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Song Parodies -> "John F. Kerry"

Original Song Title:

"Yankee Doodle"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"John F. Kerry"

Parody Written by:

Royce Miller

The Lyrics

John F. Kerry went to town
A-Riding on a donkey
Always looking down his nose--
Aristocratic honky!

Chorus:
John F. Kerry, go back home
Home to Massachusetts
Maybe you can find ole Ted--
The two of you can booze it

Doing his ole back and forth
On really shaky footing
Flinging campaign promises
As thick as cow pie pudding

Chorus:
John F. Kerry, go back home
That's a thought I savour
Take John Edwards back with you
And do S.C. a favor

Went to serve in Vietnam
He thought that he was Nero
Came back home and put down boys
Who were the real war heroes

Chorus:
John F. Kerry, go back home
Home to Massachusetts
Maybe you can find ole Ted
The two of you can booze it

He voted not to get Hussein
When he invaded Kuwait
And now to tout his "toughness", well,
My friend, I'd say it's too late

Chorus:
John F. Kerry, go back home
Suck upon some candy
Take John Edwards back with you
Cause you're a pair not dandy

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 35

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 8
 9
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   2
 3
 0
 
 5   28
 23
 24
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
First a song about a horse and then this one about two Jack (which is a nick name for John) asses. Well done. You are on a roll today, Royce.
EmiLoca - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
So I decide to visit my fellow AmiRighters for an impromptu bit of parodic refreshment, and what a rude welcome! Unfunny, but hilarious (as I live up to my flip-flopping liberal nature). ;D 5's.
John Barry - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny Kerry went to town/face looking like a pony's/He and Dubya share one thing/They're a couple of phonies.
Johnny D - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
555 for this parody's incredibly brilliant pacing and rhymes!
Nirvana sings to Johnny D - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I wish I was like you
Easily amused
Royce Miller - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
footnote--Edwards is from NC
Johnny D to Nirvana - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
It's called "Appreciating a well-written and clever political parody even when you think Dubya is not intelligent enough to be trusted with the Presidency and you plan to vote for John Kerry".
Dee Range - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Royce. I hate politics, but love great parodies, and this is one great parody. 555
John Jenkins - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Good combination of facts and humor.
Cracker - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I can't believe you used the word honky.
Coral Snake - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you for the 5s on my parody. Returning the favor. If you are looking for a good Conservative web forum I would highly recomend this one to you: http://conservababes.com/forums/ This is one of the other places besides AmIRight where you can see my parodies as well.
Michael Pacholek - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Clearly, Royce does not believe in the proverb, "Tell the truth and duck."
John Kerry - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I approved that last message.
Scathe - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Cheers and 5's for you Royce for a funny parody and cheers for you Dee Range for remembering comedy doesn't need to be analyzed too much.
arwentheelf02 - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
GO BUSH!!! WOOOOO!!! Funny parody nice one lol.
Stuart McArthur - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with both Johnny D's comments above - gotta be objective - the pacing/rhyming was brilliant - 555
Phil Alexander - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent parody, Royce
Peregrin - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny Royce. I loved the honky line too!
Inferno714 - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Finally, an anti-Kerry parody! All I've seen are anti-Bush ones. It was well done. 5-5-5.
Royce Miller - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody of mine has two lines that are copied word for word, on a parody called "Georgie Bushie", submitted one day after mine was submitted. Room Full of Donkeys are the proud authors of that parody, the proud authors that stole from me. This has not happened to me in all the time I've written on Amiright, and if it is allowed, then everyone who writes on this website need to take note--your work can and will be copied.
southern belle - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
i like president bush but you should be ashamed of yourself royce for calling kerry a "honky" that is exactly the same as calling a black politician a "nigger"
A Conservative Republican African-American - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
I certainly do not like John F. Kerry. Unfortunately, "southern belle" is correct. Although you speak clearly and powerfully against John F. Kerry in this song-parody, your arguments lost all moral credibility when you employed the racial slur "honky". President Bush is not a racist, and he would never stoop so low as to employ such a hate-filled and racist term against his opponent. You are not helping our conservative cause with racist speech of that sort.
Big sigh - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
The last two comments....yes, okay, you may personally take some issues with the use of the word, but you know, it is in the end, simply a parody. I don't understand why some people have so much trouble with this concept? Go and look at the dictionary definition of 'parody' and open your minds a little. Go and laugh sometimes. It doesn't matter what side of politics you are on, it is possible to laugh at your own side or the other without drawing knives. Lighten up, you'll blow a valve or something, there must be better things to expend your energy on?
Anastasia Beaverhausen - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
did you honestly just tell them to lighten up regarding a horrible racial slur, when you can't lighten up when anyone disagrees with you at all, royce? that is ridiculous!
Big sigh - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Anastasia, I can only assure you that I am not Royce. You can choose to believe that or not. Given the wording in Royce's note above, I hardly see why she would choose this point in time to hide behind a pseudonym, do you? I still contend it is just a parody. It is only as controversial as you are making it, that's all I was trying to say. I think we get stuff a bit out of perspective here, we are the only people who see them, they do not alter the world.

My apologies Royce, if anyone else has given you any grief over the above post being mis-attributed to you, it was not my intention (bigger sigh)....

Footnote: I understand some people get upset over the use of the term honky. But my reading of it did not see it being used in way that was intended to be intentionally upsetting. To me it was simply an amusing descriptor, which coupled with the word 'aristocratic' beforehand, outlined a picture of status the author was trying to portray.
Arwen - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I swear that I'm not intentionally trying to be combative today!!

Anyway...I noticed Anastasia sticking up for me over on another parody, so I'll put my two cents in here...I guess I can't really say that I'm speaking for her...but I AM offended by ANY racial slur...so...here's my take, Big Sigh:

You telling me...(or the southern belle, or the Conservative Republican African American)...that the term is an "amusing descriptor" does not automatically make it amusing. I consider my sense of humor to be very well in tact...but there are some things that just aren't funny to me, regardless of whether they appear in a political speech...or in a newspaper column...or in a parody.

If someone wrote a parody about something that was TRULY offensive to you...it wouldn't (or maybe I should say that it shouldn't) be funny just because the author said "oh, by the way, this parody about killing your mother is hilarious!"

Southern Belle and CRAA have the right to be offended and to say that they're offended. And you have the right to state that you're not offended. I don't think it's appropriate, however, for you to tell someone to "loosen up" because their sense of humor does not match your own.

That's why there is a "funny" category on voting...because most people realize that humor isn't absolute...what is funny to you doesn't have to be funny to others. Maybe you're the one who needs to open your mind...
Big sigh, sighing less! - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
You may well be right Arwen, and your point is well made. Nonetheless I still contend that just because you read something that 'can' be offensive (and yes, I take your point that it is up to the individual as to whether it is or not), doesn't automatically make it so. I was concerned that the two respondents 'may' have been made their comments based on an 'auto-pilot' reaction, rather than looking at the context in which it was used. That is only something the 2 concerned can answer!

My apologies if I insulted anyone, it was truly not intended. I accept that my choice of words could have been a lot better.

I guess the problem with the funny category is that particularly with politically based parodies, many people overlook the value of the parody because of the fact that the content, or target, of the parody, is on the 'side' that they support. Not saying that that has happened here, but more a generalistic comment regarding all political parodies, and that in part was the basis of my lighten up comment.

I try to take foot out of mouth now and choose my wording better next time...
Even Parody Can Be Hurtful - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I must add my voice to those who feel that use of the word 'honky' serves only to perpetuate racial animosity and conflict, already in abundance in American society, notwitstanding any 'progress' made as a result of the civil rights movement.

To voice one's distaste for the term is not to condone 'censorship' or to disregard another's 'right' to 'free speech' (although this right as outlined by the U.S. Constitution is not as absolute as the uninformed would have you believe). To voice one's opinion in a civil manner is simply to take responsibility for expressing one's own expectations of a civilized society. And there are simply those of us who feel that denigrating others based on their ethnicity is unacceptable.

Obviously, there are more than a few who feel otherwise. The struggle continues...
Arwen - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
VERY well said, EPCBH!! Thank you!
Non Partisan of Indeterminate Race - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
CRAA, we don't know whether Bush is racist or not. Besides, people throw that term around carelessly these days to scare one another. We're all racist. We all think in terms of race. That's the country we live in. Does that mean we all believe people of other races are to be disrespected? No we don't all think that. But people who claim self-righteously to not be racist strike me as silly, self-deluded and/or just disingenuous. We think in terms of race because we're programmed through our biased experiences to think that way. It's just the way it is in America in the 21st century. Failure to recognize that is the REAL danger. Why is it that people are often willing to admit to being sexist, but would NEVER admit to being racist? The other day, my mother told me she went to the doctor, and I asked "what did he say?". That's sexist. That doesn't mean I don't think women are smart enough to be doctors, or that women shouldn't be doctors, it's just the way I reflectively thought, in the abstract, of 'a doctor', as soon as I said it, I immediately thought to myself, "hey why'd I say 'he'? Gee, that was sexist."
Elton John - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Gee, when I wrote 'Honky Cat', I only thought I was making fun of hillbillies. Now I realize everone thought I was making fun of white people. Thanks so much you all for setting me straight about my intents. Good thing it wasn't a hit, eh? :-P
Rolling Stones - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
We're soooooo ashamed. We are going to change the title to:

"Poor White Trash Tonk Women"
And also - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't HONK at anyone, lest they become offended. Of course, it is still fine to fire a gun at them if they cut you off, because in our land, that is considered MUCH more acceptable!
not saying my name - November 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I H8 U IF U LIKE DUBYA!
Adagio - November 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Royce...nice parody. Nice that you wrote one FOR Bush. Thank you.
Kerry - December 15, 2004 - Report this comment
And Also, that's just a flat out stoopid ass comment.
JF Kerry - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
You're not welcome.
Mr. Critic - February 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Any parody supporting GWB gets all one's from me.
Royce Miller - February 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Critic: Okay with me, just so long as 1+1+1 isn't your IQ total--
Mrs. Critic - April 09, 2006 - Report this comment
How could you like GWB? He's screwed up the country since the day he set foot in office. And no, 3 is NOT my husband's IQ total. However, an IQ of one hundred and eleven is a GOOD thing. I also agree with "not saying my name"'s comment.
Immoral Liberal - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
So instead of getting a bright war hero as president, we ended up with a dumb draft dodger who committed treason. Lets' see, the great Bill Clinton was impeached for engaging in consensual sex - what is the punishment for a president who commits treason? Execution? (You right-wingers pushed for the death penalty.) Perhaps Dubya could be spared his treasonous life - I think that only Florida and Texas execute the mentally challenged.
Northern Bright - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
It's obvious that you people in the south are still eating cow pie pudding. And, of course, Bush and those who voted for him are racists - look at the faces of Katrina - they weren't white republicans who were left dying in New Orleans. Nope, the scene would have been different in Crawford. This president may be worse than Nixon.
Northern Bright - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Sounded so nice, had to say it twice. George Bush - traitor, killer, draft dodger.
Stewart Smalley - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Bush ain't a hero, he's a ZERO! A big fat zero!
Elwood P. Dowd - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent parody, but a lot of comments by the truly lame and humorless. The only people dying in New Orleans, aside from the bedridden, were those too stupid to figure out how to make it a few miles to higher ground. My Grandma could have crawled there in the days they had. I don't necessarily think they ALL were stupid -- but they were Democrats and therefore used to just sitting there waiting for the government to solve the problems they make for themselves. Those offended by the term honkey (pseudo-offended is probably closer) are only a step or two away from the degenerate monkeys who rioted and killed over cartoon depictions of their so-called "prophet." Grow a sense of humor, or borrow one.
Stewart Smally - March 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Elwood P. Dowd, you are the kettle calling the pot brown. Any parody that supports GW and attacks his rivals is just wrong. Like I said before, GWB is not a hero; he's a ZERO. A Big Fat Zero!

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