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Song Parodies -> "Periodic Table: Group 7 - the Halogens"
Original Song Title:
"Scarborough Fair"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Periodic Table: Group 7 - the Halogens"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
In order, the group seven elements are: Fluorine, Chlorine, Bromine, Iodine and Astatine.
Are you studying group seven there?
F, Cl, Br, I, At
Some useful facts I'll make you aware
How much more to learn can there be?
Called "Halogens" 'cause they make salts
F, Cl, Br, I, At
Now if you get that wrong: it's your fault
How much more to learn can there be?
Seven electrons in each outer shell
F, Cl, Br, I, At
With eight (one-minus), they're stable as hell
How much more to learn can there be?
Fluorine is yellow and Chlorine is green
F, Cl, Br, I, At
Bromine is red, dark is Iodine
How much more to learn can there be?
F melts at -220 degrees
F, Cl, Br, I, At
Go down the group, m.p. will increase
How much more to learn can there be?
Fluorine grabs 'lectrons because it's so small
F, Cl, Br, I, At
But Astatine barely wants 'em at all
How much more to learn can there be?
Are you studying group seven there?
F, Cl, Br, I, At
So were these useful? What? You don't care...
How much more to learn can there be?
F, Cl, Br, I, At
Some useful facts I'll make you aware
How much more to learn can there be?
Called "Halogens" 'cause they make salts
F, Cl, Br, I, At
Now if you get that wrong: it's your fault
How much more to learn can there be?
Seven electrons in each outer shell
F, Cl, Br, I, At
With eight (one-minus), they're stable as hell
How much more to learn can there be?
Fluorine is yellow and Chlorine is green
F, Cl, Br, I, At
Bromine is red, dark is Iodine
How much more to learn can there be?
F melts at -220 degrees
F, Cl, Br, I, At
Go down the group, m.p. will increase
How much more to learn can there be?
Fluorine grabs 'lectrons because it's so small
F, Cl, Br, I, At
But Astatine barely wants 'em at all
How much more to learn can there be?
Are you studying group seven there?
F, Cl, Br, I, At
So were these useful? What? You don't care...
How much more to learn can there be?
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| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 11 | 12 | 10 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 2 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 13 | 15 | 18 |
User Comments
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I think I've got it but please don't test me on them - looks like you've settled your score with yesterday's fact-faulters, Phil!..... Way to go, mate - 555
Thanks, Stuart... Looks like I missed the first bit from my preamble where I said that this was a repost to fix the mistakes I made in my other parody. Ah well...
Traditional? I thought it was by Simon and Garfunkel. ???
555 from this M.I.T. drop-out.
Philbo, I found the following "electron joke" on the Web...you might get a chuckle or two out of it...
The Sex life of an Electron
by Eddie Currents
One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro-Farad decided to seek out a cute little coil to help him discharge.
He picked up Milli-Amp and took her for a ride in his Megacycle. They rode across the Wheatstone Bridge and stopped by a Magnetic field with flowing currents and frolicked in the sine waves.
Micro-Farad, attracted by Millie-Amp's characterisic curves soon had her fully charged and proceeded to excite her resistance to a minimum. He gently laid her at ground potential, raised her frequency and lowered her reluctance.
With a quick arc, he pulled out his high voltage probe and inserted it in her socket, connecting them in parallel. He slowly began short circuiting her resistance shunt while quickly raising her thermal conductance level to mil-spec. Fully excited, Milli- Amp mumbled "MHO...MHO...MHO"
With his tube operating well into class C, and her field vibrating with his current flow, a corona formed which instantly caused her shunt to overheat just at the point when Micro-Farad rapidly discharged and drained off every electron into her grid.
They fluxed all night trying various connectors and sockets untill his magnet had a soft core and lost all of its field strength.
Afterwards, Milli-Amp tried self-induction and damaged her solenoids and with his battery fully discharged, Micro-Farad was unable to excite his field. Not ready to be quiescent, they spent the rest of the evening reversing polarity and blowing each others fuses.
Philbo, I found the following "electron joke" on the Web...you might get a chuckle or two out of it...
The Sex life of an Electron
by Eddie Currents
One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro-Farad decided to seek out a cute little coil to help him discharge.
He picked up Milli-Amp and took her for a ride in his Megacycle. They rode across the Wheatstone Bridge and stopped by a Magnetic field with flowing currents and frolicked in the sine waves.
Micro-Farad, attracted by Millie-Amp's characterisic curves soon had her fully charged and proceeded to excite her resistance to a minimum. He gently laid her at ground potential, raised her frequency and lowered her reluctance.
With a quick arc, he pulled out his high voltage probe and inserted it in her socket, connecting them in parallel. He slowly began short circuiting her resistance shunt while quickly raising her thermal conductance level to mil-spec. Fully excited, Milli- Amp mumbled "MHO...MHO...MHO"
With his tube operating well into class C, and her field vibrating with his current flow, a corona formed which instantly caused her shunt to overheat just at the point when Micro-Farad rapidly discharged and drained off every electron into her grid.
They fluxed all night trying various connectors and sockets untill his magnet had a soft core and lost all of its field strength.
Afterwards, Milli-Amp tried self-induction and damaged her solenoids and with his battery fully discharged, Micro-Farad was unable to excite his field. Not ready to be quiescent, they spent the rest of the evening reversing polarity and blowing each others fuses.
Say what - in my preface to my first release of this one, I pointed out that I wasn't going to use S&G's version of this because they miss out half the verses: it's a traditional English folk tune that's been around for I'm not sure how long - two hundred years or more.
JD - did you know that the other unit of resistivity (as well as 'mho's, which you mentioned) is 'siemens'... which sounds just as appropriate, don't you think?
JD - did you know that the other unit of resistivity (as well as 'mho's, which you mentioned) is 'siemens'... which sounds just as appropriate, don't you think?
Okay then... thanks for the info. ;-)
Reading this made me thirsty. I guess it was the salt. Fine parody Phil.
Say those group seven elements and you'll get my rating; I love it!
i thought very bad very innocent
haha hahaha hahah... this is easily the best song of all time... like seriously, how gud is it... i'm so glad i came to this site... i'm not wasting my time getting bored at all...
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