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Song Parodies -> "The Farting Policeman"
Original Song Title:
"The Laughing Policeman"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"The Farting Policeman"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
Just a quick note: IST is, of course, the Iraq Survey Team.
I know a fat old policeman
He alway makes a smell
A flatulent and red-faced man
He really stinks to hell
It's more than indigestion
I'll bet his pants are brown
And everybody says
It's time to fumigate this town
Chorus:
Prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp, prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp
Prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp, prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp
Prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp, prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp
Prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp, prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp
He farts upon point duty
You smell their sweet perfume
He farts at suspects inside the
Interrogation room
He always gets confessions
His suspects always tell
(Though once he did arrest a man
Without a sense of smell)
Chorus
He went to train some new police-
Men over in Iraq
We hope and pray that he will stay
And never will come back
But when he showed his technique
To bring baddies to their knees
IST came round, they thought they'd found
Some WMDs
Chorus
So if you chance to meet him
And fear for your own death
Shake him by his fat ol' hand
But be sure to hold your breath
Then make sure you get out of there
Make haste and do not fail
'Cause when he starts a-farting
Measures on the Richter scale
Chorus
He alway makes a smell
A flatulent and red-faced man
He really stinks to hell
It's more than indigestion
I'll bet his pants are brown
And everybody says
It's time to fumigate this town
Chorus:
Prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp, prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp
Prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp, prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp
Prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp, prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp
Prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp, prrp prrp prrp prrp prrp
He farts upon point duty
You smell their sweet perfume
He farts at suspects inside the
Interrogation room
He always gets confessions
His suspects always tell
(Though once he did arrest a man
Without a sense of smell)
Chorus
He went to train some new police-
Men over in Iraq
We hope and pray that he will stay
And never will come back
But when he showed his technique
To bring baddies to their knees
IST came round, they thought they'd found
Some WMDs
Chorus
So if you chance to meet him
And fear for your own death
Shake him by his fat ol' hand
But be sure to hold your breath
Then make sure you get out of there
Make haste and do not fail
'Cause when he starts a-farting
Measures on the Richter scale
Chorus
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 4 | 3 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 5 | 5 | 7 | ||||||||
| 5 | 5 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
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wmd's that's funny
Pfft That Pfft was Pfft Excellent Pfft 5-5-pfft-5
Never heard of the original but I daresay I don't really need to to appreciate this. Funny stuff.
what claude said
Eh, I don't care about the WMD lines. The song is 100 years old or so, but no one will care about WMD's a decade from now. 545
On the contrary, a decade from now WMD's will be the biggest political issue there is. I gave this 5-5-5 for originality. The laughing policeman song dates back to the original civilian law-enforcement unit, the British 'peelers' of the late nineteenth century.
Claude & Ethan - it starts like this:
"I know a fat old policeman
he's always on our street
that fat and jolly red-faced man
he really is a treat
he's too kind for a policeman
he's never known to frown
and everybody says that he's
The happiest man in town
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha (x4)
Agrimorfee - I thought the sitcom element of thinking breaking wind was chemical weapon attack was maybe a little hackneyed but kind of funny anyway, and there are Brit policemen over there at the moment training their new police force; you're probably right, nobody will care about WMDs ten years from now, but who's going to be reading this song then?
Thanks, Laurence & Manuel :-)
"I know a fat old policeman
he's always on our street
that fat and jolly red-faced man
he really is a treat
he's too kind for a policeman
he's never known to frown
and everybody says that he's
The happiest man in town
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha (x4)
Agrimorfee - I thought the sitcom element of thinking breaking wind was chemical weapon attack was maybe a little hackneyed but kind of funny anyway, and there are Brit policemen over there at the moment training their new police force; you're probably right, nobody will care about WMDs ten years from now, but who's going to be reading this song then?
Thanks, Laurence & Manuel :-)
A fine parody - I can't imagine why it has been so long in coming; Uncle Mac used to play it nearly every Saturday on Childrens' Favorites - that was 60 years ago, and it was old, then.
Thanks, Colin - before I started this one, I had to check whether the parody had been done before: as you say, it seems an obvious choice. But apparently not :-)
Definetley different, do you know how i can get hold of the laughing ppoliceman to download
I've not seen it around on mp3, Ruth - but it might be worth having a general google or WinMX search...
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