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Song Parodies -> "New Hampshire Primary Marching Cadence"

Original Song Title:

"Military Cadence (Sound Off!)"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"New Hampshire Primary Marching Cadence"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

This song is done to the traditional military cadence beat. Practice marching as you sound off to this.
'Lection day in New Hamp-shore,
In this year two-oh-oh-four.
Edwards, Dean and Kerry too,
Not Dick Gephardt, he's all through.

Run-off
With two
Run-off
With four
It don't matter,
We're screwed, once more!

These candidates come from the left,
Not right.
Taxation is just legal theft,
They cite.

Where oh where is Albert Gore?
Promised he'd run in oh-four
He's afraid of hanging chad,
Couldn't be here that's too bad.

Run-off
With two
Run-off
With four
It don't matter,
We're screwed, once more!

These candidates come from the left,
Not right.
Taxation is just legal theft,
They cite.

Bill and Hilly what a crew,
In the white house for terms two.
It could be just like before,
Hillbillies could rule once more.

Run-off
With two
Run-off
With four
It don't matter,
We're screwed, once more!

These candidates come from the left,
Not right.
Taxation is just legal theft,
They cite.

Howie Dean he'll rave and rant,
In each state his feet he'll plant.
Lieberman's a hawk it's true,
Nuke 'em into primal goo.

Run-off
With two
Run-off
With four
It don't matter,
We're screwed, once more!

These candidates come from the left,
Not right.
Taxation is just legal theft,
They cite.

Edwards is a southern gent,
Wants your money to be spent.
Says he can beat Bush's house,
In the north, west, east and south.

Run-off
With two
Run-off
With four
It don't matter,
We're screwed, once more!

These candidates come from the left,
Not right.
Taxation is just legal theft,
They cite.

Kerry's got some bucks it's true,
Kennedy is backing you.
Senator with barrel pork,
He will give us all a fork.

Run-off
With two
Run-off
With four
It don't matter,
We're screwed, once more!

These candidates come from the left,
Not right.
Taxation is just legal theft,
They cite.

Don't forget that GI West,
Generals play better chess.
First it's peace and then it's war,
Now it's peace he cries once more.

Run-off
With two
Run-off
With four
It don't matter,
We're screwed, once more!

These candidates come from the left,
Not right.
Taxation is just legal theft,
They cite

Lastly there is Ku-cin-ich,
Do not think he will finish.
Who will finish one, two, three?
Edwards, Dean and John Kerry.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2
 
 2   1
 2
 2
 
 3   3
 1
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 4   1
 0
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 5   8
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm "only" 45 years old, but I'm a fan of Vaughn Monroe, and I remember Monroe's version of this tune - well done, Five Star Parodier General DiRito!
John Jenkins - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Good parody, Guy. I think that all of the Democratic candidates would give us the fork; but, you are right, Kerry would fork us with Heinz catsup.
Adagio - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL...be funny if they could sing it as they march!
Adagio - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
. Someone at sometime said that every male that comes through basic will toward the end of the training have to undergo a square needle inserted into a testicle....does anyone know about this? *shudder*
Guy - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Adagio - that refers to USAF boot camp at Lackland AFB as an urban legend as I recall. I heard that story in 1970 and we all dreaded the day that never came. There are lots of these stories that just hang around that place decade to decade. It's amazing. .
Jack Wilson - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL! Great job!
Oliver Wendell Holmes - January 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Taxes are the price we pay for living in a free society.
Oliver Stan Laurel Hardy - January 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Freedom is the price we pay for living in a taxed society.
darnell - November 09, 2008 - Report this comment
dude that sucked
Guy - November 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks you Darnell - no one has commented on this in a long time and antthing is better than nothing. Have a lovely day.
Invisible Boy - November 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Never saw this one before, Guy.
Greetings from the "Granite State"
Live Free or Die
Guy - November 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks IB - I think it was written before you came onboard? It is probably the only cadence number on the entire site. I was just using my military bearing for some fun.

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