
67 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 68 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

67 callers ahead in the queue
67 callers ahead
If one of those callers should somehow break through
66 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 67 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

66 callers ahead in the queue
66 callers ahead
If one of those callers should somehow breach through
65 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 66 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

65 callers ahead in the queue
65 callers ahead
If one of those callers's a monkey from zoo
64 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 65 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

64 callers ahead in the queue
64 callers ahead
If one of those folks can't his' sleeping subdue
63 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 64 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

63 callers ahead in the queue
63 callers ahead
If one of those callers has help desk debut
62 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 63 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

62 callers ahead in the queue
62 callers ahead
If one of those callers should later get through
61 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 62 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

61 callers ahead in the queue
61 callers ahead
If one of those callers should this day get through
60 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 61 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

60 callers ahead in the queue
60 callers ahead
If one of those callers should this week get through
59 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 60 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

59 callers ahead in the queue
59 callers ahead
If one of those callers should this month get through
58 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 59 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

58 callers ahead in the queue
58 callers ahead
If one of those callers should this year get through
57 callers ahead in the queue

"right now you are caller number (pause) 58 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

57 callers ahead in the queue...

"right now you are caller number (pause) 57 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*silence*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 56 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*silence*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 55 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*zzzzzzzz*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 54 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*zzzzZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 53 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 52 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 51 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 50 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 49 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 48 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 47 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 46 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 45 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 44 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 43 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 42 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 41 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 40 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 39 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 38 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 37 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 36 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 35 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 34 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 33 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 32 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 31 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 30 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 29 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 28 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 27 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 26 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 25 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 24 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 23 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 22 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 21 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZZZZZ*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 20 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

"Honey, can you let the cat back in? I'm busy watching Oprah!"

"right now you are caller number (pause) 19 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*ZZZZzzzz*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 18 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

*zzzzzzzz*

"right now you are caller number (pause) 17 (pause) please hold, we'll be with you as soon as possible."

"Honey, can you do it right now? I can hear it scratching!"

"right now you are caller number (pause) 16 (pause) please hold, we'll be with
© Peter Andersson.

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The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 2
 1
 
 5   21
 20
 21
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

MasonR - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I can't believe you did the WHOLE THING!!! Inspired--5's for you. Please hold and a representative will be with you in a few years...
wyldehorse - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I applaud your tenacity
Ingeborg S. Nordén - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
My goodness...now THIS is the ultimate "99 Bottles" send-up, and funny because it's true (heaven knows I've spent 4 hours on the phone to tech support a few times). "To show your appreciation, press 5..." *bleep* *bleep* *bleep*
Stuart McArthur - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
that's what I call a "concept" parody - driven of coures by the ruels that you MUST parody the full OS - fantastic, K1 - inspired stuff - 555
Meriadoc - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
This one gets 5's just for the sheer chuzpah of making us read all the way thru for fear of missing something! ;-D
Adagio - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Well...I couldn't believe that you did the whole thing either. I scrolled a little fast in one section and almost missed a funny...ALMOST! This echoes my sheer helplessness on those phone lines to get help. It's either that or hang up and suffer. 5's
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 16, 2004 - Report this comment
MasonR: I almost can't believe it myself, I guess I do owe MS for at least Cut & Paste. (And reading Phil Alexander's "MS Oddity" for the idea).

Wyldehorse: I was born in the suburbs of Tenacity.

IngeBORG & Stuart: That was the idea, noone's ever done (or possibly even sang through TOS) the whole thing.

Meriadoc & Adagio: Yes, to capture the IRL situation of "fear of missing something" I came up with the idea of altering third lines. The alterations are sometimes very small, and they're not all that funny, but if you start to scroll you're bound to miss one or two of those that are (or the "Honey, the cat!" sections).
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 16, 2004 - Report this comment
MasonR: I mean Copy & Paste of course. (Gotta stop commenting this early in the morning). Look for my "An insomniac's lament" tomorrow, only four verses, but an attempt to capture the same originals monotony in another situation where monotony is the point, even required.
Phil Alexander - November 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Kudos, Peter, for the full countdown... and managing to keep it so refreshing. Glad to hear that MS Oddity had a hand in the inspiration - I know what you mean :-) (but in case anyone's wondering what he's talking about, it's here: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/davidbowie3.shtml)
Ashkicksass - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
WOW! Don't know how I missed this one before. There are some hilarious lines in here! Well done.
Ashish The Ruler - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
K1chyd! this is not what i expected from you. my Rudolf The Rednose Gangster is much much better than this. make a better one next time. we want short ones.....
Whatsamattau? - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
OMG! Had me hooked from 99 - 1. Some of those situations are just soooo hilarious! I LOVE it!
G30RG3 - April 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I can't belive that you did that whole thing. Fives for you. The cat partswere te funniest I think, and the different reasons why the people in line left. Good Job!
Gel - August 12, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL poor people!!!!! I wouldn't want to be one of them!

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